Lovely readers,
I've literally been staring at a blank screen for over an hour and half now and can't muster up any inspiration for either of my stories right now. So after watching two hilarious Blackhawks videos over at the Hockey Junkies, I decided to call it a night and write this apology to you guys.
I don't know why but I've had zero inspiration all week to write and it's starting to get annoying. Normally I have all kinds of ideas bouncing around in my head but right now... nada. The weird part is that I really want to write right now- I just can't.
So sorry I am not as awesome as you other writers who whip out a chapter practically every day (ahem Jay ahem) I will dry to get out of this dry spell soon!
Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Chapter 21
Sorry this is so late guys!!! Enjoy and comment please? I really like this chapter. In fact, I giggled frequently as I wrote it. That could also just be the coffee making me that way.
Also, Happy Thanksgiving! I wish you all a very turkey-food-induced coma!
Emma's POV:
I was struggling not to fidget and failing miserably at it. Then again, I always had been a fidgeter in situations that made me uncomfortable. Right now definitely counted as uncomfortable.
"Are you okay?" Sidney asked looking over at me as I tightened the seatbelt on my lap again. I checked it one more time before deciding that it felt secure.
"You know, you can take your seatbelt off. We're already in the air" he gestured to the light above us signalling that we could indeed get up and move around the air craft.
"No, I'm good" I replied willing my body to stay still. In two more hours we would be landing in Hallifax and I wasn't completelely sure how I felt about that now that it was officially happening.
When I told Eliza and Vero about my holiday plans both of them had looked at each other, shaking their heads.
"Vous etes trés, trés stupide." Vero had told me before changing the subject- not even offering me some advice on what to do.
After my moment of girl-power in agreeing to go home with him to Cole Harbour, the feelings of confidence and strength wore off pretty quickly and were replaced by anxiety and feelings of remorse over what I had agreed to.
Then I remembered that I would have to spend time on an airplane.How could I have forgotten that I hate to fly? Years of travelling with or without my parents hadn't conditioned me for flying and I hadn't told Sidney this out of embarrassment. In fact, until this morning, I had completely forgotten about the flying part. Besides, everything was already complicated between us.
"Okay seriously, you're making me nervous with all of your moving." Sidney stated placing a firm and warm hand on my knee. The touch jolted me away from where I was concentrating out the window and back to his face.
"Em?" He asked now looking at me curiously. "Are you okay with flying?"
I tried to give a reassuring yes but it came out more like a squeak as we hit turbulence, the butterflies exploding in my stomach once more.
"Where's your iPod?" He asked chuckling and shaking his head. I gestured to the purse at my feet and he leaned forward to dig around in it for me. "I seriously don't understand what it is with women and huge bags" he grumbled finally pulling out the device.
He smiled at me and popped an ear bud in each of our ears, scrolling around for something that we could listen to. "Music will help" he stated leaning back and looking relaxed and incredibly perfect in his reebok sweater and pens hat. How does he do that?
In fact, he had seemed remarkably relaxed all morning, even when I obviously wasn't. Hell, I was a complete mess and he had been so nice, guiding me through the airport and laughing repeatedly every time he mentioned something about our plans with his family and I forced myself to smile like I was excited. He could see right through my little charade and yet he was as patient as ever and reassuring me that I would have fun.
It actually surprised me how patient he was being considering the roles were usually reversed between us and he was the antsy one who worried and dissected everything.
Truthfully, I knew that I shouldn't be nervous about this. Yes, I was meeting his family but I wasn't meeting them as a girlfriend or lover, I was meeting them as the awkward friend of his that didn't have anywhere else to go for the holidays.
"Put your head back and try to relax" he instructed already closing his eyes in relaxation. I tried to copy him and get comfortable by tucking one of my legs up beneath me and rest my head against the window. This failed however when my movement away from him yanked his earbud out.
"You're still fidgeting" he whispered laughing at me again. The woman across from us gave both of us a dirty look and "shh'ed" us. "Come here" he motioned lifting his arm and sliding it around my shoulders. Before I knew it, my head was resting against the crook between his arm and chest and he settled back against his seat again seemingly oblivious to our cozy position and all of its implications.
Under the weight of his warm arm, I felt my body begin to unwind even though my brain was on high alert just from being in close proximity to him again. i breathed in his scent which was now surrounding me like giant comfort blanket. Did he even realize that he smelled like winter? It was something I had never really noticed until now but he smelled like cold, fresh air on a grey, winter afternoon in January. Without realizing it, I nestled my head in further against his arm finding an even more comforting position against him. I didn't even want to think about what we looked like right now cuddled against each other.
"You're still not relaxing" he mumbled. "I can hear your brain still working."
I tilted my head back slightly to look up at the smooth lines of his face. From this angle I could see the fan of his eyelashes which looked oddly long and feminine when his eyes were closed. I smiled- Sidney Crosby had the eyelashes of a little girl. The thought almost made me laugh out loud until I realized that he had dozed off completely and within seconds.
I hit pause on the iPod so that the music couldn't disturb him and closed my own eyes falling asleep within minutes. I wished that we could have just hit pause on the moment instead.
Also, Happy Thanksgiving! I wish you all a very turkey-food-induced coma!
Emma's POV:
I was struggling not to fidget and failing miserably at it. Then again, I always had been a fidgeter in situations that made me uncomfortable. Right now definitely counted as uncomfortable.
"Are you okay?" Sidney asked looking over at me as I tightened the seatbelt on my lap again. I checked it one more time before deciding that it felt secure.
"You know, you can take your seatbelt off. We're already in the air" he gestured to the light above us signalling that we could indeed get up and move around the air craft.
"No, I'm good" I replied willing my body to stay still. In two more hours we would be landing in Hallifax and I wasn't completelely sure how I felt about that now that it was officially happening.
When I told Eliza and Vero about my holiday plans both of them had looked at each other, shaking their heads.
"Vous etes trés, trés stupide." Vero had told me before changing the subject- not even offering me some advice on what to do.
After my moment of girl-power in agreeing to go home with him to Cole Harbour, the feelings of confidence and strength wore off pretty quickly and were replaced by anxiety and feelings of remorse over what I had agreed to.
Then I remembered that I would have to spend time on an airplane.How could I have forgotten that I hate to fly? Years of travelling with or without my parents hadn't conditioned me for flying and I hadn't told Sidney this out of embarrassment. In fact, until this morning, I had completely forgotten about the flying part. Besides, everything was already complicated between us.
"Okay seriously, you're making me nervous with all of your moving." Sidney stated placing a firm and warm hand on my knee. The touch jolted me away from where I was concentrating out the window and back to his face.
"Em?" He asked now looking at me curiously. "Are you okay with flying?"
I tried to give a reassuring yes but it came out more like a squeak as we hit turbulence, the butterflies exploding in my stomach once more.
"Where's your iPod?" He asked chuckling and shaking his head. I gestured to the purse at my feet and he leaned forward to dig around in it for me. "I seriously don't understand what it is with women and huge bags" he grumbled finally pulling out the device.
He smiled at me and popped an ear bud in each of our ears, scrolling around for something that we could listen to. "Music will help" he stated leaning back and looking relaxed and incredibly perfect in his reebok sweater and pens hat. How does he do that?
In fact, he had seemed remarkably relaxed all morning, even when I obviously wasn't. Hell, I was a complete mess and he had been so nice, guiding me through the airport and laughing repeatedly every time he mentioned something about our plans with his family and I forced myself to smile like I was excited. He could see right through my little charade and yet he was as patient as ever and reassuring me that I would have fun.
It actually surprised me how patient he was being considering the roles were usually reversed between us and he was the antsy one who worried and dissected everything.
Truthfully, I knew that I shouldn't be nervous about this. Yes, I was meeting his family but I wasn't meeting them as a girlfriend or lover, I was meeting them as the awkward friend of his that didn't have anywhere else to go for the holidays.
"Put your head back and try to relax" he instructed already closing his eyes in relaxation. I tried to copy him and get comfortable by tucking one of my legs up beneath me and rest my head against the window. This failed however when my movement away from him yanked his earbud out.
"You're still fidgeting" he whispered laughing at me again. The woman across from us gave both of us a dirty look and "shh'ed" us. "Come here" he motioned lifting his arm and sliding it around my shoulders. Before I knew it, my head was resting against the crook between his arm and chest and he settled back against his seat again seemingly oblivious to our cozy position and all of its implications.
Under the weight of his warm arm, I felt my body begin to unwind even though my brain was on high alert just from being in close proximity to him again. i breathed in his scent which was now surrounding me like giant comfort blanket. Did he even realize that he smelled like winter? It was something I had never really noticed until now but he smelled like cold, fresh air on a grey, winter afternoon in January. Without realizing it, I nestled my head in further against his arm finding an even more comforting position against him. I didn't even want to think about what we looked like right now cuddled against each other.
"You're still not relaxing" he mumbled. "I can hear your brain still working."
I tilted my head back slightly to look up at the smooth lines of his face. From this angle I could see the fan of his eyelashes which looked oddly long and feminine when his eyes were closed. I smiled- Sidney Crosby had the eyelashes of a little girl. The thought almost made me laugh out loud until I realized that he had dozed off completely and within seconds.
I hit pause on the iPod so that the music couldn't disturb him and closed my own eyes falling asleep within minutes. I wished that we could have just hit pause on the moment instead.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Chapter 20
Did I tell you guys how much I detest this semester? I feel like writing is my only escape from anything right now so I appreciate it so much that I have this strange little hobby of mine to turn to. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I felt like so much of my own head was inside Emma's towards the end of this chapter and that makes me smile. Maybe you'll understand this ramble when you get there.
Emma's POV:
We needed to talk.
We really needed to talk but I couldn't do anything while his lips were attached to the sensitive skin on my neck. He was discovering skin that I didn't even know I had on my neck and making me feel like my body was slowly being swallowed in flames. "Friends" did not do these sorts of things. Friends did not make out for a solid twenty minutes in a kitchen like two teenagers discovering what puberty did to bodies.
But I hadn't said yes to this weird Christmas scheme he had cooked up and for as much as I was in heaven right now, I felt like a fraud. I was lying by continuing to kiss him and letting him believe that I had really said yes.
He groaned at the feeling of my nails scraping along his neck and pushed me back farther onto the counter rapping my head against the cupboards and making me gasp in shock. This time I was seeing stars but for a different reason than before.
"I'm really sorry, are you okay?" he winced holding my head gently while I struggled to focus my eyes. I was so out of sorts from our makeout session and from hitting my head that I couldn't do anything but focus on the golden eyes in front of me. "How many fingers do I have up?" he joked holding three fingers up in front of my face. At least I thought that was three fingers.
"Three?" I guessed still feeling woozy.
He grinned leaning in to kiss me again and I stopped him by putting a hand on his chest. Who was this Sidney Crosby and where had he come from? I had absolutely no idea that he could be this forward and I wasn't a girl accustomed to a man taking charge like that. Much less one of my closest friends.
"Wait" I said trying to disengage our lips.
"Hmm?" he mumbled trying to tempt me into deepening the kiss. I guess I wasn't very convincing with one of my arms still wrapped tightly around his neck and my hand buried in his hair.
"Sidney, this isn't a good idea" I said trying to remain strong and resist my urge to taste the skin beneath his ear. He wrinkled his eyebrows at me in confusion, his lips still tantalizingly close to mine.
"What? Why?"
How would I explain this to him without coming off like a complete bitch? And worse, an awful, terrible friend?
"Sidney, I didn't say 'yes.'" I waited for him to blow up at me and ruin what was quite literally one of the best 20 minutes of my life so far. He pulled back just staring at me and I hated that I couldn't tell what he was thinking. He was just looking at me with those eyes of his and I could feel his brain picking me apart. The worst part of it was that I couldn't move anywhere with his arms holding me in place on the counter and my legs still wrapped tightly around his waist.
"You said you were going to say yes" he said looking utterly confused. So much for this being an easy, adult conversation. At the rate we were going, hormones were going to get in the way again and I felt a fight coming on.
I opened my mouth to start explaining but he held a hand up and stopped me without saying anything. "You said yes" he said continuing to stare at me. I was positive that this was the beginning of a fight until I noticed the twinkle in his eye.
"Are you smiling?" I asked in disbelief that he would even find humor in this situation. He was the more serious one out of the both of us!
"No" he said coughing and trying to cover up his mouth.
"You are laughing!" I cried out torn between laughing with him and feeling offended. What was so funny about this situation? He was tearing me in half with all of this confusion and he had the audacity to laugh at me right now?
"I'm not, I promise" he said holding his breath before bursting out into laughter. I hadn't seen him laugh like that in awhile and it was nice to hear even though I wasn't quite fond of what he was laughing at. Namely me. I pushed at his shoulders so that I could get down off of the counter and put some real space between us. It was hard to reason with him when he was laughing at me and still standing in between my legs.
He stepped aside letting me down off of my perch while he calmed himself down. My once tucked in blouse was now completely out of the hold of my belt and the top two buttons were undone making me wonder when his fingers had even gotten to those. I buttoned them up quickly watching him watch me with a grin still plastered to his face. Again I wondered who this Sidney Crosby was standing in front of me.
"I think that I should go." I didn't know what to make of him just standing there smiling at me. And damn it, couldn't he just take no for an answer for once?
"Wait" he said stepping forward to grab my arm gently. "I'm sorry. Really" he said holding me in place. "I'm not laughing at you."
Laughing at me, my ass. "Then what are you laughing at?"
And why did you kiss me? Twice?
Sidney's POV:
"Then what are you laughing at?" she asked still trying to wiggle her arm out of my hold. I wasn't going to let her just walk away now. I found it cute that she thought that she could get away from me that easily. I should have stopped touching her even before this but I couldn't will my hand to move away from the soft skin of her arm.
"You said that you were going to say 'yes.'" I said ignoring her question and trying to force the conversation elsewhere. The last thing I wanted to do was fight with her again but I had heard what she said and there was no way that I was letting that go. She pursed her lips like she did whenever she was trying to figure something out and my eyes focused on the movement and on her pink lips.
Her lips represented everything that was complicated between us right now and part of me regretted taking that step with her. I didn't know how we had gone from fighting to kissing in 10 seconds flat but it had been impossible for me to not kiss her in that moment. Something about hearing her finally say 'yes' to coming home with me had set me off. It wasn't like she pushed me away either and I had to force myself not to think about the way her nails had felt on my scalp. There had to be consequences to thinking about one of your best friends this way and acting on those thoughts.
Besides, it would never be a good idea for the two of us to become something more than friends. I barely had time to focus on anything besides hockey right now and the last time I had tried for a personal relationship, it had ended in disaster and a broken vase. Emma deserved better than any of that. She needed someone that could be there for her all of the time instead of once or twice a week.
She also deserved to have a good Christmas. If I could learn to ignore my urges around her and put everything back to normal, then we could both enjoy time with my family and come back like nothing ever happened. Just two adults functioning as friends.
"Look, let's just forget everything else. I didn't mean for things to get so-" I paused not knowing what to call the kiss. I couldn't think of an adjective to describe it either without sounding like an ass. "heated a few minutes ago." There, that was accurate enough without lying completely. It had definitely been hot. "Why don't you just take time to think about Christmas and let me know later this week?"
She nodded eyeing me like she knew that I was full of shit and took a complete step back making the room drop in temperature as everything clicked back to the way it was.
"Okay. Sure." She looked paler than she had before and glanced down at her watch obviously looking for an escape. This night hadn't exactly gone as planned. Nothing went as planned with her- ever. Then again, what had I been expecting tonight? I didn't have an answer to that either.
"I'm going to get going. Do you need help cleaning up?"
I shook my head no but she was already walking to where she had draped her coat on a chair when she first came in. "I'll talk to you later" she told me before quickly shutting the door leading to the garage behind her.
Really smooth, Crosby.
Emma's POV:
I made it home without giving into temptation and stopping at Giant Eagle to pick up multiple containers of Ben and Jerry's. Eating through my feelings wasn't going to achieve anything besides adding to my waistline which I couldn't handle right now. A girl could only work out so much before wanting to burn every one of her sports bras.
Tonight had turned into one big, collossal mess and I wanted to punch something- more importantly someone. I had never been one for violent urges- that was Eliza's territory- but Sidney brought out the worst in me and lately my violent urges had gotten more frequent.
Why hadn't I stayed and demanded answers? I should have, I deserved them. And yet, I just left. I always just leave and it was frustrating to fall victim to my instincts and habits once again. What was worse was that he had brushed it off like it was nothing. He went from kissing me, to laughing to pretending like that was all normal in the span of 5 minutes. How was I supposed to feel after all of that? I couldn't be as robotic as he apparently could be. Then again, maybe he hadn't enjoyed the kiss the way I had? Maybe it was one of those 'been there, done that' scenarios and I was now in the 'done that' category.
But damn it, we were friends! Friends didn't pull shit like that with friends! You at least had the courtesy to give explanations when you pulled weird shit like that with friends. Not that I had ever been in this position before but that didn't really make a difference right now. My rational side didn't have to make an appearance right now.
My phone beeped signalling a text message and I picked it up from where I had tossed it onto the counter angrily when I got home.
I got you a plane ticket just in case. It's refundable if you decide not to come. -Sid
What an ass. He was still being pushy but trying to act like he wasn't by giving me a choice in the matter. By throwing the ball in my court and acting like all of this was really my choice, he actually had the ball in his court in a some twisted way. Mr. In-Control was in control again and it pissed me off. How could someone just be that emotionally in check all of the damn time? Didn't he slip up? Ever?
The perverse side of my mind wanted to go with him to Nova Scotia now just to show him that our little display in the kitchen didn't mean anything to me either. Never mind that my head had simultaneously cracked open and slid off my shoulders from the feeling of his lips on mine. Never mind that I had been thinking about what kissing him would feel like since the day I laid eyes on him. If he could act like it was nothing than it was nothing to me too.
I pulled out my phone and quickly typed out a text to him curious to see how he would react.
How much do I owe you for it? I'm coming.
I couldn't take the text back now as it disappeared off into cyber space but I felt more confident now like we were finally toe to toe.
Bring it, Crosby.
Emma's POV:
We needed to talk.
We really needed to talk but I couldn't do anything while his lips were attached to the sensitive skin on my neck. He was discovering skin that I didn't even know I had on my neck and making me feel like my body was slowly being swallowed in flames. "Friends" did not do these sorts of things. Friends did not make out for a solid twenty minutes in a kitchen like two teenagers discovering what puberty did to bodies.
But I hadn't said yes to this weird Christmas scheme he had cooked up and for as much as I was in heaven right now, I felt like a fraud. I was lying by continuing to kiss him and letting him believe that I had really said yes.
He groaned at the feeling of my nails scraping along his neck and pushed me back farther onto the counter rapping my head against the cupboards and making me gasp in shock. This time I was seeing stars but for a different reason than before.
"I'm really sorry, are you okay?" he winced holding my head gently while I struggled to focus my eyes. I was so out of sorts from our makeout session and from hitting my head that I couldn't do anything but focus on the golden eyes in front of me. "How many fingers do I have up?" he joked holding three fingers up in front of my face. At least I thought that was three fingers.
"Three?" I guessed still feeling woozy.
He grinned leaning in to kiss me again and I stopped him by putting a hand on his chest. Who was this Sidney Crosby and where had he come from? I had absolutely no idea that he could be this forward and I wasn't a girl accustomed to a man taking charge like that. Much less one of my closest friends.
"Wait" I said trying to disengage our lips.
"Hmm?" he mumbled trying to tempt me into deepening the kiss. I guess I wasn't very convincing with one of my arms still wrapped tightly around his neck and my hand buried in his hair.
"Sidney, this isn't a good idea" I said trying to remain strong and resist my urge to taste the skin beneath his ear. He wrinkled his eyebrows at me in confusion, his lips still tantalizingly close to mine.
"What? Why?"
How would I explain this to him without coming off like a complete bitch? And worse, an awful, terrible friend?
"Sidney, I didn't say 'yes.'" I waited for him to blow up at me and ruin what was quite literally one of the best 20 minutes of my life so far. He pulled back just staring at me and I hated that I couldn't tell what he was thinking. He was just looking at me with those eyes of his and I could feel his brain picking me apart. The worst part of it was that I couldn't move anywhere with his arms holding me in place on the counter and my legs still wrapped tightly around his waist.
"You said you were going to say yes" he said looking utterly confused. So much for this being an easy, adult conversation. At the rate we were going, hormones were going to get in the way again and I felt a fight coming on.
I opened my mouth to start explaining but he held a hand up and stopped me without saying anything. "You said yes" he said continuing to stare at me. I was positive that this was the beginning of a fight until I noticed the twinkle in his eye.
"Are you smiling?" I asked in disbelief that he would even find humor in this situation. He was the more serious one out of the both of us!
"No" he said coughing and trying to cover up his mouth.
"You are laughing!" I cried out torn between laughing with him and feeling offended. What was so funny about this situation? He was tearing me in half with all of this confusion and he had the audacity to laugh at me right now?
"I'm not, I promise" he said holding his breath before bursting out into laughter. I hadn't seen him laugh like that in awhile and it was nice to hear even though I wasn't quite fond of what he was laughing at. Namely me. I pushed at his shoulders so that I could get down off of the counter and put some real space between us. It was hard to reason with him when he was laughing at me and still standing in between my legs.
He stepped aside letting me down off of my perch while he calmed himself down. My once tucked in blouse was now completely out of the hold of my belt and the top two buttons were undone making me wonder when his fingers had even gotten to those. I buttoned them up quickly watching him watch me with a grin still plastered to his face. Again I wondered who this Sidney Crosby was standing in front of me.
"I think that I should go." I didn't know what to make of him just standing there smiling at me. And damn it, couldn't he just take no for an answer for once?
"Wait" he said stepping forward to grab my arm gently. "I'm sorry. Really" he said holding me in place. "I'm not laughing at you."
Laughing at me, my ass. "Then what are you laughing at?"
And why did you kiss me? Twice?
Sidney's POV:
"Then what are you laughing at?" she asked still trying to wiggle her arm out of my hold. I wasn't going to let her just walk away now. I found it cute that she thought that she could get away from me that easily. I should have stopped touching her even before this but I couldn't will my hand to move away from the soft skin of her arm.
"You said that you were going to say 'yes.'" I said ignoring her question and trying to force the conversation elsewhere. The last thing I wanted to do was fight with her again but I had heard what she said and there was no way that I was letting that go. She pursed her lips like she did whenever she was trying to figure something out and my eyes focused on the movement and on her pink lips.
Her lips represented everything that was complicated between us right now and part of me regretted taking that step with her. I didn't know how we had gone from fighting to kissing in 10 seconds flat but it had been impossible for me to not kiss her in that moment. Something about hearing her finally say 'yes' to coming home with me had set me off. It wasn't like she pushed me away either and I had to force myself not to think about the way her nails had felt on my scalp. There had to be consequences to thinking about one of your best friends this way and acting on those thoughts.
Besides, it would never be a good idea for the two of us to become something more than friends. I barely had time to focus on anything besides hockey right now and the last time I had tried for a personal relationship, it had ended in disaster and a broken vase. Emma deserved better than any of that. She needed someone that could be there for her all of the time instead of once or twice a week.
She also deserved to have a good Christmas. If I could learn to ignore my urges around her and put everything back to normal, then we could both enjoy time with my family and come back like nothing ever happened. Just two adults functioning as friends.
"Look, let's just forget everything else. I didn't mean for things to get so-" I paused not knowing what to call the kiss. I couldn't think of an adjective to describe it either without sounding like an ass. "heated a few minutes ago." There, that was accurate enough without lying completely. It had definitely been hot. "Why don't you just take time to think about Christmas and let me know later this week?"
She nodded eyeing me like she knew that I was full of shit and took a complete step back making the room drop in temperature as everything clicked back to the way it was.
"Okay. Sure." She looked paler than she had before and glanced down at her watch obviously looking for an escape. This night hadn't exactly gone as planned. Nothing went as planned with her- ever. Then again, what had I been expecting tonight? I didn't have an answer to that either.
"I'm going to get going. Do you need help cleaning up?"
I shook my head no but she was already walking to where she had draped her coat on a chair when she first came in. "I'll talk to you later" she told me before quickly shutting the door leading to the garage behind her.
Really smooth, Crosby.
Emma's POV:
I made it home without giving into temptation and stopping at Giant Eagle to pick up multiple containers of Ben and Jerry's. Eating through my feelings wasn't going to achieve anything besides adding to my waistline which I couldn't handle right now. A girl could only work out so much before wanting to burn every one of her sports bras.
Tonight had turned into one big, collossal mess and I wanted to punch something- more importantly someone. I had never been one for violent urges- that was Eliza's territory- but Sidney brought out the worst in me and lately my violent urges had gotten more frequent.
Why hadn't I stayed and demanded answers? I should have, I deserved them. And yet, I just left. I always just leave and it was frustrating to fall victim to my instincts and habits once again. What was worse was that he had brushed it off like it was nothing. He went from kissing me, to laughing to pretending like that was all normal in the span of 5 minutes. How was I supposed to feel after all of that? I couldn't be as robotic as he apparently could be. Then again, maybe he hadn't enjoyed the kiss the way I had? Maybe it was one of those 'been there, done that' scenarios and I was now in the 'done that' category.
But damn it, we were friends! Friends didn't pull shit like that with friends! You at least had the courtesy to give explanations when you pulled weird shit like that with friends. Not that I had ever been in this position before but that didn't really make a difference right now. My rational side didn't have to make an appearance right now.
My phone beeped signalling a text message and I picked it up from where I had tossed it onto the counter angrily when I got home.
I got you a plane ticket just in case. It's refundable if you decide not to come. -Sid
What an ass. He was still being pushy but trying to act like he wasn't by giving me a choice in the matter. By throwing the ball in my court and acting like all of this was really my choice, he actually had the ball in his court in a some twisted way. Mr. In-Control was in control again and it pissed me off. How could someone just be that emotionally in check all of the damn time? Didn't he slip up? Ever?
The perverse side of my mind wanted to go with him to Nova Scotia now just to show him that our little display in the kitchen didn't mean anything to me either. Never mind that my head had simultaneously cracked open and slid off my shoulders from the feeling of his lips on mine. Never mind that I had been thinking about what kissing him would feel like since the day I laid eyes on him. If he could act like it was nothing than it was nothing to me too.
I pulled out my phone and quickly typed out a text to him curious to see how he would react.
How much do I owe you for it? I'm coming.
I couldn't take the text back now as it disappeared off into cyber space but I felt more confident now like we were finally toe to toe.
Bring it, Crosby.
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