Chapter 30! I can't believe I made it this far with these two. :)
Emma's POV:
I had no idea where we were going when he not so nicely shoved me into the passenger seat of his car and locked the doors as if he was worried that I was going to jump out just to get away from him. I would be lying if I said that the thought hadn't crossed my mind already.
We drove in silence and I refused to ask where we were going. He was probably just taking me home and it was a good thing that Brian had driven me so that my car wasn't sitting at the Guerin's overnight. It was embarrassing enough for everyone to see Sidney drag me out the door- I didn't need physical proof as big as a car there to remind everyone when they left in the morning.
They were all probably thinking that something sordid was about to happen between us. I know that was the look Eliza gave me when I had looked to her for support. Too bad that was the farthest thing from happening to me right now.
I was still so angry at him that I didn't even try to hold back the angry sniffles that were about to break free. I had always been an angry, frustrated cryer and I just didn't care what he thought anymore. He was the one that had ruined my week and now he was ruining my evening as well with his insistence that we talk and then when he dragged me out the door in front of everyone.
I watched the dark landscape of Pittsburgh fly by as we drove and realized that he was indeed taking me home as we pulled onto my street. Great, so he really was going to just take me home and make me spend the rest of my New Year's Eve alone.
As soon as the car was stopped, I was ready with my seatbelt already unfastened and hopped out immediately to walk to the front door. He may not have let me grab my purse on the way out but I was old-fashioned and kept a spare key hidden beneath a flower pot by the door.
"What are you doing?" I snapped when I heard Sidney jog up the walkway behind me. "You've made a scene, dragged me away from the party and my date and I believe you've made your point for the night. As far as I'm concerned, you can go home now."
"What point? I haven't even talked to you yet" he stated not budging an inch. My hands fumbled with the key because I was too distracted by his presence to properly put the key in the door. Another reason to hate him right now.
"Oh believe me Sidney. You don't have to talk because your actions the past few days have said enough."
"Remind me not to cross you again" he said shaking his head and slipping the key out of my fumbling hand. He calmly unlocked the door and I pushed it open.
Unfortunately he slapped a hand on the door before I could close it in his face. "I'm coming in" he stated walking into my foyer and locking the door up behind him.
"Sure, come in, make yourself comfortable" I mocked slipping off his jacket and slapping it to his chest. If I was going to fight with him, I didn't want to smell his comforting scent on me.
"Can we talk now?" he asked following close behind me as I made my way into the kitchen. The only response he got was the slapping of my heels on the hardwood floors beneath me.
"You can talk, I don't have to listen" I stated taking a glass from the cabinet and filling it with tap water. He watched me cooly and I vaguely wondered why we always seemed to end up fighting in the kitchen.
"Listen, I'm sorry that I just disappeared for the past couple of days" he started leaning back against the island.
"Why did you have to disappear like that?" I asked letting the question I had been dying to know all week slip free. "What did I do that made you shut off and ignore me for days?"
"You didn't do anything" he stated looking panicked at the tears in my eyes. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. It wasn't you-"
"Let me guess" I said sarcastically. "It's not me, it's you?"
He frowned, a deep line settling on his forehead as a result. "I wasn't trying to feed you a line, Emma. I'm trying to be honest with you even though I guess I should have done that from the start."
"Even though all signs point to the fact that we would work well together- I knew it wouldn't be fair to you in the end." I watched him curiously as he started to pace around the kitchen looking more anxious than he had all night. "I mean, my family loves you, you understand the lifestyle that I need to lead and to top it all off, you're amazing."
My breath hitched in my throat waiting for the inevitable "but" that was sure to follow.
"I know that I was the one who started this, I pushed you along, but I realized while I was back home that I can't put you through what being in a relationship with me would be like."
He held up a hand to keep me from saying anything and continued. "Being with me would open your own life up to scrutiny and I don't think it's fair for that to suddenly become your life when you never even asked for it."
As much as I hated to say it, it looked like Eliza had nailed it on the head when she said that Sidney was being Sidney. Unfortunately, it didn't make me any less pissed off at him for just assuming what was best for me.
"So you just decided for me?"
He sensed that this was a dangerous question and I put my glass down, taking a step closer to him.
"You just decided that it would be a good idea to decide for me and not even tell me what was on your mind?"
"I guess" he stated dumbly. He may not have gone to college and he may not be interested in russian literature but Sidney was by no means a stupid man. I admired him more for the fact that he was so successful by unconventional means in society. To top it off, he was a good person.
Despite this, it was moments like these that seriously made me question his intelligence. Especially his emotional intelligence.
"Can I ask you a question?" I asked coming to stand directly in front of him. His eyes darted down to the limited space between us and I leaned forward even farther letting my breasts rub briefly against his own chest. He shifted uncomfortably obviously confused by my sudden mood swing.
"Do you like me?" I asked waiting for the sign I needed to continue. He had given me every reason that I already knew of why being with him would be difficult. These reasons would undeniably put pressure on any relationship but he was ignoring the fact that he was also a difficult person in general. If anything, his know it all personality (like the one he was exhibiting now) would be the thing to set me over the edge- not trivial things that someone else said about us. All I needed to know was an answer to the question I had just asked him.
"I think it's pretty obvious by now that I like you" he said laughing slightly. "That's why I'm trying to-"
I cut him off having the only answer that I needed and shut him up by covering his mouth with my own. He quickly regained control by tracing my lips with his tongue asking for entrance as I pulled him closer to my body.
Just like that, things were momentarily mended. He may not completely understand yet the point that I had been trying to make but at least I understood what he had been trying to do and I was patient enough to take the time to show him that he was wrong.
His tongue languidly stroked mine as we silently communicated that we were sorry over and over again. I groaned in displeasure when his mouth left mine to trace the curve of my cheek with his mouth.
"Couch?" I squeaked, my hands holding on tightly to his shoulders when he found a particularly sensitive spot on my neck. He nodded and hitched me up allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist as we crossed the kitchen on our way to the living room. My dress was hitched up from wrapping my legs around his waist leaving my legs exposed to his wandering hands.
I wanted this. I had always wanted him in some capacity or another but right now the sole thing my mind could focus on was how badly I needed to feel connected to him. I physically ached for his body to meet mine and finally fulfill what I had been looking for all along from him.
My back met the couch as he laid me down and I shivered against the cool material until his body rapidly covered mine, our mouths meeting again like we hadn't tasted each other in days. Wanting to feel more of him, my hands tugged the back of his shirt out of his pants and I slid my hands up his well muscled back and kneaded the muscle- loving the way the warm flesh shifted beneath my fingers. He groaned from the sensations and slid his hands around my front to tug the material of my dress down and expose my matching red bra. Nimbly he unfastened the bra and tossed it aside leaving me completely exposed to his eyes which heated my skin with their gaze. His eyes were almost black now and I had no idea what he was thinking as he leaned down to plant another kiss on my neck, working his way down in an exquisitely slow pace.
"You're beautiful" he mumbled against my collarbone elliciting a sigh from my lips. That was all it took to make me hungry for more and to ask him to hurry things up. His hands were suddenly everywhere at once and it was all I could do to try to keep up and let my hands get enough of him in response. I wanted all of him, as my hands raked over him silently telling him to keep going, I realized that I couldn't get enough and wanted to take a moment to record every sensation that the feeling of his skin on my hands made me feel.
I was positively tingling by the time our clothes were completely gone and my breath sped up in anticipation of the joining that was to come. "Are you sure?" he asked pulling his lips back to pant the question in my face.
I nodded wondering why the hell he was even asking me and ground out a "please" taking the initiative and sliding the condom down over his erection. Kissing me deeply as he went along, I shuddered feeling the anticipation reach its hilt as he slowly entered my body. Neither of us were virgins but it felt like the first time all over again. The feeling of pleasure and pain that comes from the welcoming of another person's body into your own made me gasp out. He paused allowing both of our bodies to adjust before beginning to move slowly.
He buried his face in the crook of my neck and I arched into him wanting more of what he could give as the tempo increased, his name rolling off my tongue repeatedly in synch with the movement of our bodies.
Finally, something between us felt right and I clutched him closer to my body as we both came allowing the hazy aftermath to settle over us in perfect silence.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Chapter 29
Haha, so it's taken me 29 chapters to get these two people where I want them. But hopefully you'll enjoy the result :) Thanks for being patient all of this time and enjoy the double chapter post! I like even numbers and it seemed fitting to split this portion into two chapters so that it would culminate at chapter 30!
Emma's POV:
New Year's Eve. A night of fun, (drunken) debauchery and the promise of a whole new year to start fresh, only a few hours away from becoming definite reality.
It should have been an evening that I enjoyed, and I was having a good time but I still couldn't fight the feeling that something was off. Rather, someone was making me feel off just by being here at the party. Three guesses who that was.
My date Brian and I, a guy that I had struck up a casual friendship with through work a few months ago, had arrived an hour earlier and all was going smoothly until Sidney had arrived. Whereas I had felt pretty and confident before his arrival, as soon as his eyes locked onto mine across the room, my little red dress no longer fit right. Instead it felt tight and I was worried all over again that it clashed with the color of my auburn hair.
He of course looked gorgeous in his crisp, white oxford shirt, blazer and dark jeans. Once again our eyes connected but I couldn't tell what those dark orbs were telling me. That is, if they were actually telling me anything at all besides "I hate you."
I looked down self-consciously at the semi-low cut bodice of the dress and tried to pull it up without drawing attention to myself. Why had I decided to wear something so revealing? Because it's New Year's and I wanted to wear something fun.
"Stop fussing, you look hot" Vero murmured holding out another flute of champagne for me to drink. She must have seen me awkwardly adjusting the dress for the past 5 minutes while Brian was off talking to other people from work.
"Thanks" I mumbled taking a big gulp of champagne.
"Sidney hasn't stopped staring at you" she commented picking at a plate of food she was holding. "That's interesting considering you keep saying that he hates you."
"Don't mock me." I said instantly picking up on the teasing tone in her voice. "Why else wouldn't he be talking to me right now if he didn't hate me for something that I did or said?"
"Honey, a man that spends this much time sulking in a corner on his own and staring at you for over an hour doesn't hate you." She slapped at my hands once more telling me that my boobs looked fine before walking off to go find Marc.
Deciding that I had been ignoring my date for far too long because of a man that I wasn't even speaking to right now, I turned my back on the area that I thought Sidney was still standing in and stalked off determined not to let him ruin my night.
Sidney's POV:
Why was I here again?
This was the only thing I could think about as I knocked back my 2nd glass of Johnny Walker and tried not to look completely miserable alone on a couch in the Guerin's living room.
The root of the problem was a redhead wearing a bright red dress and pointedly ignoring me even though my eyes hadn't left her frame for over an hour. A very small red dress that some random guy I had seen in the merchandise department seemed to be enjoying very much.
I watched her laugh at something he was saying and take another sip of her champagne. Her pink lips curled into a smile and I could tell, even from this distance, that it wasn't a fake smile. She was actually enjoying herself and it was enough to make my stomach clench uncomfortably.
The thought that I should be the one making her smile and laugh briefly crossed my mind before I pushed it aside in favor of more alcohol. Did I want to get drunk tonight? No. Did I need to numb my brain a little bit? Yes. I was so busy staring into my drink that I didn't notice Eliza making her way over to me.
"You know that this would all sort itself out if you just went and talked to her."
I glanced over at Eliza smiling at me and internally groaned. Eliza was one of Emma's best friends and had probably heard a mouthful from her. As much as I liked Eliza and valued her legal advice, I didn't want to hear relationship advice from her right now. I already knew that I was a jerk.
"It's not that simple" I told her. My eyes flicked back over to Emma who was still getting friendly with that guy. Actually he was just getting friendly. I didn't like that his eyes were practically glued to her chest and the way his arm had slid around her waist. She looked fucking amazing tonight but that didn't mean that he had the right to hang all over her.
"Are you sure? You're the infamous over-thinker of the team, Sid."
"I have to be" I told her shrugging. I've always had to be that way.
"Well that doesn't mean that you have to be unhappy either" she stated getting comfortable next to me on the couch and gingerly pulling the still half full glass out of my hand. "If it's any consolation, she's confused and angry."
I sighed wondering how the hell that was any form of consolation at all. "But" she added making me look at her again, "she would listen to you if you would just explain yourself. Emma's too nice of a person to deny you that."
"Who's the guy that's been following her around all night?"
"Jealous?" she asked grinning at me snidely.
"No" I told her just a little bit too quickly. "I was just curious."
"Uh huh" she said knowingly, clearly enjoying my discomfort. "He's no one you should be worried or threatened by" she responded finally, still grinning at me. I tried not to let it show that I was relieved by what she had told me and together we sat in silence for a few more minutes watching everyone else enjoying their evening.
"Go talk to her, seriously Sid. Whatever your reason was for blowing her off, you won't feel better until you talk to her." With that, she squeezed my knee in a friendly gesture before getting up and walking away.
While I stalled and decided whether or not I wanted to talk to her tonight or put it off until after the party, I made an effort to mingle with the guys and enjoy what I could of the evening. Besides, it was getting hard to watch what Emma was doing from my position on the couch. I could only see so much and then nothing at all as soon as she moved out of my line of vision.
After asking around, no one seemed to really know anything about Emma's date except for the fact that his name was Brian and he worked for the Pens somehow. I didn't think that I had really seen him around before so how the hell did Emma know him?
Locating her again in the crowd wasn't difficult due to the dress she was wearing. As if by chance, her eyes looked up and met mine across the room. Though we had been doing this all night, this time she held her eyes instead of looking away. One slim eyebrow rose in challenge as we stared at each other and for the first time that night, I saw how pissed off she really was.
My stomach burned with what I could only identify as shame from my purposeful actions and the steps I had taken in recent days not to talk to her or explain myself to her.
Just like that, the moment was broken and she turned her head leaving me with only a view of her lightly curled hair as she talked to her date. Without looking back I saw them walk hand in hand out of my eyesight and I felt worse than I did before.
Emma's POV:
Maybe it was cruel of me but I wanted him to suffer. I could tell just by looking into his brown eyes frequently throughout the night that he was trying to tell me that he was sorry. I still couldn't decide what he should be more sorry for- for just ignoring me without reason or because he was possibly the biggest all around jackass that I had ever had the misfortune to meet.
What was the saying about a woman scorned? That was me right now and I was just angry and frustrated enough to want to use anything I had available to me right now against him. What I did have available to me was my poor date Brian who was just nice enough not to realize that I had been engaged in a silent battle with another man all evening.
It still didn't make any sense to me whatsoever that Sidney was the one who had been pushing me along all of this time with his kisses and then with how warm and wonderful his family was- how warm and wonderful he was- and then just drop me completely as if he realized that I was mistake but was just too cowardly to tell me.
It was infuriating! And worse- it hurt like hell to be tossed aside by the one man that had consumed such a large part of my heart over the years. Actually, it was pathetic. Not that I considered myself pathetic on the whole but generally, when it came to Sidney Crosby, lets face it- I was a mess.
We weren't even together and I was a mess. Maybe it was better off that we weren't together if this is how catastrophic we were together.
"Do you want another drink?" Brian was playing the role of attentive date well and had been genuinely funny and nice the whole evening. He was engaging, intelligent, handsome- and completely wrong for me. How could I be with someone else when my mind was still stuck on someone selfish, idiotic and stupid?
"A water would be great, thanks!" I told him smiling. I wondered if I had any other single friends that I could set him up with. I watched him walk away and took a minute to collect myself and get my mind back on track and back on the man that I had brought as a date.
It was time for me to buck up and start enjoying the evening like I intended to.
"Can we talk?"
I froze hearing his voice behind me and was torn between turning like my body told me to and walking away as if I hadn't heard him. My body won.
"About what?" I asked standing near him for the first time all night.
"Can I just have a minute, outside maybe?"
I didn't want to do this right now. Not after I had finally worked out in my mind that I owed it to myself and my date not to concern myself with Sidney the whole night.
"No, not tonight."
He didn't look pleased with this answer if the sole, bulging cord on his neck was any indication. "Just 5 minutes" he told me taking a step closer as if to intimidate me with his size.
"No" I stressed the word wondering why this needed to be discussed right now. Couldn't it wait until after tonight?
Both of us were angry and I could practically feel the air crackle between us thanks to the frustrated energy now bubbling over.
"What is your problem?" he hissed at me shushing me before the outraged noise could errupt from my mouth.
"My problem? My problem? Are you insane Crosby?" This time I didn't bother to keep my voice down elliciting confused looks from those arond us.
"Keep your voice down" he hissed sliding back into Sidney Crosby: popular NHL player and master of not making a scene rather than the Sidney I needed him to be. A Sidney that would admit that he was wrong and leave me alone for awhile.
"I can't deal with you right now" I stated taking a big step back, almost bumping into Kris Letang who looked embarrassed to be caught in the crossfire. I apologized before scooting around him in the crowd looking for an escape. I just needed air. Once I had air, I would be able to go back inside. Out on the Guerin's enormous backyard patio, I felt better letting the cold air rush over me and instantly cool me off.
"Em, seriously, let's go back inside. It's freezing out here."
Rolling my eyes, I turned to where Sidney was standing, partially hidden by the shadows. He still looked angry at me which I was fine with. I was still angry at him too. "I need air."
"Okay, so take some air. Just don't freeze to death" he said slipping out of his blazer and holding it out to me.
"Okay, I won't freeze to death. You can leave now" I stated wishing now more than anything that he would finally leave me be. Funny how the one person you find yourself always wanting to be around can also be the one person to make you physically wish to leave your own skin just to get some distance from them sometimes.
"Why are you being so stubborn? I realize that I was an ass for not-"
"Ass doesn't even begin to cover it, Sidney" I deadpanned.
"Well maybe I would be able to explain if you didn't keep interrupting me."
We were both close to yelling at each other again and I didn't like the look in his eyes. He looked at me like I was Ovechkin or something.
"Could you please leave me alone?" I asked again, almost pleading with him now.
"No. We need to talk" he stated again crossing to where I was standing. I stared down at the hands that were flexing by his sides before they reached out to grasp my elbows and hold me gently in place. "Leave with me?"
My stomach fluttered at the intensity of his voice and I had to take a deep breath before shaking my head no. "I'm here with someone else" I reminded him, my thoughts darting back to Brian for the first time in 10 minutes.
"You don't have to be" Sidney said surprising me with the sudden slyness of his voice.
"Yes, I do." I tried to break free of his hands but to no avail. I was still locked firmly in place it seemed with barely any effort on his part to hold me there.
"No you don't" he stated again. The self-assurance in his voice was unbelievably arrogant and triggered my pent up anger like nothing else.
"What was that for?" he asked finally dropping his hold on my arms to clutch at his now stinging cheek. As far as I was concerned, he deserved to be slapped for his know it all attitude- among other things.
"Nothing that you don't deserve" I told him taking twisted delight in the way his eyes sparked back at me.
Not saying another word, he grasped my hand tightly with the authority a mother might take with a petulant child and dragged me back inside despite my protests. He gave me just enough time to frantically look for Eliza or Vero, anyone who would help me out. Eliza spotted me first and I looked to her for help but instead she smiled and waved then turned her back on me.
I didn't even have my purse as Sidney ignored everyone else and led me out the door into the cold night.
Emma's POV:
New Year's Eve. A night of fun, (drunken) debauchery and the promise of a whole new year to start fresh, only a few hours away from becoming definite reality.
It should have been an evening that I enjoyed, and I was having a good time but I still couldn't fight the feeling that something was off. Rather, someone was making me feel off just by being here at the party. Three guesses who that was.
My date Brian and I, a guy that I had struck up a casual friendship with through work a few months ago, had arrived an hour earlier and all was going smoothly until Sidney had arrived. Whereas I had felt pretty and confident before his arrival, as soon as his eyes locked onto mine across the room, my little red dress no longer fit right. Instead it felt tight and I was worried all over again that it clashed with the color of my auburn hair.
He of course looked gorgeous in his crisp, white oxford shirt, blazer and dark jeans. Once again our eyes connected but I couldn't tell what those dark orbs were telling me. That is, if they were actually telling me anything at all besides "I hate you."
I looked down self-consciously at the semi-low cut bodice of the dress and tried to pull it up without drawing attention to myself. Why had I decided to wear something so revealing? Because it's New Year's and I wanted to wear something fun.
"Stop fussing, you look hot" Vero murmured holding out another flute of champagne for me to drink. She must have seen me awkwardly adjusting the dress for the past 5 minutes while Brian was off talking to other people from work.
"Thanks" I mumbled taking a big gulp of champagne.
"Sidney hasn't stopped staring at you" she commented picking at a plate of food she was holding. "That's interesting considering you keep saying that he hates you."
"Don't mock me." I said instantly picking up on the teasing tone in her voice. "Why else wouldn't he be talking to me right now if he didn't hate me for something that I did or said?"
"Honey, a man that spends this much time sulking in a corner on his own and staring at you for over an hour doesn't hate you." She slapped at my hands once more telling me that my boobs looked fine before walking off to go find Marc.
Deciding that I had been ignoring my date for far too long because of a man that I wasn't even speaking to right now, I turned my back on the area that I thought Sidney was still standing in and stalked off determined not to let him ruin my night.
Sidney's POV:
Why was I here again?
This was the only thing I could think about as I knocked back my 2nd glass of Johnny Walker and tried not to look completely miserable alone on a couch in the Guerin's living room.
The root of the problem was a redhead wearing a bright red dress and pointedly ignoring me even though my eyes hadn't left her frame for over an hour. A very small red dress that some random guy I had seen in the merchandise department seemed to be enjoying very much.
I watched her laugh at something he was saying and take another sip of her champagne. Her pink lips curled into a smile and I could tell, even from this distance, that it wasn't a fake smile. She was actually enjoying herself and it was enough to make my stomach clench uncomfortably.
The thought that I should be the one making her smile and laugh briefly crossed my mind before I pushed it aside in favor of more alcohol. Did I want to get drunk tonight? No. Did I need to numb my brain a little bit? Yes. I was so busy staring into my drink that I didn't notice Eliza making her way over to me.
"You know that this would all sort itself out if you just went and talked to her."
I glanced over at Eliza smiling at me and internally groaned. Eliza was one of Emma's best friends and had probably heard a mouthful from her. As much as I liked Eliza and valued her legal advice, I didn't want to hear relationship advice from her right now. I already knew that I was a jerk.
"It's not that simple" I told her. My eyes flicked back over to Emma who was still getting friendly with that guy. Actually he was just getting friendly. I didn't like that his eyes were practically glued to her chest and the way his arm had slid around her waist. She looked fucking amazing tonight but that didn't mean that he had the right to hang all over her.
"Are you sure? You're the infamous over-thinker of the team, Sid."
"I have to be" I told her shrugging. I've always had to be that way.
"Well that doesn't mean that you have to be unhappy either" she stated getting comfortable next to me on the couch and gingerly pulling the still half full glass out of my hand. "If it's any consolation, she's confused and angry."
I sighed wondering how the hell that was any form of consolation at all. "But" she added making me look at her again, "she would listen to you if you would just explain yourself. Emma's too nice of a person to deny you that."
"Who's the guy that's been following her around all night?"
"Jealous?" she asked grinning at me snidely.
"No" I told her just a little bit too quickly. "I was just curious."
"Uh huh" she said knowingly, clearly enjoying my discomfort. "He's no one you should be worried or threatened by" she responded finally, still grinning at me. I tried not to let it show that I was relieved by what she had told me and together we sat in silence for a few more minutes watching everyone else enjoying their evening.
"Go talk to her, seriously Sid. Whatever your reason was for blowing her off, you won't feel better until you talk to her." With that, she squeezed my knee in a friendly gesture before getting up and walking away.
While I stalled and decided whether or not I wanted to talk to her tonight or put it off until after the party, I made an effort to mingle with the guys and enjoy what I could of the evening. Besides, it was getting hard to watch what Emma was doing from my position on the couch. I could only see so much and then nothing at all as soon as she moved out of my line of vision.
After asking around, no one seemed to really know anything about Emma's date except for the fact that his name was Brian and he worked for the Pens somehow. I didn't think that I had really seen him around before so how the hell did Emma know him?
Locating her again in the crowd wasn't difficult due to the dress she was wearing. As if by chance, her eyes looked up and met mine across the room. Though we had been doing this all night, this time she held her eyes instead of looking away. One slim eyebrow rose in challenge as we stared at each other and for the first time that night, I saw how pissed off she really was.
My stomach burned with what I could only identify as shame from my purposeful actions and the steps I had taken in recent days not to talk to her or explain myself to her.
Just like that, the moment was broken and she turned her head leaving me with only a view of her lightly curled hair as she talked to her date. Without looking back I saw them walk hand in hand out of my eyesight and I felt worse than I did before.
Emma's POV:
Maybe it was cruel of me but I wanted him to suffer. I could tell just by looking into his brown eyes frequently throughout the night that he was trying to tell me that he was sorry. I still couldn't decide what he should be more sorry for- for just ignoring me without reason or because he was possibly the biggest all around jackass that I had ever had the misfortune to meet.
What was the saying about a woman scorned? That was me right now and I was just angry and frustrated enough to want to use anything I had available to me right now against him. What I did have available to me was my poor date Brian who was just nice enough not to realize that I had been engaged in a silent battle with another man all evening.
It still didn't make any sense to me whatsoever that Sidney was the one who had been pushing me along all of this time with his kisses and then with how warm and wonderful his family was- how warm and wonderful he was- and then just drop me completely as if he realized that I was mistake but was just too cowardly to tell me.
It was infuriating! And worse- it hurt like hell to be tossed aside by the one man that had consumed such a large part of my heart over the years. Actually, it was pathetic. Not that I considered myself pathetic on the whole but generally, when it came to Sidney Crosby, lets face it- I was a mess.
We weren't even together and I was a mess. Maybe it was better off that we weren't together if this is how catastrophic we were together.
"Do you want another drink?" Brian was playing the role of attentive date well and had been genuinely funny and nice the whole evening. He was engaging, intelligent, handsome- and completely wrong for me. How could I be with someone else when my mind was still stuck on someone selfish, idiotic and stupid?
"A water would be great, thanks!" I told him smiling. I wondered if I had any other single friends that I could set him up with. I watched him walk away and took a minute to collect myself and get my mind back on track and back on the man that I had brought as a date.
It was time for me to buck up and start enjoying the evening like I intended to.
"Can we talk?"
I froze hearing his voice behind me and was torn between turning like my body told me to and walking away as if I hadn't heard him. My body won.
"About what?" I asked standing near him for the first time all night.
"Can I just have a minute, outside maybe?"
I didn't want to do this right now. Not after I had finally worked out in my mind that I owed it to myself and my date not to concern myself with Sidney the whole night.
"No, not tonight."
He didn't look pleased with this answer if the sole, bulging cord on his neck was any indication. "Just 5 minutes" he told me taking a step closer as if to intimidate me with his size.
"No" I stressed the word wondering why this needed to be discussed right now. Couldn't it wait until after tonight?
Both of us were angry and I could practically feel the air crackle between us thanks to the frustrated energy now bubbling over.
"What is your problem?" he hissed at me shushing me before the outraged noise could errupt from my mouth.
"My problem? My problem? Are you insane Crosby?" This time I didn't bother to keep my voice down elliciting confused looks from those arond us.
"Keep your voice down" he hissed sliding back into Sidney Crosby: popular NHL player and master of not making a scene rather than the Sidney I needed him to be. A Sidney that would admit that he was wrong and leave me alone for awhile.
"I can't deal with you right now" I stated taking a big step back, almost bumping into Kris Letang who looked embarrassed to be caught in the crossfire. I apologized before scooting around him in the crowd looking for an escape. I just needed air. Once I had air, I would be able to go back inside. Out on the Guerin's enormous backyard patio, I felt better letting the cold air rush over me and instantly cool me off.
"Em, seriously, let's go back inside. It's freezing out here."
Rolling my eyes, I turned to where Sidney was standing, partially hidden by the shadows. He still looked angry at me which I was fine with. I was still angry at him too. "I need air."
"Okay, so take some air. Just don't freeze to death" he said slipping out of his blazer and holding it out to me.
"Okay, I won't freeze to death. You can leave now" I stated wishing now more than anything that he would finally leave me be. Funny how the one person you find yourself always wanting to be around can also be the one person to make you physically wish to leave your own skin just to get some distance from them sometimes.
"Why are you being so stubborn? I realize that I was an ass for not-"
"Ass doesn't even begin to cover it, Sidney" I deadpanned.
"Well maybe I would be able to explain if you didn't keep interrupting me."
We were both close to yelling at each other again and I didn't like the look in his eyes. He looked at me like I was Ovechkin or something.
"Could you please leave me alone?" I asked again, almost pleading with him now.
"No. We need to talk" he stated again crossing to where I was standing. I stared down at the hands that were flexing by his sides before they reached out to grasp my elbows and hold me gently in place. "Leave with me?"
My stomach fluttered at the intensity of his voice and I had to take a deep breath before shaking my head no. "I'm here with someone else" I reminded him, my thoughts darting back to Brian for the first time in 10 minutes.
"You don't have to be" Sidney said surprising me with the sudden slyness of his voice.
"Yes, I do." I tried to break free of his hands but to no avail. I was still locked firmly in place it seemed with barely any effort on his part to hold me there.
"No you don't" he stated again. The self-assurance in his voice was unbelievably arrogant and triggered my pent up anger like nothing else.
"What was that for?" he asked finally dropping his hold on my arms to clutch at his now stinging cheek. As far as I was concerned, he deserved to be slapped for his know it all attitude- among other things.
"Nothing that you don't deserve" I told him taking twisted delight in the way his eyes sparked back at me.
Not saying another word, he grasped my hand tightly with the authority a mother might take with a petulant child and dragged me back inside despite my protests. He gave me just enough time to frantically look for Eliza or Vero, anyone who would help me out. Eliza spotted me first and I looked to her for help but instead she smiled and waved then turned her back on me.
I didn't even have my purse as Sidney ignored everyone else and led me out the door into the cold night.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Chapter 28
Sorry guys! This is necessary filler that will hopefully help you guys better understand what's going on. I know that people are confused why Sid is playing hot and cold with Emma but these two are complicated characters and this is important to where they are going.
Don't worry, it's about to get fun when Emma starts to mess with him :)
Emma's POV:
The flight home from Nova Scotia was so uneventful that even days later, I still didn't have much to say even though both Eliza and Vero were pressing me for details.
"Seriously, even Max wants to know what happened over Christmas! He said Sid's been even more terrible than usual and then I have to listen to him bitch about it" Eliza stated taking a sip of her drink.
Since I had nothing really to say about those three days in Nova Scotia, besides the fact that his family had been great, I had been avoiding everyone just so that I didn't have to talk about it. Until now, because somehow Vero had convinced me that we needed a girl's night out instead of watching the Pens game like we usually did.
"Seriously, it's not that big of a deal. I think we were finally coming to an agreement and getting somewhere and then all of the sudden he acts like it never happened and now we're back here." I was trying to play it off like it was no big deal. Maybe if I lied enough to everyone else then I could trick myself into believing the shit I was actually saying.
"Wait, wait, wait" Eliza said holding up her hand to stop me. "What do you mean that 'you were getting somewhere?" she questioned looking decidedly happy. "Did you guys finally get around to having sex?!"
I winced in embarrassment from how loud she had said the last part and shrunk down in my chair. Not everyone in the bar needed to hear that I may or may not have having sex.
"No, we didn't" I hissed trying to knock the smug looks off of their faces. Just because they were both having amazing sex with men that loved them didn't mean that we had to talk about how I wasn't. God, when was the last time that I had had sex anyway?
The thought was disturbing.
"We were close at one point but we didn't have sex" I confessed.
"Well, who stopped it from going too far?" Vero questioned.
Wait, who had stopped it? I didn't actually remember anymore even though it was just a couple of days ago. Was it mutual? Hadn't we both put the brakes on?
"I don't actually remember" I confessed staring back at the looks of disbelief on their faces. Once again, it was obvious that they just weren't going to understand. Did they even remember how awkward and difficult it was at the beginning of a new relationship? "That's not the important part. The important part is that afterwards we talked and agreed to see where the relationship would blossom. Then we go to sleep, wake up, have a great day together and then wham. All of the sudden he doesn't even want to talk or look at me."
"So it just happened like that? Without anything that would have triggered a fight?"
Believe me Vero, I'm just as confused as you are.
"Yes! We didn't talk the entire way back, grabbed our bags at the baggage claim, said 'see you later' and went off on our separate ways. I still have no idea what happened to make him change his mind so suddenly and maybe it's better that I don't know."
We all sat in silence for a moment and I wanted another drink. Maybe some grain alcohol would do the trick. Even Sidney Crosby wasn't infallible in the face of grain alcohol.
"I hate to say it but I think that this is a classic case of Sidney being Sidney" Eliza stated. Vero nodded along wisely but I had no idea what she was talking about. Was 'Sidney' it's own defined word now and I was supposed to understand exactly what that meant?
"What?"
"Okay, we all agree that Sidney is pretty much the most noble guy that we all know, correct?" Eliza verified. "Well I think that this is a classic case of Sidney trying to be Sidney and protect you or something like that."
"What?" I asked blinking at her in disbelief. "That's ridiculous. What could he possibly be protecting me from? It's not like I don't know who and what he is. We've been friends for years!"
"Well Sidney wouldn't think of it like that- he would think that he's protecting you" Vero stated.
"But from what? What could he possibly be protecting me from? I already know that he thinks about hockey 99 percent of the time and that he travels all of the time too. What else is there that would really be a deal breaker for me?"
"Well for most other women, those would be big deal breakers sweetie. Maybe Sid just doesn't know that those aren't dealbreakers for you."
What she said made sense but it didn't make it any less hurtful or any less stupid. If what she said was true, then who was he to decide what was best for me? I would have thought that he would recognize by now that only I made decisions about my life- no one else, especially not him.
"What an asshole!" I exclaimed drinking back the contents of my margarita. Jose Cuervo was becoming one of my good friends tonight. "How can he just decide this without even talking to me first! We agreed to talk!"
"Honey, I know you're mad and everything but-" I cut Eliza off with a glare.
"Don't 'but' me or try to defend him. He's an asshole." I was completely furious with him for just brushing me aside like this and with myself for actually getting my hopes up and believing that something good could come from being with Sidney. He would never LET anything good happen between us.
"Just talk to him" Vero suggested. "We're all going to the Guerin's for New Years Eve and I don't want you two being awkward or fighting the whole time."
Great, New Years. I had almost forgotten all about that and now, regardless of what Eliza and Vero wanted, it would be awkward between Sidney and I and I would be ringing in the New Year alone, once again.
"Can I bring a date with me?" I asked suddenly getting an idea and running with it. Did I really have to be alone this year? Even getting to know someone new would be more fun than sulking in a corner or pretending that I really didn't care about him all night. Wouldn't someone else be the perfect distraction for me?
"Em, I'm not sure that that's the best idea right now" Eliza said hesitantly glancing to Vero for support. "I mean, you two still need to sit down and talk and-"
"Em, you'd only be dragging someone else in between you and Sid but that doesn't actually fix anything" Vero added obviously trying to drum some reason into me.
"No, actually it does fix things. It will show him once and for all that he can't just drag me around and expect that I'll be grateful to him for 'protecting' me."
In fact, this might just be the best idea that I've had in a long time.
Sid's POV:
"What the fuck happened to you over Christmas?" Staalsy questioned whipping his wet towel into my face. "Even you're not normally this uptight."
"Fuck off" I told him pulling my practice jersey up over my head. I was trying not to keep track of the number of times that I had snarled at someone in the past two days but it was getting harder and harder not to notice that that was becoming my primary form of communication.
"No seriously, you're a mess" Talbot commented sitting down in his stall next to mine. "Did something happen with your Dad?"
"No, just drop it" I asked him, hoping to get out of there early today and spend the rest of the day cooling off and not thinking about Emma.
"Well then cut the attitude" Max advised looking around at the rest of the guys changing in the locker room. "It's bad enough that we've lost two games in a row, we don't need our captain biting our heads off on top of that."
He had a point. I was so distracted by everything going on in my own life that for one of the first times in a long time, my personal life was affecting my professional life and I had zero patience for those around me. Selfishness wasn't exactly a good trait for a captain to have.
"You need to get laid" Staalsy stated pulling his t-shirt over his head. Of course it was that simple for him. He was a great player and member of the team but he was never hounded by the media or forced to hold press conferences like I was. He could have the professional life and the personal life and do both without huge complications- I couldn't.
It was also a problem that the only woman I wanted to be with right now was the same woman I was pushing away. Just picturing her again laughing with my family or talking to Taylor in the kitchen, warm eyes sparkling and sunny smile, set me on edge all over again leaving me back at square one.
I still wanted her and I couldn't have her. Though I hadn't seen her in a couple of days, I was positive that she hated me for how I had left everything.
"Take your own advice and leave the Kid alone" Talbo said stepping in and flicking Jordan with his own towel. Once it was relatively clear around us, Max spoke up.
"So let me guess. You did something to piss Emma off and now she won't talk to you?" For once in his life, Max knew when to keep his voice level down and I had to give it up to Eliza for having such a good influence on him these past few years.
"In a nutshell, yes. There's more to it than that but yeah, pretty much."
"Well what are you going to do about it?" he asked. "We're all tired of you acting like a little bitch just because you screwed things up. Go talk to her" he pressed.
The last thing I wanted to do was piss her off more but I knew I wasn't helping matters by not talking to her either. Glancing at my watch, I saw that it was close to lunch time. If I could catch her on her lunch break or get her to have dinner with me tonight, we could clear the air a little bit and get things back to the way they were.
Max grinned and announced to the rest of the guys in the room that he had fixed the problem and left me alone to get dressed. Maybe it wasn't fixed but it was definitely on its way to getting better.
Hopefully.
Don't worry, it's about to get fun when Emma starts to mess with him :)
Emma's POV:
The flight home from Nova Scotia was so uneventful that even days later, I still didn't have much to say even though both Eliza and Vero were pressing me for details.
"Seriously, even Max wants to know what happened over Christmas! He said Sid's been even more terrible than usual and then I have to listen to him bitch about it" Eliza stated taking a sip of her drink.
Since I had nothing really to say about those three days in Nova Scotia, besides the fact that his family had been great, I had been avoiding everyone just so that I didn't have to talk about it. Until now, because somehow Vero had convinced me that we needed a girl's night out instead of watching the Pens game like we usually did.
"Seriously, it's not that big of a deal. I think we were finally coming to an agreement and getting somewhere and then all of the sudden he acts like it never happened and now we're back here." I was trying to play it off like it was no big deal. Maybe if I lied enough to everyone else then I could trick myself into believing the shit I was actually saying.
"Wait, wait, wait" Eliza said holding up her hand to stop me. "What do you mean that 'you were getting somewhere?" she questioned looking decidedly happy. "Did you guys finally get around to having sex?!"
I winced in embarrassment from how loud she had said the last part and shrunk down in my chair. Not everyone in the bar needed to hear that I may or may not have having sex.
"No, we didn't" I hissed trying to knock the smug looks off of their faces. Just because they were both having amazing sex with men that loved them didn't mean that we had to talk about how I wasn't. God, when was the last time that I had had sex anyway?
The thought was disturbing.
"We were close at one point but we didn't have sex" I confessed.
"Well, who stopped it from going too far?" Vero questioned.
Wait, who had stopped it? I didn't actually remember anymore even though it was just a couple of days ago. Was it mutual? Hadn't we both put the brakes on?
"I don't actually remember" I confessed staring back at the looks of disbelief on their faces. Once again, it was obvious that they just weren't going to understand. Did they even remember how awkward and difficult it was at the beginning of a new relationship? "That's not the important part. The important part is that afterwards we talked and agreed to see where the relationship would blossom. Then we go to sleep, wake up, have a great day together and then wham. All of the sudden he doesn't even want to talk or look at me."
"So it just happened like that? Without anything that would have triggered a fight?"
Believe me Vero, I'm just as confused as you are.
"Yes! We didn't talk the entire way back, grabbed our bags at the baggage claim, said 'see you later' and went off on our separate ways. I still have no idea what happened to make him change his mind so suddenly and maybe it's better that I don't know."
We all sat in silence for a moment and I wanted another drink. Maybe some grain alcohol would do the trick. Even Sidney Crosby wasn't infallible in the face of grain alcohol.
"I hate to say it but I think that this is a classic case of Sidney being Sidney" Eliza stated. Vero nodded along wisely but I had no idea what she was talking about. Was 'Sidney' it's own defined word now and I was supposed to understand exactly what that meant?
"What?"
"Okay, we all agree that Sidney is pretty much the most noble guy that we all know, correct?" Eliza verified. "Well I think that this is a classic case of Sidney trying to be Sidney and protect you or something like that."
"What?" I asked blinking at her in disbelief. "That's ridiculous. What could he possibly be protecting me from? It's not like I don't know who and what he is. We've been friends for years!"
"Well Sidney wouldn't think of it like that- he would think that he's protecting you" Vero stated.
"But from what? What could he possibly be protecting me from? I already know that he thinks about hockey 99 percent of the time and that he travels all of the time too. What else is there that would really be a deal breaker for me?"
"Well for most other women, those would be big deal breakers sweetie. Maybe Sid just doesn't know that those aren't dealbreakers for you."
What she said made sense but it didn't make it any less hurtful or any less stupid. If what she said was true, then who was he to decide what was best for me? I would have thought that he would recognize by now that only I made decisions about my life- no one else, especially not him.
"What an asshole!" I exclaimed drinking back the contents of my margarita. Jose Cuervo was becoming one of my good friends tonight. "How can he just decide this without even talking to me first! We agreed to talk!"
"Honey, I know you're mad and everything but-" I cut Eliza off with a glare.
"Don't 'but' me or try to defend him. He's an asshole." I was completely furious with him for just brushing me aside like this and with myself for actually getting my hopes up and believing that something good could come from being with Sidney. He would never LET anything good happen between us.
"Just talk to him" Vero suggested. "We're all going to the Guerin's for New Years Eve and I don't want you two being awkward or fighting the whole time."
Great, New Years. I had almost forgotten all about that and now, regardless of what Eliza and Vero wanted, it would be awkward between Sidney and I and I would be ringing in the New Year alone, once again.
"Can I bring a date with me?" I asked suddenly getting an idea and running with it. Did I really have to be alone this year? Even getting to know someone new would be more fun than sulking in a corner or pretending that I really didn't care about him all night. Wouldn't someone else be the perfect distraction for me?
"Em, I'm not sure that that's the best idea right now" Eliza said hesitantly glancing to Vero for support. "I mean, you two still need to sit down and talk and-"
"Em, you'd only be dragging someone else in between you and Sid but that doesn't actually fix anything" Vero added obviously trying to drum some reason into me.
"No, actually it does fix things. It will show him once and for all that he can't just drag me around and expect that I'll be grateful to him for 'protecting' me."
In fact, this might just be the best idea that I've had in a long time.
Sid's POV:
"What the fuck happened to you over Christmas?" Staalsy questioned whipping his wet towel into my face. "Even you're not normally this uptight."
"Fuck off" I told him pulling my practice jersey up over my head. I was trying not to keep track of the number of times that I had snarled at someone in the past two days but it was getting harder and harder not to notice that that was becoming my primary form of communication.
"No seriously, you're a mess" Talbot commented sitting down in his stall next to mine. "Did something happen with your Dad?"
"No, just drop it" I asked him, hoping to get out of there early today and spend the rest of the day cooling off and not thinking about Emma.
"Well then cut the attitude" Max advised looking around at the rest of the guys changing in the locker room. "It's bad enough that we've lost two games in a row, we don't need our captain biting our heads off on top of that."
He had a point. I was so distracted by everything going on in my own life that for one of the first times in a long time, my personal life was affecting my professional life and I had zero patience for those around me. Selfishness wasn't exactly a good trait for a captain to have.
"You need to get laid" Staalsy stated pulling his t-shirt over his head. Of course it was that simple for him. He was a great player and member of the team but he was never hounded by the media or forced to hold press conferences like I was. He could have the professional life and the personal life and do both without huge complications- I couldn't.
It was also a problem that the only woman I wanted to be with right now was the same woman I was pushing away. Just picturing her again laughing with my family or talking to Taylor in the kitchen, warm eyes sparkling and sunny smile, set me on edge all over again leaving me back at square one.
I still wanted her and I couldn't have her. Though I hadn't seen her in a couple of days, I was positive that she hated me for how I had left everything.
"Take your own advice and leave the Kid alone" Talbo said stepping in and flicking Jordan with his own towel. Once it was relatively clear around us, Max spoke up.
"So let me guess. You did something to piss Emma off and now she won't talk to you?" For once in his life, Max knew when to keep his voice level down and I had to give it up to Eliza for having such a good influence on him these past few years.
"In a nutshell, yes. There's more to it than that but yeah, pretty much."
"Well what are you going to do about it?" he asked. "We're all tired of you acting like a little bitch just because you screwed things up. Go talk to her" he pressed.
The last thing I wanted to do was piss her off more but I knew I wasn't helping matters by not talking to her either. Glancing at my watch, I saw that it was close to lunch time. If I could catch her on her lunch break or get her to have dinner with me tonight, we could clear the air a little bit and get things back to the way they were.
Max grinned and announced to the rest of the guys in the room that he had fixed the problem and left me alone to get dressed. Maybe it wasn't fixed but it was definitely on its way to getting better.
Hopefully.
Chapter 27
Oh ladies, how your comments cheer me up! Everyone's reactions to Sid's douchebaggery and Emma's cluelessness was what I needed to keep writing. You're all hilarious, Enjoy :)
Hopefully this chapter completes the last one a little bit better and fills in some of the gaps!
Emma's POV:
My mind was still reeling from the previous night's event and the epic forehead kiss as Sidney and I both said goodbye to his parents and Taylor at the airport.
"Come visit again soon, okay?" Taylor mumbled as she hugged me tightly. I took this as a good sign that somehow over the past three days, I had won her over.
"We'll see each other soon" I promised squeezing her back. "You're coming down in a few weeks right?"
She nodded and let me go turning me over to Trina. "We'll be down to visit Sid in February. It would be great to see you while we're there" Trina commented squeezing me tightly like Taylor had and making it that much harder to say goodbye to them.
"We'll definitely have to catch a game together" I said trying to keep a smile on my face. Being with them was like being with a real family and even though I would always have the Lemieuxs, these past couple of days with the Crosbys had just felt different. More special somehow.
"Ready to leave?" Sidney asked setting a brief hand on my lower back. It was the closest he had come to touching me all morning and though he liked to pretend that I couldn't tell, he had put up a wall between us for no reason. At least not for a reason that actually made sense.
"Sure, thanks for having me Mr. Crosby" I said grinning and sticking out my hand for him to shake. He looked at it sternly for a moment but I knew he was only trying to mess with me. He grinned back and shook my hand pulling me into a brief and unexpected hug. For such a large, scary looking man, he was actually just a big softie.
"You'll keep an eye on him won't you Emma?" Troy joked looking over to Sid and winking.
Imagine that, Troy Crosby actually winked and joked with his son. This family was amazing.
"Uh, they're calling our flight" Sidney said blushing slightly and looking anxious to depart his family. I knew for a fact that our flight didn't leave for another 45 minutes but I overlooked this in favor of maybe having a few minutes alone with him and figure out what had triggered his strange mood.
After one last goodbye, Sidney and I began the quick process of getting through security (thanks to his famous name) and disappeared on the other side of the gate where we would catch our flight. I noticed that Sidney pulled his hat down lower over his face and slouched his shoulders slightly in an effort to go unnoticed. The idea that he could pretend to be someone else in a part of Canada where he was literally worshipped was laughable.
Adorable even.
I was still high off of how wonderful this weekend had turned out and wanted to point out all of the funny things I was observing in the airport but Sidney's silent demeanor prevented me from opening my mouth. We continued to walk to our gate and both plopped down unloading our bags at our feet.
Something was definitely up. He hadn't touched me save for the brief hand on my back this morning but that didn't count considering it was mostly to push me along in the airport. He hadn't even kissed me.
"Is everything okay?" I questioned looking at him pointedly not looking at me. I thought that we had finally reached some sort of understanding between us and it had definitely seemed like we had agreed to see where things went between us. But now....?
"Yeah, why?" he questioned leaning down to pull out a magazine from the top of his duffel bag.
"No reason" I stated dryly. It was hard not to notice that he was trying to ignore me for doing something that I was unaware of. I stared at him for another moment willing his eyes to meet mine and smile. Anything to reassure me that there wasn't something wrong with us already- before we could even claim to have really started.
"I'm going for a walk" I announced even though I wasn't sure that he cared. He nodded slightly and I knew that he had at least noticed that I was walking away from him.
Now a safe distance away, I took the time to use the restroom and feel some level of comfort from being in room designated solely to women. No presence of men, no male voices, no reminders of how even the good ones usually turned out to be assholes. Just the solace of being in a quiet room where men were explicitly not supposed to be.
I was achieving a better, zen like state until I noticed that two teenagers had walked in and were in fact babbling on and on about their boyfriends and something cute that one of them had done. My zone had been breached by talk of the enemy. Great.
Sighing I glanced down at my watch noting that I still had about 20 minutes until the plane would begin to board. Since I didn't actually feel like spending that time with Sidney, I walked off in search of a magazine stand. Nothing like the lives of others to distract you from your own problems.
Sid's POV:
It sucked but I felt like I was doing the right thing by putting some space between us.
She thought that I didn't notice her leave but living under a baseball hat for the past couple of years had enabled me to see more than most people could while trying to remain anonymous. I hadn't thought that it would feel as shitty as it did to see her walk away, even just for a magazine, but it had. It felt like shit and I was a piece of shit for not having the guts to talk to her.
Instead I was letting her think that something was wrong with her when really the problem was with me. I had been pushing her, pushing both of us in one direction, and now I was unexpectedly pulling back- and she didn't have a clue why.
Still, this felt like the right thing to do, this whole putting space between us deal. Emma bounced back from things quickly and wasn't vindictive enough to hold a real grudge. The closest she had ever come to really being mad at me was a few years ago before we were even really friends and I didn't think that that counted. Even if she was mad or confused initially, it would be better than letting things really develop between us and then hurt her later down the road.
Our plane would be leaving soon and I spotted her walking back to the gate, an armful of magazines in hand as she spoke to someone on the phone. Even though I knew that I was a coward, I was relieved that whoever was talking to her on the phone sounded as if they were keeping her busy. Once we were on the plane, I could pretend to sleep the whole way back.
Emma's POV:
My mom called.
Of course she would call on what was quickly becoming my least favorite day of the year. Of course.
"Hey mom!" I answered feigning excitement like I had trained myself to do over the past few years.
"Merry Christmas!" she greeted me sounding remarkably happy. But then again, she was off somewhere with her new boyfriend and didn't have any real problems to plague her life. At least none that she would actually address anyway.
"Did you enjoy your time with Nathalie and Mario?" she questioned. I heard a male voice murmuring in the background and I took that as a sign that she was indeed with her new boyfriend.
"I actually didn't spend the holiday in Pittsburgh this year" I told her. I could have sworn that I had told her this awhile ago but since long spans of time usually passed between when we talked, I couldn't be completely sure.
"Oh?" she questioned curiously.
"I'm actually flying back to Pittsburgh now- I spent the holidays with a friend at their house" I explained turning down the volume on my voice as I got closer to Sidney and took a seat near him. I let my purse sit on the seat between us putting some much needed distance there. It wasn't as if he noticed anyway considering his eyes were still trained on the magazine in front of him.
"Oh that's nice!" she said breezily. I almost wanted to smile from how familiar this conversation was. Even though I always had something new to say- her responses never varied. In a twisted way, this was comforting in my current situation.
"Has your father called you?" she questioned suddenly surprising me with the degree of motherly interest in her voice. I hadn't heard that from her in.... a very long time.
"Um no, is something wrong?" Even though it was Christmas, I certainly was not waiting around for a phone call from him. I knew that eventually he would call for some reason or another but I certainly wasn't expecting a call from him on Christmas. It was enough that he had actually sent me a card this year and a set of earrings that I was contemplating returning anyway.
Strange as it was, even though the earrings were beautiful, they were yet another cold reminder of how my own parents didn't know me well enough to buy a gift that would require time and care. Still, I had to appreciate the effort that he or his secretary spent on picking them out.
"No, nothing's wrong, I just wondered if he called." It was odd how nonchalant she was being but I couldn't decide if I should probe or just let it go. It was probably better that I not ask and just take her word for it.
"Well he hasn't yet but you know Dad. There's a time difference and he'll get around to calling eventually. I can tell him hi for you if you want" I offered.
"Oh, that's not necessary sweetheart but thank you all the same."
"Okay, well I hope you're having a good holiday" I told her at a loss of what else there was to say. She had already lost interest in the conversation and so had I- so what else was I supposed to say.
Sidney had finally looked up and I watched him stare at the space between us taken up by my bag. Yeah, now you notice you jerk. Our plane was boarding and that was the excuse that I needed to get off of the phone with my mother. Once I was on the plane, I fully intended to take Sidney's cue, plug in my iPod and distract myself with magazines until we were back in Pittsburgh. Thank god I had driven myself to the airport.
As my mom and I said our goodbyes and the obligatory "I love you" and "I love you too," I marveled over saying goodbye to her hadn't affected nearly as much as saying goodbye to the Crosbys had.
Who had I become that I was now the girl who felt almost zero attachment to her birth mother and a stronger attachment to a woman that she had only known for three days? I looked over at Sidney as he stood up and picked up his duffle bag, glancing at me for the first time in an hour.
"The plane's boarding" he stated obviously. His voice wasn't devoid of emotion but it still wasn't him either. In fact, if I didn't know better at this point in our long and complicated friendship/whatever, I would think that he actually looked guilty. Sad even.
Who were either of us right now?
Hopefully this chapter completes the last one a little bit better and fills in some of the gaps!
Emma's POV:
My mind was still reeling from the previous night's event and the epic forehead kiss as Sidney and I both said goodbye to his parents and Taylor at the airport.
"Come visit again soon, okay?" Taylor mumbled as she hugged me tightly. I took this as a good sign that somehow over the past three days, I had won her over.
"We'll see each other soon" I promised squeezing her back. "You're coming down in a few weeks right?"
She nodded and let me go turning me over to Trina. "We'll be down to visit Sid in February. It would be great to see you while we're there" Trina commented squeezing me tightly like Taylor had and making it that much harder to say goodbye to them.
"We'll definitely have to catch a game together" I said trying to keep a smile on my face. Being with them was like being with a real family and even though I would always have the Lemieuxs, these past couple of days with the Crosbys had just felt different. More special somehow.
"Ready to leave?" Sidney asked setting a brief hand on my lower back. It was the closest he had come to touching me all morning and though he liked to pretend that I couldn't tell, he had put up a wall between us for no reason. At least not for a reason that actually made sense.
"Sure, thanks for having me Mr. Crosby" I said grinning and sticking out my hand for him to shake. He looked at it sternly for a moment but I knew he was only trying to mess with me. He grinned back and shook my hand pulling me into a brief and unexpected hug. For such a large, scary looking man, he was actually just a big softie.
"You'll keep an eye on him won't you Emma?" Troy joked looking over to Sid and winking.
Imagine that, Troy Crosby actually winked and joked with his son. This family was amazing.
"Uh, they're calling our flight" Sidney said blushing slightly and looking anxious to depart his family. I knew for a fact that our flight didn't leave for another 45 minutes but I overlooked this in favor of maybe having a few minutes alone with him and figure out what had triggered his strange mood.
After one last goodbye, Sidney and I began the quick process of getting through security (thanks to his famous name) and disappeared on the other side of the gate where we would catch our flight. I noticed that Sidney pulled his hat down lower over his face and slouched his shoulders slightly in an effort to go unnoticed. The idea that he could pretend to be someone else in a part of Canada where he was literally worshipped was laughable.
Adorable even.
I was still high off of how wonderful this weekend had turned out and wanted to point out all of the funny things I was observing in the airport but Sidney's silent demeanor prevented me from opening my mouth. We continued to walk to our gate and both plopped down unloading our bags at our feet.
Something was definitely up. He hadn't touched me save for the brief hand on my back this morning but that didn't count considering it was mostly to push me along in the airport. He hadn't even kissed me.
"Is everything okay?" I questioned looking at him pointedly not looking at me. I thought that we had finally reached some sort of understanding between us and it had definitely seemed like we had agreed to see where things went between us. But now....?
"Yeah, why?" he questioned leaning down to pull out a magazine from the top of his duffel bag.
"No reason" I stated dryly. It was hard not to notice that he was trying to ignore me for doing something that I was unaware of. I stared at him for another moment willing his eyes to meet mine and smile. Anything to reassure me that there wasn't something wrong with us already- before we could even claim to have really started.
"I'm going for a walk" I announced even though I wasn't sure that he cared. He nodded slightly and I knew that he had at least noticed that I was walking away from him.
Now a safe distance away, I took the time to use the restroom and feel some level of comfort from being in room designated solely to women. No presence of men, no male voices, no reminders of how even the good ones usually turned out to be assholes. Just the solace of being in a quiet room where men were explicitly not supposed to be.
I was achieving a better, zen like state until I noticed that two teenagers had walked in and were in fact babbling on and on about their boyfriends and something cute that one of them had done. My zone had been breached by talk of the enemy. Great.
Sighing I glanced down at my watch noting that I still had about 20 minutes until the plane would begin to board. Since I didn't actually feel like spending that time with Sidney, I walked off in search of a magazine stand. Nothing like the lives of others to distract you from your own problems.
Sid's POV:
It sucked but I felt like I was doing the right thing by putting some space between us.
She thought that I didn't notice her leave but living under a baseball hat for the past couple of years had enabled me to see more than most people could while trying to remain anonymous. I hadn't thought that it would feel as shitty as it did to see her walk away, even just for a magazine, but it had. It felt like shit and I was a piece of shit for not having the guts to talk to her.
Instead I was letting her think that something was wrong with her when really the problem was with me. I had been pushing her, pushing both of us in one direction, and now I was unexpectedly pulling back- and she didn't have a clue why.
Still, this felt like the right thing to do, this whole putting space between us deal. Emma bounced back from things quickly and wasn't vindictive enough to hold a real grudge. The closest she had ever come to really being mad at me was a few years ago before we were even really friends and I didn't think that that counted. Even if she was mad or confused initially, it would be better than letting things really develop between us and then hurt her later down the road.
Our plane would be leaving soon and I spotted her walking back to the gate, an armful of magazines in hand as she spoke to someone on the phone. Even though I knew that I was a coward, I was relieved that whoever was talking to her on the phone sounded as if they were keeping her busy. Once we were on the plane, I could pretend to sleep the whole way back.
Emma's POV:
My mom called.
Of course she would call on what was quickly becoming my least favorite day of the year. Of course.
"Hey mom!" I answered feigning excitement like I had trained myself to do over the past few years.
"Merry Christmas!" she greeted me sounding remarkably happy. But then again, she was off somewhere with her new boyfriend and didn't have any real problems to plague her life. At least none that she would actually address anyway.
"Did you enjoy your time with Nathalie and Mario?" she questioned. I heard a male voice murmuring in the background and I took that as a sign that she was indeed with her new boyfriend.
"I actually didn't spend the holiday in Pittsburgh this year" I told her. I could have sworn that I had told her this awhile ago but since long spans of time usually passed between when we talked, I couldn't be completely sure.
"Oh?" she questioned curiously.
"I'm actually flying back to Pittsburgh now- I spent the holidays with a friend at their house" I explained turning down the volume on my voice as I got closer to Sidney and took a seat near him. I let my purse sit on the seat between us putting some much needed distance there. It wasn't as if he noticed anyway considering his eyes were still trained on the magazine in front of him.
"Oh that's nice!" she said breezily. I almost wanted to smile from how familiar this conversation was. Even though I always had something new to say- her responses never varied. In a twisted way, this was comforting in my current situation.
"Has your father called you?" she questioned suddenly surprising me with the degree of motherly interest in her voice. I hadn't heard that from her in.... a very long time.
"Um no, is something wrong?" Even though it was Christmas, I certainly was not waiting around for a phone call from him. I knew that eventually he would call for some reason or another but I certainly wasn't expecting a call from him on Christmas. It was enough that he had actually sent me a card this year and a set of earrings that I was contemplating returning anyway.
Strange as it was, even though the earrings were beautiful, they were yet another cold reminder of how my own parents didn't know me well enough to buy a gift that would require time and care. Still, I had to appreciate the effort that he or his secretary spent on picking them out.
"No, nothing's wrong, I just wondered if he called." It was odd how nonchalant she was being but I couldn't decide if I should probe or just let it go. It was probably better that I not ask and just take her word for it.
"Well he hasn't yet but you know Dad. There's a time difference and he'll get around to calling eventually. I can tell him hi for you if you want" I offered.
"Oh, that's not necessary sweetheart but thank you all the same."
"Okay, well I hope you're having a good holiday" I told her at a loss of what else there was to say. She had already lost interest in the conversation and so had I- so what else was I supposed to say.
Sidney had finally looked up and I watched him stare at the space between us taken up by my bag. Yeah, now you notice you jerk. Our plane was boarding and that was the excuse that I needed to get off of the phone with my mother. Once I was on the plane, I fully intended to take Sidney's cue, plug in my iPod and distract myself with magazines until we were back in Pittsburgh. Thank god I had driven myself to the airport.
As my mom and I said our goodbyes and the obligatory "I love you" and "I love you too," I marveled over saying goodbye to her hadn't affected nearly as much as saying goodbye to the Crosbys had.
Who had I become that I was now the girl who felt almost zero attachment to her birth mother and a stronger attachment to a woman that she had only known for three days? I looked over at Sidney as he stood up and picked up his duffle bag, glancing at me for the first time in an hour.
"The plane's boarding" he stated obviously. His voice wasn't devoid of emotion but it still wasn't him either. In fact, if I didn't know better at this point in our long and complicated friendship/whatever, I would think that he actually looked guilty. Sad even.
Who were either of us right now?
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Chapter 26
Sorry any posting has been late. It's taken me forever to decide the next course of action for this story and due to recent personal drama, I haven't been in the mood to write about characters with successful love lives or men that are actually NICE. Aka, I'm seriously considering becoming assexual from now on. Sound like a plan?
P.S. I didn't proof this so read at your own risk!
Sid's POV:
My pride hurt like a bitch as I quickly pulled myself back to my feet and stared disdainfully at the smug looking puck resting in goal. A body slid forcefully into mine and I recognized Em's red hair hanging out of her helmet as she patted me down to make sure that I was okay.
"I am so sorry!" she said turning me partially to wipe ice off of my back and I almost believed that she was sincere until I heard the giggles muffled only by the helmet on her head.
"Yeah, sure." I said ignoring the hysterical laughter of the rest of my family. I realized that I was in for a long night of puns and torture from my family.
"So, she's really knocked you off your feet, hasn't she Sid?" my Uncle John said coming over to pat Em on the back and make a fool out of me by winking obviously for the two of us to see. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
"You're not mad, are you?" Em asked looking up at me with big eyes and an innocent smile on her face. The smug look in her eyes is what gave away the truth- inside she was loving the fact that she had beaten me at what was truly my own game.
Was I actually mad? No. Did I maybe want to milk this for what it was worth? Yes.
"I don't know, I think I might have done something to my back" I said wincing for effect and watching her eyes widen in surprise.
"Really?!" she said grabbing my side and turning me. Between my padding and warm clothes, her hands were never going to get to where I wanted them- on my skin. Especially in front of my family.
"It's nothing" I said shrugging her off, slightly embarrassed by the way my body wanted to react to her touch. "Lets just get out of here."
Her face deflated a little bit more and I realized that I sounded angry rather than just sexually frustrated. Damn it.
Taylor was still gloating and congratulating Em for her goal and the two of them were led away by the rest of her team off to the benches to remove their skates. Now instead of reassuring her that I was really okay, I was coming off like a complete asshole. Way to go, Crosby.
As I watched her, I was beginning to notice how well she seemed to fit in with my family and how quickly they had trusted her and welcomed her into our small circle.
Even my Dad, who normally expected me to keep women at arm's length during the season, seemed to be giving me all of the signs that I would be crazy not to snatch Emma up. If that wasn't significant, then I didn't know how much more obvious they could be about telling me that they liked and approved of her.
But then again, watching my family surround her had me feeling anxious all of the sudden. I had originally brought her home with me because we were friends- thus eliminating me from pressure. But then again, who was I kidding? Had Emma and I ever been completely just friends?
Now that something was actually developing between us, her being here was suddenly complicated- complicated further by the fact that everyone in my family had given their approval, including my parents.
This wasn't just a 'I'm bringing a friend home with me for a holiday' sort of thing but rather a 'Here's someone that I have a relationship with' sort of thing. It was obvious just how happy being around my family had made her in the past couple of days and how much she had opened up to them.
That was another thing that worried me. Was it fair to Emma to let this relationship develop knowing that I would never be able to be there for her all of the time or provide her with the stability that she craved?
I was ridiculously attracted to her and I couldn't remember a time during our friendship that I hadn't wanted her, even while I was busy distracting myself with other women and suppressing my attraction to her with boatloads of denial.
Still, none of this really mattered if I wound up hurting her along the way and if I continued to let a relationship pan out between us.
Emma's POV:
I tried not to let it show that Sidney acting like a jerk had dampened my mood at all after scoring what was frankly, a miracle goal.
"Seriously, that was one of the most amazing and funniest things that I've ever seen!" Taylor was still dramatically retelling the momentary glory of my goal and enjoying the mental image of her hockey star brother getting creamed by another girl.
I looked over to see what the hockey star in question was doing and met his gaze, already watching me remove my skates. My mouth went dry from the intense look in his eyes but before I could react and smile or do something other than stare back, Troy moved in front of me blocking my view and helping me to my feet from the bench that I had been sitting on.
"You could give some guys in the NHL a run for their money" he teased throwing a friendly arm around my shoulders and leading me out with the rest of the group into the cold, Canadian air. Sidney caught up to us and walked beside us with his arm casually bumping mine as we walked along. It made me feel like I was in the middle of a Crosby sandwich, a feeling that I definitely didn't mind considering how cold it was.
Back at the house, we said our goodbyes to family members that were leaving to head back home and to Sidney's parents and Taylor who were driving us to the airport in the morning to catch our flight. I accepted everyones warm hugs and ignored the playful suggestions that various aunts and uncles made about my now "legendary" goal.
"Ready to go?" Sidney asked directing everyone's attention to me as we said our final goodbyes. As if on cue, I yawned and nodded signalling that I was definitely ready to fall into bed and sleep until I absolutely had to wake up in the morning.
The rest of the car ride was silent as we drove back to his house, leaving us alone for the first time all day. I studied his profile watching as he drove silently, tapping his fingers along to the CD playing softly in the car. He wasn't listening to the rock crap that he normally listened to in the car that got him pumped before games. For once it was nice to see him having some much needed downtime where he could just relax.
"I had fun today" I said breaking our now comfortable silence. "Thanks for everything and for bringing me here."
He didn't answer at first making me wonder if he had even heard me at all. I was contemplating repeating myself when we swung into the driveway with him finally turning to face me in the car.
"I'm glad you had fun" he replied pulling the keys out of the ignition and opening the door on his side of the car.
His mood baffled me and made me wonder if I had done anything tonight that would possibly annoy or bother him besides scoring one lousy goal on him. Even he wasn't so fanatical about hockey to actually be annoyed by the fact that I had had a lucky shot.
"Is everything okay?" I asked following him into the house and out of the cold air.
"Of course, why?" he said taking my coat and hanging it up next to his in the closet. These were the very same motions that we had gone through the night before but now the atmosphere felt completely different between us. Somehow something had changed in the past few hours. I didn't think that he was mad at me but this wasn't the same Sidney that I had been around earlier in the day either.
"You seem kind of...distant" I added picking one of the many adjectives that I could apply to his mood in that moment.
"Sure, I'm just tired- been a long day." He filled up another glass of water and chugged it before setting his glass in the sink. "Think you can be ready to go by 9 tomorrow morning?" he asked completely changing the subject. His tone wasn't unfriendly or cold but it wasn't completely him either. It was the less personal version of him that he used whenever he wanted to distance himself from others. So why is he using it now with me?
"Sure, I can be ready then" I agreed not knowing what else to say unless I decided to beat the reason why he was suddenly acting so strange out of him. Somehow I didn't think that would be a good idea.
"Okay then, I'm going to head to bed and try to get some sleep. See you in the morning." He leaned closer and I was almost convinced that he was about to kiss me when I felt his lips press quickly against my forehead.
He turned on his heel and left me standing alone and feeling more confused than ever.
What had I done?
P.S. I didn't proof this so read at your own risk!
Sid's POV:
My pride hurt like a bitch as I quickly pulled myself back to my feet and stared disdainfully at the smug looking puck resting in goal. A body slid forcefully into mine and I recognized Em's red hair hanging out of her helmet as she patted me down to make sure that I was okay.
"I am so sorry!" she said turning me partially to wipe ice off of my back and I almost believed that she was sincere until I heard the giggles muffled only by the helmet on her head.
"Yeah, sure." I said ignoring the hysterical laughter of the rest of my family. I realized that I was in for a long night of puns and torture from my family.
"So, she's really knocked you off your feet, hasn't she Sid?" my Uncle John said coming over to pat Em on the back and make a fool out of me by winking obviously for the two of us to see. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
"You're not mad, are you?" Em asked looking up at me with big eyes and an innocent smile on her face. The smug look in her eyes is what gave away the truth- inside she was loving the fact that she had beaten me at what was truly my own game.
Was I actually mad? No. Did I maybe want to milk this for what it was worth? Yes.
"I don't know, I think I might have done something to my back" I said wincing for effect and watching her eyes widen in surprise.
"Really?!" she said grabbing my side and turning me. Between my padding and warm clothes, her hands were never going to get to where I wanted them- on my skin. Especially in front of my family.
"It's nothing" I said shrugging her off, slightly embarrassed by the way my body wanted to react to her touch. "Lets just get out of here."
Her face deflated a little bit more and I realized that I sounded angry rather than just sexually frustrated. Damn it.
Taylor was still gloating and congratulating Em for her goal and the two of them were led away by the rest of her team off to the benches to remove their skates. Now instead of reassuring her that I was really okay, I was coming off like a complete asshole. Way to go, Crosby.
As I watched her, I was beginning to notice how well she seemed to fit in with my family and how quickly they had trusted her and welcomed her into our small circle.
Even my Dad, who normally expected me to keep women at arm's length during the season, seemed to be giving me all of the signs that I would be crazy not to snatch Emma up. If that wasn't significant, then I didn't know how much more obvious they could be about telling me that they liked and approved of her.
But then again, watching my family surround her had me feeling anxious all of the sudden. I had originally brought her home with me because we were friends- thus eliminating me from pressure. But then again, who was I kidding? Had Emma and I ever been completely just friends?
Now that something was actually developing between us, her being here was suddenly complicated- complicated further by the fact that everyone in my family had given their approval, including my parents.
This wasn't just a 'I'm bringing a friend home with me for a holiday' sort of thing but rather a 'Here's someone that I have a relationship with' sort of thing. It was obvious just how happy being around my family had made her in the past couple of days and how much she had opened up to them.
That was another thing that worried me. Was it fair to Emma to let this relationship develop knowing that I would never be able to be there for her all of the time or provide her with the stability that she craved?
I was ridiculously attracted to her and I couldn't remember a time during our friendship that I hadn't wanted her, even while I was busy distracting myself with other women and suppressing my attraction to her with boatloads of denial.
Still, none of this really mattered if I wound up hurting her along the way and if I continued to let a relationship pan out between us.
Emma's POV:
I tried not to let it show that Sidney acting like a jerk had dampened my mood at all after scoring what was frankly, a miracle goal.
"Seriously, that was one of the most amazing and funniest things that I've ever seen!" Taylor was still dramatically retelling the momentary glory of my goal and enjoying the mental image of her hockey star brother getting creamed by another girl.
I looked over to see what the hockey star in question was doing and met his gaze, already watching me remove my skates. My mouth went dry from the intense look in his eyes but before I could react and smile or do something other than stare back, Troy moved in front of me blocking my view and helping me to my feet from the bench that I had been sitting on.
"You could give some guys in the NHL a run for their money" he teased throwing a friendly arm around my shoulders and leading me out with the rest of the group into the cold, Canadian air. Sidney caught up to us and walked beside us with his arm casually bumping mine as we walked along. It made me feel like I was in the middle of a Crosby sandwich, a feeling that I definitely didn't mind considering how cold it was.
Back at the house, we said our goodbyes to family members that were leaving to head back home and to Sidney's parents and Taylor who were driving us to the airport in the morning to catch our flight. I accepted everyones warm hugs and ignored the playful suggestions that various aunts and uncles made about my now "legendary" goal.
"Ready to go?" Sidney asked directing everyone's attention to me as we said our final goodbyes. As if on cue, I yawned and nodded signalling that I was definitely ready to fall into bed and sleep until I absolutely had to wake up in the morning.
The rest of the car ride was silent as we drove back to his house, leaving us alone for the first time all day. I studied his profile watching as he drove silently, tapping his fingers along to the CD playing softly in the car. He wasn't listening to the rock crap that he normally listened to in the car that got him pumped before games. For once it was nice to see him having some much needed downtime where he could just relax.
"I had fun today" I said breaking our now comfortable silence. "Thanks for everything and for bringing me here."
He didn't answer at first making me wonder if he had even heard me at all. I was contemplating repeating myself when we swung into the driveway with him finally turning to face me in the car.
"I'm glad you had fun" he replied pulling the keys out of the ignition and opening the door on his side of the car.
His mood baffled me and made me wonder if I had done anything tonight that would possibly annoy or bother him besides scoring one lousy goal on him. Even he wasn't so fanatical about hockey to actually be annoyed by the fact that I had had a lucky shot.
"Is everything okay?" I asked following him into the house and out of the cold air.
"Of course, why?" he said taking my coat and hanging it up next to his in the closet. These were the very same motions that we had gone through the night before but now the atmosphere felt completely different between us. Somehow something had changed in the past few hours. I didn't think that he was mad at me but this wasn't the same Sidney that I had been around earlier in the day either.
"You seem kind of...distant" I added picking one of the many adjectives that I could apply to his mood in that moment.
"Sure, I'm just tired- been a long day." He filled up another glass of water and chugged it before setting his glass in the sink. "Think you can be ready to go by 9 tomorrow morning?" he asked completely changing the subject. His tone wasn't unfriendly or cold but it wasn't completely him either. It was the less personal version of him that he used whenever he wanted to distance himself from others. So why is he using it now with me?
"Sure, I can be ready then" I agreed not knowing what else to say unless I decided to beat the reason why he was suddenly acting so strange out of him. Somehow I didn't think that would be a good idea.
"Okay then, I'm going to head to bed and try to get some sleep. See you in the morning." He leaned closer and I was almost convinced that he was about to kiss me when I felt his lips press quickly against my forehead.
He turned on his heel and left me standing alone and feeling more confused than ever.
What had I done?
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