I had an intense burst of creativity today and decided to whip out another chapter. I think you'll all like it :D
Sidney's POV:
Apparently patience wasn't really my best trait. I had sworn to myself that I would keep being patient with Emma but after she hadn't answered any of my texts during our roadtrip, I was ready to do what it took to make her speak to me again. Was she really that freaked out by me kissing her? I was starting to worry that I had misread the signals and that she secretly hated kissing me and didn't want to make me feel bad.
And now I sounded like a girl while I internally struggled over what to do. It wasn't like I could tell anyone because no one I knew could keep a secret and if I told Marc anything he would tell Vero and she would tell Emma. Those two were practically attached at the hip and I couldn't imagine her keeping a secret from Emma if it involved something juicy.
That morning I had woken up with the intention of going to the rink early before practice at 10 and get some of my aggression out on the ice. Instead I had only made it through half of my usual routine before I found myself back where the whole mess had started- outside of her office door.
The rest of the staff had looked at me strangely when I entered the offices still dressed in my workout gear and probably looking suspicious considering there was no real need for me to be up here. Should I knock or turn around and wait until she came to me?
Who was I kidding? She was avoiding me for a reason and wouldn't come to me until I confronted her about it. All girls, even the good ones like Emma, worked like that. They made us suffer without even knowing it.
I knocked on the door before I could change my mind again and waited until I heard the faint sound of her voice telling me to come in. I opened the door and tried not to let the look of shock on her face annoy me. She masked it quickly and flashed a smile smoothing down the front of her blouse.
"Hey Sid, what can I do for you?"
Sid? She never called me Sid. Not even when we weren't friends. She was one of the few people in my life that did call me Sidney aside from my grandmothers.
"Is your phone broken?" I asked trying to cut through her mask of defense. If she thought that she was getting away this time, she was wrong.
"My phone?" She asked obviously playing dumb. She had never been a good liar. Even if it occassionally worked with other people, it didn't work on me.
"Yeah, I've called and left a message and sent you a bunch of texts. And you didn't reply to any of them."
She opened her mouth to speak and then sighed loosing one layer of her composure.
"I've been busy and I got your message but then I figured you would be too busy on the road to talk."
That was a logical enough reason but she still obviously didn't want to talk to me. Somehow not talking to Emma for a week was a million times worse than not talking to anyone else- my current girlfriend included.
"So can we talk now? Either that or come over to dinner tonight so that we can talk then. I'm tired of you avoiding me."
She gave me another look and I cut her off before she could say anything else. "Don't try to deny it. You know you've been avoiding me." I knew that I was being a little too aggressive with her but once she was set on doing something, she was nearly unstoppable. And right now she was dead set on pretending like I didn't exist. The idea of that was crawling under my skin and bugging the hell out of me.
"Fine, dinner it is. But I won't be done until 7 so do you want me to just pick up the food on my way over?"
"Nope, don't worry about it. Just come over and I'll figure out dinner."
She nodded still looking at me warily and I told her that I would see her later before heading out to continue my workout downstairs. I didn't feel any better about the situation but at least she was talking to me. If she was talking to me and coming over for dinner, then that was a start. For now I had to strategize and take care of something important.
Emma's POV:
How was he able to pinpoint my actions so well? After barging into my office and looking annoyingly sexy in his workout clothes, he had zeroed right in on the fact that I had been avoiding him and somehow coerced me into having dinner with him.
I was a total failure at being a woman. Weren't women supposed to have control over men and not the other way around? Weren't we supposed to flutter our eyelashes and make everyone in the near vicinity with a penis fall to their knees? My own Mother could do it and had been doing it for years before my Dad wised up and caught on to her tricks.
The real problem here wasn't my lack of feminine wiles, it was that I was a pushover when it came to him and he always knew how to get past me. But that was old news. I had long gotten over the fact that when it came to Sidney Crosby, he was always going to have more control over me than I would over him.
Do you know how terrifying that realization is? To realize that someone literally has that much control over my actions and thoughts? It would be unhealthy if I wasn't a productive member of society and if we weren't strictly friends with one measly kiss between us. What was that old saying in black and white movies? 'What's a kiss between friends?'
That phrase became my mantra as I worked the rest of the day to distract myself from my own wandering mind. By 6pm I realized that I had exaggerated my workload and was browsing the internet reading news articles just to pass the time so that I didn't show up on his doorstep too early. I could at least save my dignity by not appearing too eager and showing up on his doorstep before 7pm.
Finally after reading weather forecasts for Pittsburgh and other random cities a million times, I turned off the lights in my office and headed out to my car. On the way over I tried not to psych myself out by worrying too much about he wanted to talk about. The naive part of me still wanted to believe that he just wanted to discuss charity or hockey with me. Anything but the kiss we had shared. I didn't think that my heart or my head could handle listening to him apologize and give me a random reason why he did it.
When I pulled up outside of his house, it was all lit up with one of the garage doors open so that I could pull my car in and get into the house. I had been to his house hundreds of times before following this exact same routine of letting myself into his house. So why did I suddenly feel like I needed to knock before entering?
The garage door leading into the house opened revealing Sidney standing there telling me something that I couldn't hear because I was still sitting in my running car. He knocked on the window motioning for me to put it down.
"I said, are you ever going to get out of your car? It's been like 5 minutes."
I blushed feeling irritable and embarrassed about how we were both acting and fumbled to turn everything off and detach myself from the car. He was waiting patiently and staring at me as I finally got out of the car.
He looked at me for another moment and gave me a small smile telling me to follow him into the house.
"I ordered chinese food for us."
"Okay, that sounds good" I said finally speaking up and thanking god when my voice sounded normal. How did he always look so good when I managed to look like a disaster at the end of a work day? In the very least he shouldn't wear such tight shirts that show off his broad shoulders so well.
"Wait, why is your vase missing?" I noticed it immediately as we entered the kitchen and saw that his tacky, ornamental vase was mysteriously gone. His grandma had given it to him as a house warming gift and we always laughed about how tacky it was even though he always left it out in the middle of the large kitchen island. It was a staple to his non-existent décor.
"Oh" he said looking angry. "Christine tried to heave it at me."
My jaw dropped in shock as I comprehended what he had just told me. She was not only completely awful but also abusive? "What?!"
"Yeah, we got into another argument and she tried to throw it at me but she couldn't lift it so instead it just fell and broke."
"Oh my god, Sidney. That's terrible! I mean the vase was horrible but it belonged here on the counter." How could she do that? If I didn't hate her already, I hated her now for not appreciating that his grandmother had given it to him as a present!
"It doesn't matter now, she's gone now" he said pulling chinese cartons out of the big, paper bag.
"Good. I wouldn't want to be here if she was still lingering around after that." Having dinner with both of them would be beyond terrible.
He laughed and handed me a plate with a carton of the lo mein he had ordered for me. "No, I mean she's gone. I broke up with her."
I tried to act non-chalant while internally berating myself for being so stupid. Of course he meant that they had broken up. But why? Weren't they thinking of moving in together? He hadn't seemed thrilled about the idea exactly but he never told me what he was going to do.
"She just didn't take the news very well" Sidney added taking his own cartons with him to the living room leaving me to follow him in astonishment.
I grabbed two waters from the fridge before following him. He was already stretched out on the couch not leaving me a lot of room to sit with distance between us and of course, a taping of last week's "Hockey Night in Canada" already on. Strangely, even though I got more than enough hockey during the day time, I liked watching recaps with Sidney. Maybe it was unhealthy that hockey was his job and also the only thing he watched on TV if it wasn't a movie or Friends, but he never seemed to tire of it and I was always entertained just from listening to the sportscasters. I handed him his drink and plopped down careful to put some space between us. Unfortunately the cushions which are normally so comfortable, angled down leaving me sitting closer to him than I would have liked and I sat uncomfortably on an angle.
"So what did you need to talk to me about?" I asked finally breaking the silence between us. How could I enjoy my food when he was just sitting there and not telling me why I was there in the first place?
"Do you know what you're doing for Christmas yet?" He said still focusing on the TV screen.
I wanted to groan and then smack him for bringing me here for that. I was Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide with my emotions all over the place. I didn't want to talk about the kiss but I wanted to. I didn't want to be here with him right now but I did. I wanted to ask him why he had really broken up with the Viper but I couldn't form the words.
"We talked about that. I really think that you should spend the holidays with your family Sidney. You guys don't need an intruder there also" I replied staying calm and trying to keep my face completely passive.
"But you're not going to be an intruder. And I am going to spend the holidays with my family for a few days but I don't see why you won't come with me. You're the only one that is finding anything wrong with this idea."
He looked frustrated with me again almost like he wanted to say something else to me but was holding himself back. If he would just say what he wanted to say, then maybe we wouldn't be frustrated with each other right now.
"Well I don't understand why you won't just accept 'thanks but no thanks' as an answer and let it go." I was getting defensive now and a headache was forming between my eyes. I hated fighting with him and that's all we seemed to be doing lately- almost like we weren't friends at all.
He didn't answer my question. Instead he shook his head at me and got up from the couch, walking into the kitchen leaving me stunned that he had actually chosen to ignore me and just left like that. I don't think so buddy.
"Sidney Patrick Crosby, don't you dare walk away from me." I said following him and channeling my inner-mother. He stood with his back facing me at the sink rinsing off his plate and loading it into the dishwasher still ignoring me.
"Okay listen" I said poking him hard in the back. "You're the one that made me come to dinner tonight and now you don't even want to have a conversation with me. You just want to talk and I'm apparently expected to just fall into line." After years of dealing with my parents, I hated when no one listened to me and just expected me to bend to their whim and will. Sidney was at least supposed to respect me and not do that to me. He was supposed to understand when I said no and not just walk away like I was incapable of understanding.
I poked him again for good measure causing him to turn around and grab my wrist to prevent me from jabbing him again. "Stop poking me" he growled looking at me like I was an annoyance. I hated that. I wanted him to look at me and be just as angry as I was in that moment- not look at me think of me as an inconvenience or like a little kid that needs to be sent away.
"Stop ignoring me when I tell you 'no' or when I explain why I don't want to go home with you."
His grip on my wrist tightened holding me in place in front of him. "I will when you stop giving me bullshit excuses all of the time." He grabbed my other wrist as it went in for the kill to stab him again pulling us closer together. I didn't even care because I was so angry at him that this time, the closeness of our bodies wasn't affecting me like it normally would.
"I invited you home with me because my family is warm and loving- something that I know your family is not. I just wanted to make sure that you enjoyed Christmas this year and knew that you would with my family.That's it. No hidden agenda or ulterior motive."
We stood there in silence after he had finished. His grip had loosened on my wrists and the pads of his thumbs were tracing gentle circles over the pulse in my wrists. Did I believe him? It was hard not to especially since he no longer looked like he wanted to throttle me.
"So what's your excuse now? Go ahead, I really want to hear what you'll make your new excuse of why you can't just enjoy the holidays with my family?"
I stiffened feeling the nice thoughts I was thinking about him disappear and be replaced with anger again at his words. Of course he had to go and ruin the moment like that.
"You know, I was about to say that I would think about it or say yes when you had to go and-" I started to yell at him and pull out of his hold completely when his arm slipped around my waist to my lower back crushing me against him. His lips were on mine before I could finish my sentence and my traitorous lips instantly responded to his. This time was different. Where our first kiss had been short and sweet, this kiss was rough and building quickly into a battle of wills as he gained control and I fought to keep up with him. His strong hand pressed my lower back towards him as we met core to core. His lips were still moving smoothly over mine as he switched our positions and hitched me up to sit on the countertop behind us. My legs parted instantly allowing him full access between them as he continued to attack my mouth and rub his hand up over my blouse to rest beneath my breast. I gasped, eyes nearly rolling into the back of my head as his teeth scraped along my jawline and my hands jumped to his shoulders as I tightened my legs around his waist. He groaned at the new contact and broke the kiss letting our breath mix together in the limited space between us.
"What just happened?" I asked feeling almost dazed. No kiss had ever thrown me off my sanity like this one had- even our previous, perfect kiss.
"You said yes" he said smiling and placing his lips on mine again, this time at a gentler rate.
Okay so I hadn't exactly said yes but his lips felt so wonderful on mine that for once, I let it go choosing to live in the moment instead and find answers later.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Chapter 18
Emma's POV:
I thought that I had died. Maybe died and gone to heaven but mostly I was just dead. Whatever my current state of being, Sidney had unexpectedly kissed me and as much as I enjoyed it, it was confusing as hell.
But lord, the man could kiss me. It was like he knew exactly the type of pressure to use to make my knees weak and my mind screaming for more. Did every girl feel like that while he kissed them? I really, really hoped not. No matter what happened from now on, I wanted to remember that kiss forever as the most perfect kiss I would probably ever experience.
Part of my brain registered that I was bat shit crazy to tell him to stop but my mind was spinning in so many directions that the only thing I could think was 'why is he kissing me?'
That didn't last though as within seconds his perfect lips found mine again and this time, I pulled him closer wanting to wrap myself in his warmth and never leave. I literally felt like we were being electrocuted but it was the kind of shock I didn't mind.
And then I remembered. Christine. He was in a relationship with someone else. I couldn't be that girl who cheated with someone else's boyfriend. Sidney wasn't that kind of guy either which made kissing him ten types of wrong right now.
"Sidney, we can't" I murmured pulling myself away from him once again. "Why did you do that?" There had to be a reason why he had suddenly decided to kiss me- seemingly out of nowhere!
"I don't know" he confessed still holding me, eyes flickering down to my lips and then back to my eyes.
How did he not know? I wasn't a siren that just forced men to kiss me upon command. I certainly wasn't hot enough to attract guys like Sidney- a fact that I had learned a long, long time ago. So how did he just not know why he had kissed me? Besides, Sidney Crosby never did anything without a reason- on or off of the ice.
Everything after that happened so quickly that it was almost like it had never happened at all. Like an idiot I practically shoved him out the door and told him that we would talk later but really that translated to "we'll talk after Christmas because I really need a break from you right now." He was absolutely nuts if he thought I was going to spend Christmas with him after what had just happened. Especially since he still had a girlfriend, it wasn't like I wanted to be a homewrecker. Somehow it had just happened.
"So you mean he just kissed you? Out of the blue like that?"
It had been three days since I had seen Sidney and I had yet to call him so that we could talk. Instead I had rallied Vero and Eliza and confessed all of the weird tension between us while we ate dinner. Sadly, neither of them had seemed very shocked about it.
"The tension between you two is just ridiculous. At first it was kind of cute, but now it's hard to watch." Vero said looking to Eliza who nodded in agreement. Since when had this happened? And why hadn't they informed me? Their own relationship bliss must be clouding their ability to read other relationships fairly.
"Yes, he just kissed me! Out of nowhere!" I said finally answering Eliza's original question. "How are we supposed to stay friends and just friends after this?"
"Wait, wait" Eliza said holding up a hand to pause what I was saying. "You want to be just friends with him?"
That made me pause. I didn't know what I wanted anymore. It wasn't really a matter of choice anyway. It had taken me freaking years to even become his friend. It was highly doubtful that now, all of the sudden after years, he was taking a romantic interest in me. That stuff happened in movies, it didn't happen in real life and it certainly didn't happen to me.
"Well, yeah. I mean we are friends. And we have to remember that Christine is still in the picture."
"I hate that bitch" Eliza commented taking a sip of her coke. "Sid is so much better than her so why is he still with her?"
"She's an easy lay" I said surprising even myself. I didn't normally say things like that but wasn't it true?
Vero was still eyeing me in surprise but agreed with me. "She's right. She's hot if you're into the dark hair and easy thing. What guy wouldn't want that? I don't think that even Saint Sidney is immune to her" Vero added confirming what we all already knew.
Saint Sidney was right. Maybe he was just testing me. Or he was drunk. But who gets drunk after a morning workout?
"Maybe he's finally realizing that a good thing has been in front of him all along" Eliza said shrugging. It was sweet of her to say and I knew she was just being supportive but of course she would say that. She had become a big gooey, romantic mess since meeting Max. Right now, that just wasn't what I wanted to hear.
"Just talk to him. See what happens." Vero told me acting as if this was just a simple matter. Little did she know, this was anything but simple.
Lunch was over entirely too fast and I was standing out by my car back at the Mellon debating whether or not I should call him or chicken out and wait another three days. If I knew what to say, I would call and get it over with. The problem was, I had no freaking idea what to say to him. As I was standing there practically in the middle of an existential breakdown, my phone began to vibrate in my hand. The caller i.d. read Sidney and I groaned outloud realizing that this was probably some sign from a higher being. Clearly this higher being liked to torture me.
"Hello?" Why was I acting like I didn't know who it was? As much as I hated him sometimes, he had the ability to turn me into an idiot.
"Em? It's Sid. I was just wondering if you had a second to talk." The sound of his voice shot tingles down my spine but I didn't trust myself enough to decide whether it was because I had missed him or because I was nervous.
"Um yeah, I have a minute to spare." God, I was pathetic.
"Well we're going back out on the road tonight but I wanted to make sure that we were okay." I nodded even though he couldn't see me as he nervously rambled. It was soothing to hear the anxiousness in his voice while he tried to make things normal between us. It felt reassuring to know that I wasn't the only one who was all worked up about this.
"So I just wanted to make sure that you weren't mad at me or something."
"No I'm not mad, I promise" I said laughing slightly. He sounded so genuinely concerned that it was vaguely amusing. "I've just been really, really busy and I haven't gotten around to calling you." There, that doesn't sound too bad, right?
"Yeah, well listen-" He started to say something but I panicked worried about where he was going to take the conversation. Would it be terribly immature to fake static on the line and pretend that we got cut off? Definitely.
"Actually Sidney, I'm really sorry to cut this short, but I'm just about to walk into a meeting. Could we talk later maybe?" I didn't know why I was ending this conversation so quickly when I was the one who wanted answers. Had I gone completely insane now?
"Yeah," he sighed sounding frustrated with me. "I've got to go too. We're about to take off."
"Okay well, thanks for calling." I felt like we were 14 years old all over again and having our first boy-girl phone conversation.
I knew he was mad when he didn't say anything, choosing to hang up the phone after I said goodbye. I got it- he was frustrated. He was frustrated and I was a coward.
Oddly enough, he hadn't apologized for anything. What did that mean exactly?
Sidney's POV:
I slid my cell phone closed controlling my urge to hurl the phone against the seat in front of me. I had fucked up royally with Emma and now she could barely talk to me on the phone. Usually I could wait and get past her little avoidance games but after trying to be patient for days, I realized that this was going to be harder and a hell of a lot more frustrating than I planned.
Patience was what she needed but what was I supposed to do? Be so patient with her that we never spoke again? I didn't think so.
"Whoa man, save the aggression for the ice." I shifted to let Flower take his seat next to the window while I kept my aisle seat. I hated the window seat and always felt trapped there when we were on long flights.
"Are you okay? We need to kick Staalsy's ass today" he said holding his PSP up as a reminder of our regular flight games.
"Yeah" I told him leaning back into my seat and trying to forget about a certain cowardly redhead.
"Ready to play!" Staalsy yelled boarding the plane and taking the seats in front of us. He was making so much noise that the stewardess looked freaked out by his antics and enthusiasm for Socom. Guess she was new around here.
"You better not make us lose. I'm not covering your ass on the ice and in Socom too" Marc said pulling his tray down and turning on his PSP.
I did not need my ass covered in anything. On the plus side, if I focused on being with the guys for the next few days, then my mind wouldn't be stuck on Emma and wondering what the hell I was even going to say to her once she finally let me speak.
Patience, Sid. Patience.
I thought that I had died. Maybe died and gone to heaven but mostly I was just dead. Whatever my current state of being, Sidney had unexpectedly kissed me and as much as I enjoyed it, it was confusing as hell.
But lord, the man could kiss me. It was like he knew exactly the type of pressure to use to make my knees weak and my mind screaming for more. Did every girl feel like that while he kissed them? I really, really hoped not. No matter what happened from now on, I wanted to remember that kiss forever as the most perfect kiss I would probably ever experience.
Part of my brain registered that I was bat shit crazy to tell him to stop but my mind was spinning in so many directions that the only thing I could think was 'why is he kissing me?'
That didn't last though as within seconds his perfect lips found mine again and this time, I pulled him closer wanting to wrap myself in his warmth and never leave. I literally felt like we were being electrocuted but it was the kind of shock I didn't mind.
And then I remembered. Christine. He was in a relationship with someone else. I couldn't be that girl who cheated with someone else's boyfriend. Sidney wasn't that kind of guy either which made kissing him ten types of wrong right now.
"Sidney, we can't" I murmured pulling myself away from him once again. "Why did you do that?" There had to be a reason why he had suddenly decided to kiss me- seemingly out of nowhere!
"I don't know" he confessed still holding me, eyes flickering down to my lips and then back to my eyes.
How did he not know? I wasn't a siren that just forced men to kiss me upon command. I certainly wasn't hot enough to attract guys like Sidney- a fact that I had learned a long, long time ago. So how did he just not know why he had kissed me? Besides, Sidney Crosby never did anything without a reason- on or off of the ice.
Everything after that happened so quickly that it was almost like it had never happened at all. Like an idiot I practically shoved him out the door and told him that we would talk later but really that translated to "we'll talk after Christmas because I really need a break from you right now." He was absolutely nuts if he thought I was going to spend Christmas with him after what had just happened. Especially since he still had a girlfriend, it wasn't like I wanted to be a homewrecker. Somehow it had just happened.
"So you mean he just kissed you? Out of the blue like that?"
It had been three days since I had seen Sidney and I had yet to call him so that we could talk. Instead I had rallied Vero and Eliza and confessed all of the weird tension between us while we ate dinner. Sadly, neither of them had seemed very shocked about it.
"The tension between you two is just ridiculous. At first it was kind of cute, but now it's hard to watch." Vero said looking to Eliza who nodded in agreement. Since when had this happened? And why hadn't they informed me? Their own relationship bliss must be clouding their ability to read other relationships fairly.
"Yes, he just kissed me! Out of nowhere!" I said finally answering Eliza's original question. "How are we supposed to stay friends and just friends after this?"
"Wait, wait" Eliza said holding up a hand to pause what I was saying. "You want to be just friends with him?"
That made me pause. I didn't know what I wanted anymore. It wasn't really a matter of choice anyway. It had taken me freaking years to even become his friend. It was highly doubtful that now, all of the sudden after years, he was taking a romantic interest in me. That stuff happened in movies, it didn't happen in real life and it certainly didn't happen to me.
"Well, yeah. I mean we are friends. And we have to remember that Christine is still in the picture."
"I hate that bitch" Eliza commented taking a sip of her coke. "Sid is so much better than her so why is he still with her?"
"She's an easy lay" I said surprising even myself. I didn't normally say things like that but wasn't it true?
Vero was still eyeing me in surprise but agreed with me. "She's right. She's hot if you're into the dark hair and easy thing. What guy wouldn't want that? I don't think that even Saint Sidney is immune to her" Vero added confirming what we all already knew.
Saint Sidney was right. Maybe he was just testing me. Or he was drunk. But who gets drunk after a morning workout?
"Maybe he's finally realizing that a good thing has been in front of him all along" Eliza said shrugging. It was sweet of her to say and I knew she was just being supportive but of course she would say that. She had become a big gooey, romantic mess since meeting Max. Right now, that just wasn't what I wanted to hear.
"Just talk to him. See what happens." Vero told me acting as if this was just a simple matter. Little did she know, this was anything but simple.
Lunch was over entirely too fast and I was standing out by my car back at the Mellon debating whether or not I should call him or chicken out and wait another three days. If I knew what to say, I would call and get it over with. The problem was, I had no freaking idea what to say to him. As I was standing there practically in the middle of an existential breakdown, my phone began to vibrate in my hand. The caller i.d. read Sidney and I groaned outloud realizing that this was probably some sign from a higher being. Clearly this higher being liked to torture me.
"Hello?" Why was I acting like I didn't know who it was? As much as I hated him sometimes, he had the ability to turn me into an idiot.
"Em? It's Sid. I was just wondering if you had a second to talk." The sound of his voice shot tingles down my spine but I didn't trust myself enough to decide whether it was because I had missed him or because I was nervous.
"Um yeah, I have a minute to spare." God, I was pathetic.
"Well we're going back out on the road tonight but I wanted to make sure that we were okay." I nodded even though he couldn't see me as he nervously rambled. It was soothing to hear the anxiousness in his voice while he tried to make things normal between us. It felt reassuring to know that I wasn't the only one who was all worked up about this.
"So I just wanted to make sure that you weren't mad at me or something."
"No I'm not mad, I promise" I said laughing slightly. He sounded so genuinely concerned that it was vaguely amusing. "I've just been really, really busy and I haven't gotten around to calling you." There, that doesn't sound too bad, right?
"Yeah, well listen-" He started to say something but I panicked worried about where he was going to take the conversation. Would it be terribly immature to fake static on the line and pretend that we got cut off? Definitely.
"Actually Sidney, I'm really sorry to cut this short, but I'm just about to walk into a meeting. Could we talk later maybe?" I didn't know why I was ending this conversation so quickly when I was the one who wanted answers. Had I gone completely insane now?
"Yeah," he sighed sounding frustrated with me. "I've got to go too. We're about to take off."
"Okay well, thanks for calling." I felt like we were 14 years old all over again and having our first boy-girl phone conversation.
I knew he was mad when he didn't say anything, choosing to hang up the phone after I said goodbye. I got it- he was frustrated. He was frustrated and I was a coward.
Oddly enough, he hadn't apologized for anything. What did that mean exactly?
Sidney's POV:
I slid my cell phone closed controlling my urge to hurl the phone against the seat in front of me. I had fucked up royally with Emma and now she could barely talk to me on the phone. Usually I could wait and get past her little avoidance games but after trying to be patient for days, I realized that this was going to be harder and a hell of a lot more frustrating than I planned.
Patience was what she needed but what was I supposed to do? Be so patient with her that we never spoke again? I didn't think so.
"Whoa man, save the aggression for the ice." I shifted to let Flower take his seat next to the window while I kept my aisle seat. I hated the window seat and always felt trapped there when we were on long flights.
"Are you okay? We need to kick Staalsy's ass today" he said holding his PSP up as a reminder of our regular flight games.
"Yeah" I told him leaning back into my seat and trying to forget about a certain cowardly redhead.
"Ready to play!" Staalsy yelled boarding the plane and taking the seats in front of us. He was making so much noise that the stewardess looked freaked out by his antics and enthusiasm for Socom. Guess she was new around here.
"You better not make us lose. I'm not covering your ass on the ice and in Socom too" Marc said pulling his tray down and turning on his PSP.
I did not need my ass covered in anything. On the plus side, if I focused on being with the guys for the next few days, then my mind wouldn't be stuck on Emma and wondering what the hell I was even going to say to her once she finally let me speak.
Patience, Sid. Patience.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Chapter 17
Hooray for a post! Longer and more frequent posts will be up all week because I am on fall semester break and no classes = more time for me to write :D
Emma's POV:
After the banquet and whirlwind of emotions of the whole previous evening, the last thing I wanted to do the next morning was get up and go to work. Yes, on a Saturday morning, I was forced to go into work and clear press releases from the previous night. After the way my night had ended, spending more time in a building that reeked of Sidney Crosby was the last thing I wanted to do. His face was literally everywhere in Mellon Arena and I didn't need a reminder of the person who had made me cry buckets last night while I struggled to drive home.
Luckily I had an excuse not to stay for too long this morning because I was meeting Vero and Eliza for lunch. If I had a time constraint, then I wouldn't find other things to work on and end up wasting an entire Saturday at the office.
I showered quickly and put on a pair of jeans and one of my favorite Christmas sweaters. Instead of dealing with my hair, I twisted the still-curly tendrils up into a loose bun and decided to ignore makeup for the day. It was amazing how free my pores felt without makeup, especially since I had caked on so much makeup the night before.
After eating some cereal and finishing a cup of coffee, I almost felt human again. Christmas carols were playing in my car and I sang along feeling the horrible memories of the previous night start to float away. In all actuality, last night hadn't been that horrible. The event seemed to go over really well, big name players in the league were interested in helping out and everyone seemed to have had a great time. The only reason I was even feeling so melancholy was because of my fight with Sidney and because he seemed to know me better than myself. Which was frankly, just more than a bit scary. I didn't know anyone that actually liked having someone call them out but it was my pride that prevented me from accepting offers to spend the holidays with anyone else. Did I really want to spend the holidays alone at my house when I could be spending it with friends or with the Lemieuxs? Or with Sidney? Not really. Any of these options was truthfully so much better than spending the holidays alone with a bottle of wine and Joni Mitchell's "River" playing on repeat.
Still, it hurt that he had been the one to say those things to me. I had confided in him a lot over the past two years and so he knew not to press my buttons when it came to my family. He may not agree with the type of family that I had but that still didn't mean that he could judge me on how I dealt with them. Or how I spent my holidays. Besides, I still didn't understand what he thought inviting me would accomplish. If anything, it would just make things awkward for him and his girlfriend who he mysteriously refused to invite with him to Nova Scotia. Why didn't he just break up with her if the idea of spending a holiday with her made him look like he was going to puke? Plus, why was he willing to let me meet his cherished family
I was still feeling annoyed and grumbly about this when I walked into the darkened offices switching on lights as I walked down the hallway. 8:30am on a Saturday- I must be absolutely crazy to be here working after putting in 80 plus hours during the work week.
I'm here on a Saturday doing more work and I refused Sidney Crosby's offer to go home with him for Christmas. I truly was the most insane girl in Pittsburgh. The hillarity of the situation caught up with me and combined with the fact that I thought that I was completely alone, I let the giggles loose and laughed feeling instantly less stressed out. There was something to be said for belly laughs when something was just going horribly wrong in your life.
"Em? Are you okay?" I screamed and spun around ready to defend myself.
"Whoa, whoa, calm down. I'm sorry I scared you again." It was Sidney and he was pulling me closer to him to rest his hands on my shoulders and make my heart speed up again. Did he have to be gorgeous all of the time? Even in his workout gear with his sweaty hair pushed back in a penguins hat he looked like he stepped out of a fitness magazine.
"What are you doing here?" I asked taking a step back from him. Being close to him prevented me from thinking clearly sometimes and right now I had to have a clear head so that I could yell at him for scaring the shit out of me. Could just anyone walk into these offices? Did Mario realize how unsafe that was?
"I know you're Sidney Crosby and everything but do you just have access to the entire Mellon arena?"
He smirked at me and took a seat in the chair facing my desk looking too masculine for the room. "I was working out and had a hunch that you'd be here. You're the only one that's ever here at the arena as much as I am."
I blinked at him realizing that he had a point. "Well in any case, what do you need? I have some things that I need to work on." Maybe he would take the hint that I didn't feel like talking to him just yet. He would just push me some more about my holiday plans and even though I knew he was right, my pride did get in the way of happiness sometimes, I wasn't ready to admit that to him.
"I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. You know, after last night." I was leaning forward and fiddling with a figurine on my desk. He always needed to keep his hands busy when he was nervous and I was secretly happy that he felt nervous about this. The female in me wanted to make him squirm for a little bit.
"What about last night?" I asked playing dumb. "You know, I think the event was really a success. Thanks for talking to the press so much for me." He looked absolutely perplexed why I wasn't bringing up our fight last night. Knowing him, he probably wanted to talk about it. Sidney was a rare breed of male that was okay with talking about feelings most of the time because of his Mom and little sister.
"You know that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about what we talked about last night. I know that what I said maybe wasn't the best-" He stopped when I held up a hand to cut him off.
"Sidney, just let it go. I know you meant well and you don't have to feel bad." He was making me feel like a charity case again and considering charity was my line of business, I had enough of that in my life.
"Why won't you ever just let me apologize to you?" He asked dropping the figurine back on my desk. "You always do this!" He looked frustrated and a little like he did in the hockey roadtrip commericial he had done where Ovechkin orders all of that room service for him. He had his "Ovechkin!" face on and I wanted to laugh.
"That's absolutely ridiculous. And I told you, there's no reason for you to apologize about what you said." I watched while he gave me an exaggerated eye roll and tried not to appear angry.
"Except there is a reason, I saw how upset you looked and while you might be okay with people treating you like shit sometimes, I am not okay with that."
I wanted to hit him. Seriously, I did. I couldn't even think of something to say in response to that and settled for glaring at him. So he meant well but he wasn't exactly good at explaining himself.
Sidney rubbed a hand over his face looking like he was exhausted. "Look, I don't want to fight with you. I just wanted to apologize because I was in the wrong."
I softened at that and realized that I couldn't stay mad at him when he obviously didn't mean to hurt me. Besides, in a strange way, this was Sidney being noble all over again and trying to be a good friend. One of us had to concede and I had a feeling that it would be me. That it should be me.
"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry for being such a bitch about this. You know my family makes me crazy." I walked around to the front of my desk where he was sitting and leaned back against the desk. There shouldn't be a barrier between us mentally of physically if we were going to get past this. "We really bring out the worst in each other sometimes, don't we?" I said finally smiling at him. He looked at me for another second as if he was making sure that this wasn't a test and relaxed.
"So we're good?" He asked getting up from his chair to tower in front of him. He was close again and I had to remind my brain not to shut off.
I nodded and smiled back at him wondering why the world suddenly felt so much lighter on my shoulders. Then again, his smile had always done this to me.
"Good. I don't think I could handle going on the road tomorrow knowing that you were pissed at me." I laughed and he pulled me closer to him for a hug making me feel ten different types of gooey female. We didn't usually hug so he must have really felt bad. Especially with our weird moments last night, I was surprised he even wanted to touch me.
"I like your sweater by the way" he joked.
"Hey smartass, leave my sweater alone" I pulled back slightly to examine the dancing snowman sweater I had on. Yes, it was ridiculous, but it was also comfortable and full of holiday cheer. I looked back up to defend my sweater again and realized how close Sidney's head was to mine. His head was bent down to look at my sweater too and our eyes met. It was as if the moment in the coat room last night was repeating itself and neither of us was moving away. His hands that had rested on my hips from our brief hug tightened and I wasn't sure if he was pulling me closer or if I was moving closer on my own.
How could we just go from fighting, to friendship, to a moment that I wasn't ready to put a label on yet? Lately we had been bouncing around so much that I was no longer sure that we were on sturdy ground. And yet, I couldn't look away from him. There was something to be said for brown eyes but Sidney's were in a league of their own. They weren't quite brown but more of a soft gold color and I knew that I wouldn't be able to get that color out of my brain for the rest of the day. Our faces were now less than an inch away from each other's and if I was brave enough to lean up slightly, our mouths would collide.
Sidney's POV:
When I took a chance that morning and decided to head up to her office to see if she was there, I wasn't all that surprised when I did find her in her office. I was surprised to find her hunched over her desk giggling like a little girl. Her hair was still curly and piled on top of her head and she was wearing a ridiculous christmas sweater and yet she was still the prettiest thing I had seen all morning. Granted I had been sweating behind a weight machine all morning but still. Why was she always acting like she wasn't beautiful when even without makeup and a christmas sweater she could suddenly make my body tighten and go on high-alert?
Now we were standing there in her office and I could feel the swell of her breasts against my chest while her green eyes stared at me in confusion and what looked like caution. She looked more unsure than I was used to seeing her. I liked seeing her look so sure of herself in everything that she did. It was one of the things that drew me to her as a friend and now drew me to her as a woman. A woman that had been distracting me and driving me crazy lately. But now with our bodies so close, I was enjoying the feeling of being the one to throw her off. I was used to girls throwing themselves at me and being so blantantly obvious that Emma was a breath of fresh air. A breath of fresh air that I had the urge to push back on her desk and figure out exactly what she had on under that snowman sweater of hers.
"Can we just try something?" I asked sliding my hand up to the smooth column of her throat. Wasn't it time we figured this out instead of dancing around it anymore? I wasn't the aggressive type with girls but Emma made me act crazy anyway. Maybe being aggressive would finally get me somewhere outside of the hockey arena and I couldn't shake the feeling that Emma was going to be important somehow.
She didn't do anything but continue to stare at me, her lips parted slightly as she breathed in and out and I took it as a silent 'yes.'
Our lips met halfway and I wanted to smile. So it wasn't just me that was trying to figure this out. Her lips were soft and I could see the shock in her eyes before they finally closed and she swayed against me. She hadn't even put her arms around me but I could feel her lips giving in to mine as I slowly tasted her, feeling an electric current run between us.
"Wait" she breathed pulling away slightly to put a hand on my chest. Waiting could hold off for a little bit longer. I was too interested in trying to figure out exactly what kind of lip gloss she had on. I captured her lips again and had successfully distracted her again before she pulled back and pushed me away harder this time.
"Sidney, we can't." There was an annoying 6 inches between us now as she panted and stared at me in confusion. Why couldn't we ? "Why did you do that?" she asked.
"I don't know" I said instantly regretting the words after they came out of my mouth. I seemed to do that a lot around her actually- speaking without thinking and she stiffened looking less warm and soft than she had seconds ago.
"I see" she replied taking a full step aside to put the desk between us. "Look, I really need to finish some things here and I'm sure that you have stuff to do."
There she went again, pushing me aside so quickly without us even talking about anything. Why did I have to be the one that actually wanted to talk things through with her? Shouldn't it be the other way around?
"Em, don't you think that we should talk about what just happened?" I asked wanting to shake her in frustration.
"We can't talk about it Sidney" she looked every bit as frustrated as I was and because she wouldn't talk to me about it, I didn't understand why. I got it, she was probably confused. But how were we supposed to figure this out if we didn't at least talk about it? It was like any problem we had on the team. When we couldn't figure out why we weren't winning or why we weren't scoring goals, the team talked about it and figured out a new strategy. Instead Emma was adopting the 'if we don't talk about it, then it never happened' mentality and it bugged the hell out of me.
I was about to just leave and give her time to come around and realize that we had to figure this out when she stopped me from leaving.
"Sidney wait." I turned to look at her while she chewed on her bottom lip nervously. I stared at her thinking that I would like to do the same thing to her lips. "I'm not mad, I'm just really confused right now."
I nodded noticing how nervous she seemed to be right now. "Okay- just give me a call whenever you're ready." I could be patient if I had to be for her. I didn't want to, but I knew that I could.
Now how the hell was I going to play this week out on the road when my head was stuck here with her?
Emma's POV:
After the banquet and whirlwind of emotions of the whole previous evening, the last thing I wanted to do the next morning was get up and go to work. Yes, on a Saturday morning, I was forced to go into work and clear press releases from the previous night. After the way my night had ended, spending more time in a building that reeked of Sidney Crosby was the last thing I wanted to do. His face was literally everywhere in Mellon Arena and I didn't need a reminder of the person who had made me cry buckets last night while I struggled to drive home.
Luckily I had an excuse not to stay for too long this morning because I was meeting Vero and Eliza for lunch. If I had a time constraint, then I wouldn't find other things to work on and end up wasting an entire Saturday at the office.
I showered quickly and put on a pair of jeans and one of my favorite Christmas sweaters. Instead of dealing with my hair, I twisted the still-curly tendrils up into a loose bun and decided to ignore makeup for the day. It was amazing how free my pores felt without makeup, especially since I had caked on so much makeup the night before.
After eating some cereal and finishing a cup of coffee, I almost felt human again. Christmas carols were playing in my car and I sang along feeling the horrible memories of the previous night start to float away. In all actuality, last night hadn't been that horrible. The event seemed to go over really well, big name players in the league were interested in helping out and everyone seemed to have had a great time. The only reason I was even feeling so melancholy was because of my fight with Sidney and because he seemed to know me better than myself. Which was frankly, just more than a bit scary. I didn't know anyone that actually liked having someone call them out but it was my pride that prevented me from accepting offers to spend the holidays with anyone else. Did I really want to spend the holidays alone at my house when I could be spending it with friends or with the Lemieuxs? Or with Sidney? Not really. Any of these options was truthfully so much better than spending the holidays alone with a bottle of wine and Joni Mitchell's "River" playing on repeat.
Still, it hurt that he had been the one to say those things to me. I had confided in him a lot over the past two years and so he knew not to press my buttons when it came to my family. He may not agree with the type of family that I had but that still didn't mean that he could judge me on how I dealt with them. Or how I spent my holidays. Besides, I still didn't understand what he thought inviting me would accomplish. If anything, it would just make things awkward for him and his girlfriend who he mysteriously refused to invite with him to Nova Scotia. Why didn't he just break up with her if the idea of spending a holiday with her made him look like he was going to puke? Plus, why was he willing to let me meet his cherished family
I was still feeling annoyed and grumbly about this when I walked into the darkened offices switching on lights as I walked down the hallway. 8:30am on a Saturday- I must be absolutely crazy to be here working after putting in 80 plus hours during the work week.
I'm here on a Saturday doing more work and I refused Sidney Crosby's offer to go home with him for Christmas. I truly was the most insane girl in Pittsburgh. The hillarity of the situation caught up with me and combined with the fact that I thought that I was completely alone, I let the giggles loose and laughed feeling instantly less stressed out. There was something to be said for belly laughs when something was just going horribly wrong in your life.
"Em? Are you okay?" I screamed and spun around ready to defend myself.
"Whoa, whoa, calm down. I'm sorry I scared you again." It was Sidney and he was pulling me closer to him to rest his hands on my shoulders and make my heart speed up again. Did he have to be gorgeous all of the time? Even in his workout gear with his sweaty hair pushed back in a penguins hat he looked like he stepped out of a fitness magazine.
"What are you doing here?" I asked taking a step back from him. Being close to him prevented me from thinking clearly sometimes and right now I had to have a clear head so that I could yell at him for scaring the shit out of me. Could just anyone walk into these offices? Did Mario realize how unsafe that was?
"I know you're Sidney Crosby and everything but do you just have access to the entire Mellon arena?"
He smirked at me and took a seat in the chair facing my desk looking too masculine for the room. "I was working out and had a hunch that you'd be here. You're the only one that's ever here at the arena as much as I am."
I blinked at him realizing that he had a point. "Well in any case, what do you need? I have some things that I need to work on." Maybe he would take the hint that I didn't feel like talking to him just yet. He would just push me some more about my holiday plans and even though I knew he was right, my pride did get in the way of happiness sometimes, I wasn't ready to admit that to him.
"I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. You know, after last night." I was leaning forward and fiddling with a figurine on my desk. He always needed to keep his hands busy when he was nervous and I was secretly happy that he felt nervous about this. The female in me wanted to make him squirm for a little bit.
"What about last night?" I asked playing dumb. "You know, I think the event was really a success. Thanks for talking to the press so much for me." He looked absolutely perplexed why I wasn't bringing up our fight last night. Knowing him, he probably wanted to talk about it. Sidney was a rare breed of male that was okay with talking about feelings most of the time because of his Mom and little sister.
"You know that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about what we talked about last night. I know that what I said maybe wasn't the best-" He stopped when I held up a hand to cut him off.
"Sidney, just let it go. I know you meant well and you don't have to feel bad." He was making me feel like a charity case again and considering charity was my line of business, I had enough of that in my life.
"Why won't you ever just let me apologize to you?" He asked dropping the figurine back on my desk. "You always do this!" He looked frustrated and a little like he did in the hockey roadtrip commericial he had done where Ovechkin orders all of that room service for him. He had his "Ovechkin!" face on and I wanted to laugh.
"That's absolutely ridiculous. And I told you, there's no reason for you to apologize about what you said." I watched while he gave me an exaggerated eye roll and tried not to appear angry.
"Except there is a reason, I saw how upset you looked and while you might be okay with people treating you like shit sometimes, I am not okay with that."
I wanted to hit him. Seriously, I did. I couldn't even think of something to say in response to that and settled for glaring at him. So he meant well but he wasn't exactly good at explaining himself.
Sidney rubbed a hand over his face looking like he was exhausted. "Look, I don't want to fight with you. I just wanted to apologize because I was in the wrong."
I softened at that and realized that I couldn't stay mad at him when he obviously didn't mean to hurt me. Besides, in a strange way, this was Sidney being noble all over again and trying to be a good friend. One of us had to concede and I had a feeling that it would be me. That it should be me.
"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry for being such a bitch about this. You know my family makes me crazy." I walked around to the front of my desk where he was sitting and leaned back against the desk. There shouldn't be a barrier between us mentally of physically if we were going to get past this. "We really bring out the worst in each other sometimes, don't we?" I said finally smiling at him. He looked at me for another second as if he was making sure that this wasn't a test and relaxed.
"So we're good?" He asked getting up from his chair to tower in front of him. He was close again and I had to remind my brain not to shut off.
I nodded and smiled back at him wondering why the world suddenly felt so much lighter on my shoulders. Then again, his smile had always done this to me.
"Good. I don't think I could handle going on the road tomorrow knowing that you were pissed at me." I laughed and he pulled me closer to him for a hug making me feel ten different types of gooey female. We didn't usually hug so he must have really felt bad. Especially with our weird moments last night, I was surprised he even wanted to touch me.
"I like your sweater by the way" he joked.
"Hey smartass, leave my sweater alone" I pulled back slightly to examine the dancing snowman sweater I had on. Yes, it was ridiculous, but it was also comfortable and full of holiday cheer. I looked back up to defend my sweater again and realized how close Sidney's head was to mine. His head was bent down to look at my sweater too and our eyes met. It was as if the moment in the coat room last night was repeating itself and neither of us was moving away. His hands that had rested on my hips from our brief hug tightened and I wasn't sure if he was pulling me closer or if I was moving closer on my own.
How could we just go from fighting, to friendship, to a moment that I wasn't ready to put a label on yet? Lately we had been bouncing around so much that I was no longer sure that we were on sturdy ground. And yet, I couldn't look away from him. There was something to be said for brown eyes but Sidney's were in a league of their own. They weren't quite brown but more of a soft gold color and I knew that I wouldn't be able to get that color out of my brain for the rest of the day. Our faces were now less than an inch away from each other's and if I was brave enough to lean up slightly, our mouths would collide.
Sidney's POV:
When I took a chance that morning and decided to head up to her office to see if she was there, I wasn't all that surprised when I did find her in her office. I was surprised to find her hunched over her desk giggling like a little girl. Her hair was still curly and piled on top of her head and she was wearing a ridiculous christmas sweater and yet she was still the prettiest thing I had seen all morning. Granted I had been sweating behind a weight machine all morning but still. Why was she always acting like she wasn't beautiful when even without makeup and a christmas sweater she could suddenly make my body tighten and go on high-alert?
Now we were standing there in her office and I could feel the swell of her breasts against my chest while her green eyes stared at me in confusion and what looked like caution. She looked more unsure than I was used to seeing her. I liked seeing her look so sure of herself in everything that she did. It was one of the things that drew me to her as a friend and now drew me to her as a woman. A woman that had been distracting me and driving me crazy lately. But now with our bodies so close, I was enjoying the feeling of being the one to throw her off. I was used to girls throwing themselves at me and being so blantantly obvious that Emma was a breath of fresh air. A breath of fresh air that I had the urge to push back on her desk and figure out exactly what she had on under that snowman sweater of hers.
"Can we just try something?" I asked sliding my hand up to the smooth column of her throat. Wasn't it time we figured this out instead of dancing around it anymore? I wasn't the aggressive type with girls but Emma made me act crazy anyway. Maybe being aggressive would finally get me somewhere outside of the hockey arena and I couldn't shake the feeling that Emma was going to be important somehow.
She didn't do anything but continue to stare at me, her lips parted slightly as she breathed in and out and I took it as a silent 'yes.'
Our lips met halfway and I wanted to smile. So it wasn't just me that was trying to figure this out. Her lips were soft and I could see the shock in her eyes before they finally closed and she swayed against me. She hadn't even put her arms around me but I could feel her lips giving in to mine as I slowly tasted her, feeling an electric current run between us.
"Wait" she breathed pulling away slightly to put a hand on my chest. Waiting could hold off for a little bit longer. I was too interested in trying to figure out exactly what kind of lip gloss she had on. I captured her lips again and had successfully distracted her again before she pulled back and pushed me away harder this time.
"Sidney, we can't." There was an annoying 6 inches between us now as she panted and stared at me in confusion. Why couldn't we ? "Why did you do that?" she asked.
"I don't know" I said instantly regretting the words after they came out of my mouth. I seemed to do that a lot around her actually- speaking without thinking and she stiffened looking less warm and soft than she had seconds ago.
"I see" she replied taking a full step aside to put the desk between us. "Look, I really need to finish some things here and I'm sure that you have stuff to do."
There she went again, pushing me aside so quickly without us even talking about anything. Why did I have to be the one that actually wanted to talk things through with her? Shouldn't it be the other way around?
"Em, don't you think that we should talk about what just happened?" I asked wanting to shake her in frustration.
"We can't talk about it Sidney" she looked every bit as frustrated as I was and because she wouldn't talk to me about it, I didn't understand why. I got it, she was probably confused. But how were we supposed to figure this out if we didn't at least talk about it? It was like any problem we had on the team. When we couldn't figure out why we weren't winning or why we weren't scoring goals, the team talked about it and figured out a new strategy. Instead Emma was adopting the 'if we don't talk about it, then it never happened' mentality and it bugged the hell out of me.
I was about to just leave and give her time to come around and realize that we had to figure this out when she stopped me from leaving.
"Sidney wait." I turned to look at her while she chewed on her bottom lip nervously. I stared at her thinking that I would like to do the same thing to her lips. "I'm not mad, I'm just really confused right now."
I nodded noticing how nervous she seemed to be right now. "Okay- just give me a call whenever you're ready." I could be patient if I had to be for her. I didn't want to, but I knew that I could.
Now how the hell was I going to play this week out on the road when my head was stuck here with her?
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Chapter 16
Ahhh. So I'm sorry about not updating a lot this week (or at all). I had a crazy week work-wise but now I have a week off for fall break and plan on writing a lot during that time- hopefully, if all goes accordingly. Thanks guys!
Sid's POV:
I was an ass for letting her drive off when she looked like that but I couldn't help it. What I said had burst out of my mouth so quickly that I didn't have the chance to process how mean it actually sounded. I knew better than to talk about her relationship with her family like that and yet I was still an idiot that made her look like she was going to cry. Especially since my intention that evening was to actually help her out and make sure that she went home and got some sleep now that the event was over. Getting Christine out of the way had been tricky because she thought that she was staying with me and had left all of her things over at my house. Even if I made up some excuse about why she couldn't be there, she would still be there when I got back so I dropped her off not really caring if she was there or took it upon herself to go back to her apartment for once. At least I had never given her a key.
When I got back to the banquest, mostly everyone had left and I passed Mario and Nathalie leaving on my way back up.
"I thought I saw you leave with Christine awhile ago?" Mario questioned.
"I forgot something here" I said trying to think of something that I could have left. It wasn't like I had a purse or something easy that a woman would leave behind.
Mario bought it and left Nathalie with me while he got the car.
"Sidney, what are you doing?" she asked eyeing me. It was a loaded question and I knew that after she had walked in on my whatever with Emma earlier, she was suspicious of something going on. And judging from the way she was looking at me, she didn't look very happy towards me either.
"Nothing" I said playing dumb. She gave me another look and we both stood there silently. I didn't know why I was still there with her but somehow it seemed like I was supposed to be.
Mario pulled up outside and signalled to her to go outside. "Just be careful and don't screw up. She's important, Sidney." She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and left me standing there staring after her.
How did she know that anything was actually going on between Emma and I? Did other people know?
"Hey man, I thought you went home?" Staalsy asked stopping with his date on their way out. I mumbled something else about how I forgot something and he clapped me on the back before yelling to everyone nearby that they were going out for drinks. That was easy.
I grabbed the next elevator and pulled my phone out when I felt it buzzing against my side. Christine was calling me which meant that she was probably still at my house and wondering where I was. I knew that I needed to actually do something about her soon. I wasn't sure what was happening between Emma and I but regardless, I couldn't be with Christine anymore. Especially since she was pressuring me into living together and no doubt marriage soon after that. The idea of being married to her and having to deal with her for the rest of my life was terrifying and the thought alone was enough to make me want to end it sooner. How could someone possibly want to get married after only dating for four months? It was ludicrous.
I walked back into the banquet room and spotted Emma immediately. She was pretty hard to miss in that little dress of hers and was leaning over a table in her bare feet while she helped clear tables. I had to force myself to keep my eyes on the back of her head instead of letting my eyes wander like they wanted to. Focus, Sid.
She yelped and nearly fell backward when she realized that I was standing behind her trying to get her attention.
"Jesus, Sidney! Why do you creep up on me like that still?"
Because I know I like you more than any other girl I know and the girl I'm actually dating.
From there the rest of the night went down hill. First she was annoyed that I kept trying to get her to go home and then she seemed annoyed that I was helping her by folding a table cover with her and picking up her shoes. I kept brushing it off knowing that she was tired and when she was tired she got cranky, no matter how nicely you treated her. It was just one of those traits I had gotten used to over the years of being her friend.
Besides, it was the holidays. As much as she claimed to love them, I knew that her family didn't do jackshit to make sure that she had someone to spend Christmas with and it pissed me off to no end. Why did she always refuse everyone's offers for dinner when she was just going to spend the day alone? It didn't make any sense to me. Spending the day with someone else's family was at least better than spending it alone, right? I wanted to see how receptive she would be to spending the holidays in Nova Scotia with me but was almost afraid to ask. This girl made me do and say stupid things and I knew that I would screw up even asking her if I didn't tread carefully.
I helped her clean up some more and when she finally figured out that I wasn't leaving until she did, we gathered up our stuff and got ready to leave. I hated that she always looked so surprised when someone did something to help her out. More importantly I hated that she looked that way around me- almost like it surprised her everytime that someone else would remember a detail for her or more annoyingly, about her.
She wasn't used to being taken care of in any form and knowing this made me extra cautious in even bringing up the topic of the holidays. I wasn't quite sure why all of the sudden I felt such a strong need to make sure that she was taken care of but I did. This was also something that I definitely didn't even want to think about right now either.
We were both silent in the elevator and I just wanted to get out into the fresh air. Elevators made me feel clausterphobic and it was worse with her because I could smell the light perfume she had on and it was quickly becoming the only thing I could think about while standing in a small, enclosed space with her. It made me want to do something crazy like kiss her which would of course ruin everything simple and platonic between us. For as interesting as tonight had been, I knew that there were still boundaries between us and now wasn't the time to start crossing them. Even though I was pointedly trying to ignore what her perfume was doing to me and the way her elbow kept innocently brushing up against my side.
"So, what are you doing for the holidays?" I asked suddenly getting a raging bout of word vomit. Seriously, I had so much control over everything else in my life- why was she suddenly making me feel like a nervous pre-teen?
Of course she got defensive and tried to brush off any notion of spending the holidays with me and my family. I knew that she didn't mean to be rude by saying 'no' repeatedly but part of me wanted to throttle her for being so stubborn and then push her back against her car and kiss her for the exact same reason. Even though we were yelling at each other, I knew she was hurting just because we were talking about her useless family. That's when I should have stopped. I knew better than to continue but something about the way that she just refused to even think about this pissed me off.
And that's when I opened my mouth. "You know, I was just trying to be nice and show you a nice time with my family. I hate that your family treats you like shit and ignores you all of the time so I wanted to help you forget about for a few days but it's obvious that you would rather just sit alone at Christmas instead of getting over your damn pride."
Automatically she looked as if I had slapped her. Quickly she tried to cover it up by looking anywhere but me but I knew that what I had said was just wrong. Trying to apologize didn't work. She wouldn't even look me in the eye.
"I'm going home. Thanks for helping out tonight."
I opened my mouth trying to think of the right thing to say to make her stay and came up with nothing. Instead I stood there mentally kicking my own ass as she drove away knowing that I had everything to do with the tears that were threatening to fall out of her eyes.
Sid's POV:
I was an ass for letting her drive off when she looked like that but I couldn't help it. What I said had burst out of my mouth so quickly that I didn't have the chance to process how mean it actually sounded. I knew better than to talk about her relationship with her family like that and yet I was still an idiot that made her look like she was going to cry. Especially since my intention that evening was to actually help her out and make sure that she went home and got some sleep now that the event was over. Getting Christine out of the way had been tricky because she thought that she was staying with me and had left all of her things over at my house. Even if I made up some excuse about why she couldn't be there, she would still be there when I got back so I dropped her off not really caring if she was there or took it upon herself to go back to her apartment for once. At least I had never given her a key.
When I got back to the banquest, mostly everyone had left and I passed Mario and Nathalie leaving on my way back up.
"I thought I saw you leave with Christine awhile ago?" Mario questioned.
"I forgot something here" I said trying to think of something that I could have left. It wasn't like I had a purse or something easy that a woman would leave behind.
Mario bought it and left Nathalie with me while he got the car.
"Sidney, what are you doing?" she asked eyeing me. It was a loaded question and I knew that after she had walked in on my whatever with Emma earlier, she was suspicious of something going on. And judging from the way she was looking at me, she didn't look very happy towards me either.
"Nothing" I said playing dumb. She gave me another look and we both stood there silently. I didn't know why I was still there with her but somehow it seemed like I was supposed to be.
Mario pulled up outside and signalled to her to go outside. "Just be careful and don't screw up. She's important, Sidney." She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and left me standing there staring after her.
How did she know that anything was actually going on between Emma and I? Did other people know?
"Hey man, I thought you went home?" Staalsy asked stopping with his date on their way out. I mumbled something else about how I forgot something and he clapped me on the back before yelling to everyone nearby that they were going out for drinks. That was easy.
I grabbed the next elevator and pulled my phone out when I felt it buzzing against my side. Christine was calling me which meant that she was probably still at my house and wondering where I was. I knew that I needed to actually do something about her soon. I wasn't sure what was happening between Emma and I but regardless, I couldn't be with Christine anymore. Especially since she was pressuring me into living together and no doubt marriage soon after that. The idea of being married to her and having to deal with her for the rest of my life was terrifying and the thought alone was enough to make me want to end it sooner. How could someone possibly want to get married after only dating for four months? It was ludicrous.
I walked back into the banquet room and spotted Emma immediately. She was pretty hard to miss in that little dress of hers and was leaning over a table in her bare feet while she helped clear tables. I had to force myself to keep my eyes on the back of her head instead of letting my eyes wander like they wanted to. Focus, Sid.
She yelped and nearly fell backward when she realized that I was standing behind her trying to get her attention.
"Jesus, Sidney! Why do you creep up on me like that still?"
Because I know I like you more than any other girl I know and the girl I'm actually dating.
From there the rest of the night went down hill. First she was annoyed that I kept trying to get her to go home and then she seemed annoyed that I was helping her by folding a table cover with her and picking up her shoes. I kept brushing it off knowing that she was tired and when she was tired she got cranky, no matter how nicely you treated her. It was just one of those traits I had gotten used to over the years of being her friend.
Besides, it was the holidays. As much as she claimed to love them, I knew that her family didn't do jackshit to make sure that she had someone to spend Christmas with and it pissed me off to no end. Why did she always refuse everyone's offers for dinner when she was just going to spend the day alone? It didn't make any sense to me. Spending the day with someone else's family was at least better than spending it alone, right? I wanted to see how receptive she would be to spending the holidays in Nova Scotia with me but was almost afraid to ask. This girl made me do and say stupid things and I knew that I would screw up even asking her if I didn't tread carefully.
I helped her clean up some more and when she finally figured out that I wasn't leaving until she did, we gathered up our stuff and got ready to leave. I hated that she always looked so surprised when someone did something to help her out. More importantly I hated that she looked that way around me- almost like it surprised her everytime that someone else would remember a detail for her or more annoyingly, about her.
She wasn't used to being taken care of in any form and knowing this made me extra cautious in even bringing up the topic of the holidays. I wasn't quite sure why all of the sudden I felt such a strong need to make sure that she was taken care of but I did. This was also something that I definitely didn't even want to think about right now either.
We were both silent in the elevator and I just wanted to get out into the fresh air. Elevators made me feel clausterphobic and it was worse with her because I could smell the light perfume she had on and it was quickly becoming the only thing I could think about while standing in a small, enclosed space with her. It made me want to do something crazy like kiss her which would of course ruin everything simple and platonic between us. For as interesting as tonight had been, I knew that there were still boundaries between us and now wasn't the time to start crossing them. Even though I was pointedly trying to ignore what her perfume was doing to me and the way her elbow kept innocently brushing up against my side.
"So, what are you doing for the holidays?" I asked suddenly getting a raging bout of word vomit. Seriously, I had so much control over everything else in my life- why was she suddenly making me feel like a nervous pre-teen?
Of course she got defensive and tried to brush off any notion of spending the holidays with me and my family. I knew that she didn't mean to be rude by saying 'no' repeatedly but part of me wanted to throttle her for being so stubborn and then push her back against her car and kiss her for the exact same reason. Even though we were yelling at each other, I knew she was hurting just because we were talking about her useless family. That's when I should have stopped. I knew better than to continue but something about the way that she just refused to even think about this pissed me off.
And that's when I opened my mouth. "You know, I was just trying to be nice and show you a nice time with my family. I hate that your family treats you like shit and ignores you all of the time so I wanted to help you forget about for a few days but it's obvious that you would rather just sit alone at Christmas instead of getting over your damn pride."
Automatically she looked as if I had slapped her. Quickly she tried to cover it up by looking anywhere but me but I knew that what I had said was just wrong. Trying to apologize didn't work. She wouldn't even look me in the eye.
"I'm going home. Thanks for helping out tonight."
I opened my mouth trying to think of the right thing to say to make her stay and came up with nothing. Instead I stood there mentally kicking my own ass as she drove away knowing that I had everything to do with the tears that were threatening to fall out of her eyes.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Chapter 15
This one's short because I've had no time to relax and write lately. Also, since when did blogger get rid of spell check? There are probably a million stupid errors in here so just ignore them :D
Emma's POV:
It was a miracle that I made it through the rest of the event after the incident in the hallway with Sidney. Every time I stepped up to the mike to introduce a speaker or make an announcement, I had to practically force myself not to look at him and start babbling incoherently. Seriously, what was that? When I had started to fix his tie for him, I hadn't realized how close we were until he had voluntarily put his hands on my hips and pulled me closer. At least I think he was the one to pull me closer. Part of me still wondered if my body had acted on its own accord and pressed itself against him despite my brain knowing better.
Now the event was over and everyone was starting to leave the crowded room and head downstairs to where the valet was. Besides the weird incident with Sidney in the hallway, the night had turned out to be a big success and it really looked like the program was going to start spreading to other teams. Ovechkin for one had seemed very interested but I wasn't sure if that was because he still wanted me to have a "drink" with him or if it was because he was genuinely a good guy. Kris Letang had awkwardly pulled me aside after dinner a few hours ago and while we were dancing, told me to be careful because Ovechkin had a weird thing for redheads. After being warned, I managed to stay away from him for the rest of the night and tried to ignore the feeling of what I thought were Sidney's eyes on me.
"Hey, are you coming with us for drinks?" Vero asked pausing next to me while Marc helped her into her coat. I shook my head 'no' and made up something about needing to stay here for clean up. They offered to help of course but it was so much easier if everyone just went home and I could pick up everything that I needed and go home and relax by myself. The combination of couples plus me and some of the still single guys was starting to get tedious. Usually even the single guys had a flavor of the week so really it was just me who was the odd-woman out.
"If you change your mind, give me a call and I'll let you know which bar we're at, okay?"
I nodded and she gave me a quick hug before pulling Marc away with her. I talked to a few more people on their way out and eventually just decided to stand near the doorway so that I could make sure that I thanked everyone important as they left. It was already 11:30 and I figured if I could be out of here in an hour and home by 1am if I really scared the staff into moving fast. I didn't have to stay for the entire clean up but I felt like it was my responsibility to make sure that even this part of the evening went smoothly.
"Want me to stay and help?" I turned and saw Nathalie standing behind me. She started to help me pull the tablecloth off of the table I was stripping but I stopped her.
"No, don't worry about it. Get home for the kids. I'm just staying because I have some extra energy to burn off." That part was definitely a lie because my energy level was negative 5 but I would rather be here by myself with the staff than make her or Mario help out. She looked skeptical and opened her mouth to speak but I silenced her and stepped out of my high heels, setting them down on a chair.
"See? I'm even comfortable now. Don't worry about this, I've got it taken care of."
"Fine. But call us if you need anything."
We both knew that I would never call but I still promised that I would and gave her a hug and a kiss goodbye. Finally it looked like everyone was really gone and it was just me, some of the crew and the bartenders working to get the room back in order. Now that it was quiet, I could feel my body unwinding from the long day. With my shoes off and my feet no longer feeling numb, they were currently screaming at me and would need a long, hot soak before they felt usable again. Whoever invented the high heel must have absolutely detested women. Or it was a woman herself that created the heel because we all like to torture ourselves. Just thinking about this pissed me off and I was so distracted that I didn't notice someone standing behind me until I almost rammed into them.
"Jesus, Sidney. Why do you creep up on me like that still?" I breathed out trying to calm my racing heart. Why was he still here? I thought I had seen him slink off with Christine about an hour ago. I had tried not to watch as she tucked her arm through his and rest her head prettily on his shoulder as they left. Even though I was tired, I remembered that part of the night very clearly.
Apparently exhaustion made me petty.
"I thought you could use some help. You're going to run yourself into the ground if you don't leave soon." I rolled my eyes at him for his random display of parenting. One day he was going to make a great Dad just because he already had the obnoxious 'I'm just trying to look out for you' skills all father's possess. Well, maybe except for mine.
"I'm fine" I said turning to face him. "What about you? You guys play tomorrow night and you have Christine to worry about." That was my subtle hint that he should be with her and not standing here torturing me with how good he still looked, even all mussed up in his suit. The gel in his hair had worn out and his curly hair was springing slightly in different directions making me want to touch them and see if they were as soft as they looked.
"I'll be okay but seriously, you should just go home. You look exhausted." Since that sounded like a terrible way of him hinting that I looked like a trainwreck, I felt myself start to really bristle in irritation.
"I will, just as soon as I make sure everything is okay here."
"You're ridiculous. That's what the clean up staff is for. They get paid to do this job meaning you don't have to be here." He punctuated his words like he was the one annoyed with me and I didn't understand why.
I was the one being bullied right now for no reason by him. Why did he care what I did right now anyway?
He had a point but he was irritating me now so I childishly wanted to stay and keep working just to spite him. I couldn't stand having people tell me what to do in situations like this. Part of me was still churned up from earlier so now with him standing in front of me looking gorgeous and irritatingly concerned about my wellfare, I felt anxious and miserably over-tired.
He sighed and broke our stare as he rubbed a hand over his face. "You are the most stubborn person sometimes."
"Oh, you're one to talk, Crosby" I said resisting the urge to smack him. Or at least push him farther away from me.
"Did you ever realize that you only call me 'Crosby' when you're pissed off at me?" He asked changing the subject and looking amused.
"Well you do tend to piss me off sometimes" I said stepping around him to remove another table cloth from a nearby table. I shook it out and started to fold it only to have Sidney pick up the other end to help me fold.
"Yeah, I noticed." He smirked at me and matched my movements as we folded the giant table cloth. He met me halfway in the middle to join the ends together and my stomach fluttered just from being in close proximity with him again.
"So are you done yet?" He asked again looking down at me.
I sighed looking around the room. It did look like everything was under control and I didn't have to be the one to lock the place up- the manager was doing a final walk-through.
"Yeah, I guess so." He nodded and gently took my arm to steer me towards the coat check. He was acting like we had somewhere to be but really he had his car and I had mine. I was obviously just going to go home.
He helped me into my coat without saying anything and I remembered that I still hadn't put my shoes back on.
"Wait, I need my shoes!" I moved to walk back into the room and he blocked my path holding the shoes in question up.
"I saw them on the chair with your purse and grabbed them."
"Thanks" I smiled noting that it was weird to have someone else remember details for me for once. He put the shoes on the floor and I stepped into them, my arches protesting at being put back in the heels and in an uncomfortable position.
"Are you okay?" he asked looking at me worriedly. I bit back a groan as I tried to take a step forward while my feet screamed at me.
"Um, yeah. I just need to get home so I can take off this dress and soak in a hot bath. My feet are killing me." As I said this, Sidney blushed and started to look embarrassed. I didn't think that I said anything...
Instead of replying, he made a weird grunt of acknowledgement and followed me out of the coat room and back into the main hallway for the elevators. We were silent the whole way down and I tried not to notice how he pulled at his tie uncomfortably. I knew he disliked wearing suits and was probably resisting the urge to tear his tie off no matter how expensive it was. It still struck me as odd that he had come back literally to make sure that I got into my car but with Sidney, you never knew what his intentions were. They were almost always noble and I couldn't shake the feeling that he had adopted the Lemieux mentality in looking out for me. I understood Mario and Nathalie's intentions behind it just because they were a second set of parents to me and I never felt like a charity case to them but with Sidney it was different.
I was a grown woman in her mid-twenties. When he looked out for me and did things like this, I felt like a kid and I didn't need him feeling responsible for me. Yes, we had become close friends but he had the viper. He could be at home with her right now instead of leading me out to my car where I'm sure if he thought of it, he would remind me to wear my seatbelt and drive with my hands carefully placed in the 10 and 2 position.
"So, what are you doing for the holidays?" The question caught me off guard and I blinked at him in surprise.
"The holidays?" Why was this topic coming up?
"Yeah, you know, Christmastime. What are your plans?" We were out of the building and heading towards my car now and somehow this all just felt suspicious. I knew Sidney. I knew his facial expressions, I understood the tones of his voice, I knew his mannerisms. I shouldn't be so suspicious of a seemingly polite question and yet I could tell that there was more behind this question than just a casual inquiry.
I chose to keep my response simple and see what he did. "Nothing special, the usual." I knew that the ambiguous answer would bug him.
"Is your family going to be around?" He asked coming to a stop in front of me. We had reached my car finally and I noticed that he had parked next to me.
"I don't know what's going on yet." He didn't really need to know that my Dad hadn't even bothered to call me yet and tell me that we weren't spending another holiday together or that my Mom was cavorting around a resort with her latest boy toy rather than spending the holiday with her daughter. Something about that just didn't say 'holiday cheer' to me and I didn't need to make the situation awkward by telling him this. Then he would feel bad for me.
"Well Nathalie told me that your parents aren't going to be around." He watched me stiffen and I bit my lip to keep from saying anything. How did she know?
"I was thinking that you should just come back to Cole Harbour with me this year. We have three days off which is kind of nice since we usually only have two-" He continued to talk but I tuned him out feeling annoyed and tired. Tired of being in these heels, tired of my family, tired of Sidney playing the father role with me. Just tired.
"Sidney, no" I stopped him mid-sentence watching his face fall and change into something else.
"Why not?" He asked. "You shouldn't be alone during the holidays."
"But I can't go home with you either. Besides, you should be spending that time with your family and Christine. I'm not intruding on that family time just because you feel bad for me."
"Christine is not coming home with me. And me feeling sorry for you is not what this is about."
"Sidney, you're practically living with the girl and you're not taking her home to meet your parents?"
He snorted and let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, because she would just fit in so well with my parents and Taylor."
"Well what makes you think that I will?" As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to smack myself. Instead of looking uncomfortable because of the question, he brushed it off.
"Look, I'm not inviting you for Christmas because I feel bad for you. I just think that you would have fun and my parents have never met you. You'd enjoy being with them more than I think you would if you had to spend the time with your parents." Remarkably, he did have a point but I would still feel like I was intruding if I went. Besides, how would it look if I was there and not Christine. Even though it was by no means cheating, I would feel like we were doing something wrong.
And if the press got ahold of this? Utter disaster.
I loved the holidays but I wasn't going to be anyone's charity case. People who had families should spend that time together- no one needed an extra person around to upset the family dynamic or be awkwardly placed in 'family' photos. I was careful to never accept holiday invites to Thanksgiving dinners or Christmas or even Chaunnakah celebrations for this reason.
"I really appreciate the offer, I do. That's incredibly sweet of you. I just can't accept the offer. I really think it would be a good idea for you to take Christine with you if you guys are moving in that direction." Sidney was now looking like he wanted to throttle me and I didn't know why I was still talking. Obviously this discussion wasn't going anywhere. I wasn't going to accept his offer and he still wasn't explaining exactly why he wouldn't take the woman he was dating home with him for Christmas.
"We're not moving in that direction. I don't even know what direction you're talking about" he said interrupting me. "She's staying here in Pittsburgh with her family and I'm going home. We're not spending the holidays together." Our whirlwind conversation was heading into that territory now. The dreaded conversation about their relationship that I usually avoided at all costs.
"You know, I was just trying to be nice and show you a nice time with my family. I hate that your family treats you like shit and ignores you all of the time so I wanted to help you forget about for a few days but it's obvious that you would rather just sit alone at Christmas instead of getting over your damn pride."
I felt the tears well up in my eyes before I could stop them and he muttered a stream of unpleasant phrases before reaching out to hold my shoulders. "I'm sorry Em, I didn't mean to say that."
"I'm going home. Thanks for helping out tonight." Before he could reach for me again, I walked around the car to the driver's side and got in as quickly as I could. Even though he couldn't see me, I waited until I was three blocks away to let everything that had been pent up inside of me out.
The worst part about what he had said was that he was absolutely, 100% right.
Emma's POV:
It was a miracle that I made it through the rest of the event after the incident in the hallway with Sidney. Every time I stepped up to the mike to introduce a speaker or make an announcement, I had to practically force myself not to look at him and start babbling incoherently. Seriously, what was that? When I had started to fix his tie for him, I hadn't realized how close we were until he had voluntarily put his hands on my hips and pulled me closer. At least I think he was the one to pull me closer. Part of me still wondered if my body had acted on its own accord and pressed itself against him despite my brain knowing better.
Now the event was over and everyone was starting to leave the crowded room and head downstairs to where the valet was. Besides the weird incident with Sidney in the hallway, the night had turned out to be a big success and it really looked like the program was going to start spreading to other teams. Ovechkin for one had seemed very interested but I wasn't sure if that was because he still wanted me to have a "drink" with him or if it was because he was genuinely a good guy. Kris Letang had awkwardly pulled me aside after dinner a few hours ago and while we were dancing, told me to be careful because Ovechkin had a weird thing for redheads. After being warned, I managed to stay away from him for the rest of the night and tried to ignore the feeling of what I thought were Sidney's eyes on me.
"Hey, are you coming with us for drinks?" Vero asked pausing next to me while Marc helped her into her coat. I shook my head 'no' and made up something about needing to stay here for clean up. They offered to help of course but it was so much easier if everyone just went home and I could pick up everything that I needed and go home and relax by myself. The combination of couples plus me and some of the still single guys was starting to get tedious. Usually even the single guys had a flavor of the week so really it was just me who was the odd-woman out.
"If you change your mind, give me a call and I'll let you know which bar we're at, okay?"
I nodded and she gave me a quick hug before pulling Marc away with her. I talked to a few more people on their way out and eventually just decided to stand near the doorway so that I could make sure that I thanked everyone important as they left. It was already 11:30 and I figured if I could be out of here in an hour and home by 1am if I really scared the staff into moving fast. I didn't have to stay for the entire clean up but I felt like it was my responsibility to make sure that even this part of the evening went smoothly.
"Want me to stay and help?" I turned and saw Nathalie standing behind me. She started to help me pull the tablecloth off of the table I was stripping but I stopped her.
"No, don't worry about it. Get home for the kids. I'm just staying because I have some extra energy to burn off." That part was definitely a lie because my energy level was negative 5 but I would rather be here by myself with the staff than make her or Mario help out. She looked skeptical and opened her mouth to speak but I silenced her and stepped out of my high heels, setting them down on a chair.
"See? I'm even comfortable now. Don't worry about this, I've got it taken care of."
"Fine. But call us if you need anything."
We both knew that I would never call but I still promised that I would and gave her a hug and a kiss goodbye. Finally it looked like everyone was really gone and it was just me, some of the crew and the bartenders working to get the room back in order. Now that it was quiet, I could feel my body unwinding from the long day. With my shoes off and my feet no longer feeling numb, they were currently screaming at me and would need a long, hot soak before they felt usable again. Whoever invented the high heel must have absolutely detested women. Or it was a woman herself that created the heel because we all like to torture ourselves. Just thinking about this pissed me off and I was so distracted that I didn't notice someone standing behind me until I almost rammed into them.
"Jesus, Sidney. Why do you creep up on me like that still?" I breathed out trying to calm my racing heart. Why was he still here? I thought I had seen him slink off with Christine about an hour ago. I had tried not to watch as she tucked her arm through his and rest her head prettily on his shoulder as they left. Even though I was tired, I remembered that part of the night very clearly.
Apparently exhaustion made me petty.
"I thought you could use some help. You're going to run yourself into the ground if you don't leave soon." I rolled my eyes at him for his random display of parenting. One day he was going to make a great Dad just because he already had the obnoxious 'I'm just trying to look out for you' skills all father's possess. Well, maybe except for mine.
"I'm fine" I said turning to face him. "What about you? You guys play tomorrow night and you have Christine to worry about." That was my subtle hint that he should be with her and not standing here torturing me with how good he still looked, even all mussed up in his suit. The gel in his hair had worn out and his curly hair was springing slightly in different directions making me want to touch them and see if they were as soft as they looked.
"I'll be okay but seriously, you should just go home. You look exhausted." Since that sounded like a terrible way of him hinting that I looked like a trainwreck, I felt myself start to really bristle in irritation.
"I will, just as soon as I make sure everything is okay here."
"You're ridiculous. That's what the clean up staff is for. They get paid to do this job meaning you don't have to be here." He punctuated his words like he was the one annoyed with me and I didn't understand why.
I was the one being bullied right now for no reason by him. Why did he care what I did right now anyway?
He had a point but he was irritating me now so I childishly wanted to stay and keep working just to spite him. I couldn't stand having people tell me what to do in situations like this. Part of me was still churned up from earlier so now with him standing in front of me looking gorgeous and irritatingly concerned about my wellfare, I felt anxious and miserably over-tired.
He sighed and broke our stare as he rubbed a hand over his face. "You are the most stubborn person sometimes."
"Oh, you're one to talk, Crosby" I said resisting the urge to smack him. Or at least push him farther away from me.
"Did you ever realize that you only call me 'Crosby' when you're pissed off at me?" He asked changing the subject and looking amused.
"Well you do tend to piss me off sometimes" I said stepping around him to remove another table cloth from a nearby table. I shook it out and started to fold it only to have Sidney pick up the other end to help me fold.
"Yeah, I noticed." He smirked at me and matched my movements as we folded the giant table cloth. He met me halfway in the middle to join the ends together and my stomach fluttered just from being in close proximity with him again.
"So are you done yet?" He asked again looking down at me.
I sighed looking around the room. It did look like everything was under control and I didn't have to be the one to lock the place up- the manager was doing a final walk-through.
"Yeah, I guess so." He nodded and gently took my arm to steer me towards the coat check. He was acting like we had somewhere to be but really he had his car and I had mine. I was obviously just going to go home.
He helped me into my coat without saying anything and I remembered that I still hadn't put my shoes back on.
"Wait, I need my shoes!" I moved to walk back into the room and he blocked my path holding the shoes in question up.
"I saw them on the chair with your purse and grabbed them."
"Thanks" I smiled noting that it was weird to have someone else remember details for me for once. He put the shoes on the floor and I stepped into them, my arches protesting at being put back in the heels and in an uncomfortable position.
"Are you okay?" he asked looking at me worriedly. I bit back a groan as I tried to take a step forward while my feet screamed at me.
"Um, yeah. I just need to get home so I can take off this dress and soak in a hot bath. My feet are killing me." As I said this, Sidney blushed and started to look embarrassed. I didn't think that I said anything...
Instead of replying, he made a weird grunt of acknowledgement and followed me out of the coat room and back into the main hallway for the elevators. We were silent the whole way down and I tried not to notice how he pulled at his tie uncomfortably. I knew he disliked wearing suits and was probably resisting the urge to tear his tie off no matter how expensive it was. It still struck me as odd that he had come back literally to make sure that I got into my car but with Sidney, you never knew what his intentions were. They were almost always noble and I couldn't shake the feeling that he had adopted the Lemieux mentality in looking out for me. I understood Mario and Nathalie's intentions behind it just because they were a second set of parents to me and I never felt like a charity case to them but with Sidney it was different.
I was a grown woman in her mid-twenties. When he looked out for me and did things like this, I felt like a kid and I didn't need him feeling responsible for me. Yes, we had become close friends but he had the viper. He could be at home with her right now instead of leading me out to my car where I'm sure if he thought of it, he would remind me to wear my seatbelt and drive with my hands carefully placed in the 10 and 2 position.
"So, what are you doing for the holidays?" The question caught me off guard and I blinked at him in surprise.
"The holidays?" Why was this topic coming up?
"Yeah, you know, Christmastime. What are your plans?" We were out of the building and heading towards my car now and somehow this all just felt suspicious. I knew Sidney. I knew his facial expressions, I understood the tones of his voice, I knew his mannerisms. I shouldn't be so suspicious of a seemingly polite question and yet I could tell that there was more behind this question than just a casual inquiry.
I chose to keep my response simple and see what he did. "Nothing special, the usual." I knew that the ambiguous answer would bug him.
"Is your family going to be around?" He asked coming to a stop in front of me. We had reached my car finally and I noticed that he had parked next to me.
"I don't know what's going on yet." He didn't really need to know that my Dad hadn't even bothered to call me yet and tell me that we weren't spending another holiday together or that my Mom was cavorting around a resort with her latest boy toy rather than spending the holiday with her daughter. Something about that just didn't say 'holiday cheer' to me and I didn't need to make the situation awkward by telling him this. Then he would feel bad for me.
"Well Nathalie told me that your parents aren't going to be around." He watched me stiffen and I bit my lip to keep from saying anything. How did she know?
"I was thinking that you should just come back to Cole Harbour with me this year. We have three days off which is kind of nice since we usually only have two-" He continued to talk but I tuned him out feeling annoyed and tired. Tired of being in these heels, tired of my family, tired of Sidney playing the father role with me. Just tired.
"Sidney, no" I stopped him mid-sentence watching his face fall and change into something else.
"Why not?" He asked. "You shouldn't be alone during the holidays."
"But I can't go home with you either. Besides, you should be spending that time with your family and Christine. I'm not intruding on that family time just because you feel bad for me."
"Christine is not coming home with me. And me feeling sorry for you is not what this is about."
"Sidney, you're practically living with the girl and you're not taking her home to meet your parents?"
He snorted and let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, because she would just fit in so well with my parents and Taylor."
"Well what makes you think that I will?" As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to smack myself. Instead of looking uncomfortable because of the question, he brushed it off.
"Look, I'm not inviting you for Christmas because I feel bad for you. I just think that you would have fun and my parents have never met you. You'd enjoy being with them more than I think you would if you had to spend the time with your parents." Remarkably, he did have a point but I would still feel like I was intruding if I went. Besides, how would it look if I was there and not Christine. Even though it was by no means cheating, I would feel like we were doing something wrong.
And if the press got ahold of this? Utter disaster.
I loved the holidays but I wasn't going to be anyone's charity case. People who had families should spend that time together- no one needed an extra person around to upset the family dynamic or be awkwardly placed in 'family' photos. I was careful to never accept holiday invites to Thanksgiving dinners or Christmas or even Chaunnakah celebrations for this reason.
"I really appreciate the offer, I do. That's incredibly sweet of you. I just can't accept the offer. I really think it would be a good idea for you to take Christine with you if you guys are moving in that direction." Sidney was now looking like he wanted to throttle me and I didn't know why I was still talking. Obviously this discussion wasn't going anywhere. I wasn't going to accept his offer and he still wasn't explaining exactly why he wouldn't take the woman he was dating home with him for Christmas.
"We're not moving in that direction. I don't even know what direction you're talking about" he said interrupting me. "She's staying here in Pittsburgh with her family and I'm going home. We're not spending the holidays together." Our whirlwind conversation was heading into that territory now. The dreaded conversation about their relationship that I usually avoided at all costs.
"You know, I was just trying to be nice and show you a nice time with my family. I hate that your family treats you like shit and ignores you all of the time so I wanted to help you forget about for a few days but it's obvious that you would rather just sit alone at Christmas instead of getting over your damn pride."
I felt the tears well up in my eyes before I could stop them and he muttered a stream of unpleasant phrases before reaching out to hold my shoulders. "I'm sorry Em, I didn't mean to say that."
"I'm going home. Thanks for helping out tonight." Before he could reach for me again, I walked around the car to the driver's side and got in as quickly as I could. Even though he couldn't see me, I waited until I was three blocks away to let everything that had been pent up inside of me out.
The worst part about what he had said was that he was absolutely, 100% right.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)