Chapter 16

Ahhh. So I'm sorry about not updating a lot this week (or at all). I had a crazy week work-wise but now I have a week off for fall break and plan on writing a lot during that time- hopefully, if all goes accordingly. Thanks guys!

Sid's POV:

I was an ass for letting her drive off when she looked like that but I couldn't help it. What I said had burst out of my mouth so quickly that I didn't have the chance to process how mean it actually sounded. I knew better than to talk about her relationship with her family like that and yet I was still an idiot that made her look like she was going to cry. Especially since my intention that evening was to actually help her out and make sure that she went home and got some sleep now that the event was over. Getting Christine out of the way had been tricky because she thought that she was staying with me and had left all of her things over at my house. Even if I made up some excuse about why she couldn't be there, she would still be there when I got back so I dropped her off not really caring if she was there or took it upon herself to go back to her apartment for once. At least I had never given her a key.

When I got back to the banquest, mostly everyone had left and I passed Mario and Nathalie leaving on my way back up.

"I thought I saw you leave with Christine awhile ago?" Mario questioned.

"I forgot something here" I said trying to think of something that I could have left. It wasn't like I had a purse or something easy that a woman would leave behind.

Mario bought it and left Nathalie with me while he got the car.

"Sidney, what are you doing?" she asked eyeing me. It was a loaded question and I knew that after she had walked in on my whatever with Emma earlier, she was suspicious of something going on. And judging from the way she was looking at me, she didn't look very happy towards me either.

"Nothing" I said playing dumb. She gave me another look and we both stood there silently. I didn't know why I was still  there with her but somehow it seemed like I was supposed to be.

Mario pulled up outside and signalled to her to go outside. "Just be careful and don't screw up. She's important, Sidney." She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and left me standing there staring after her.

How did she know that anything was actually going on between Emma and I? Did other people know?

"Hey man, I thought you went home?" Staalsy asked stopping with his date on their way out. I mumbled something else about how I forgot something and he clapped me on the back before yelling to everyone nearby that they were going out for drinks. That was easy.

I grabbed the next elevator and pulled my phone out when I felt it buzzing against my side. Christine was calling me which meant that she was probably still at my house and wondering where I was. I knew that I needed to actually do something about her soon. I wasn't sure what was happening between Emma and I but regardless, I couldn't be with Christine anymore. Especially since she was pressuring me into living together and no doubt marriage soon after that. The idea of being married to her and having to deal with her for the rest of my life was terrifying and the thought alone was enough to make me want to end it sooner. How could someone possibly want to get married after only dating for four months? It was ludicrous.

I walked back into the banquet room and spotted Emma immediately. She was pretty hard to miss in that little dress of hers and was leaning over a table in her bare feet while she helped clear tables. I had to force myself to keep my eyes on the back of her head instead of letting my eyes wander like they wanted to. Focus, Sid.

She yelped and nearly fell backward when she realized that I was standing behind her trying to get her attention.
"Jesus, Sidney! Why do you creep up on me like that still?"

Because I know I like you more than any other girl I know and the girl I'm actually dating.

From there the rest of the night went down hill. First she was annoyed that I kept trying to get her to go home and then she seemed annoyed that I was helping her by folding a table cover with her and picking up her shoes. I kept brushing it off knowing that she was tired and when she was tired she got cranky, no matter how nicely you treated her. It was just one of those traits I had gotten used to over the years of being her friend.

Besides, it was the holidays. As much as she claimed to love them, I knew that her family didn't do jackshit to make sure that she had someone to spend Christmas with and it pissed me off to no end. Why did she always refuse everyone's offers for dinner when she was just going to spend the day alone? It didn't make any sense to me. Spending the day with someone else's family was at least better than spending it alone, right? I wanted to see how receptive she would be to spending the holidays in Nova Scotia with me but was almost afraid to ask. This girl made me do and say stupid things and I knew that I would screw up even asking her if I didn't tread carefully.

I helped her clean up some more and when she finally figured out that I wasn't leaving until she did, we gathered up our stuff and got ready to leave. I hated that she always looked so surprised when someone did something to help her out. More importantly I hated that she looked that way around me- almost like it surprised her everytime that someone else would remember a detail for her or more annoyingly, about her.

She wasn't used to being taken care of in any form and knowing this made me extra cautious in even bringing up the topic of the holidays. I wasn't quite sure why all of the sudden I felt such a strong need to make sure that she was taken care of but I did. This was also something that I definitely didn't even want to think about right now either.

We were both silent in the elevator and I just wanted to get out into the fresh air. Elevators made me feel clausterphobic and it was worse with her because I could smell the light perfume she had on and it was quickly becoming the only thing I could think about while standing in a small, enclosed space with her. It made me want to do something crazy like kiss her which would of course ruin everything simple and platonic between us. For as interesting as tonight had been,  I knew that there were still boundaries between us and now wasn't the time to start crossing them. Even though I was pointedly trying to ignore what her perfume was doing to me and the way her elbow kept innocently brushing up against my side.

"So, what are you doing for the holidays?" I asked suddenly getting a raging bout of word vomit. Seriously, I had so much control over everything else in my life- why was she suddenly making me feel like a nervous pre-teen?

Of course she got defensive and tried to brush off any notion of spending the holidays with me and my family. I knew that she didn't mean to be rude by saying 'no' repeatedly but part of me wanted to throttle her for being so stubborn and then push her back against her car and kiss her for the exact same reason. Even though we were yelling at each other, I knew she was hurting just because we were talking about her useless family. That's when I should have stopped. I knew better than to continue but something about the way that she just refused to even think about this pissed me off.

And that's when I opened my mouth. "You know, I was just trying to be nice and show you a nice time with my family. I hate that your family treats you like shit and ignores you all of the time so I wanted to help you forget about for a few days but it's obvious that you would rather just sit alone at Christmas instead of getting over your damn pride."


Automatically she looked as if I had slapped her. Quickly she tried to cover it up by looking anywhere but me but I knew that what I had said was just wrong. Trying to apologize didn't work. She wouldn't even look me in the eye.
 
"I'm going home. Thanks for helping out tonight."
 
I opened my mouth trying to think of the right thing to say to make her stay and came up with nothing. Instead I stood there mentally kicking my own ass as she drove away knowing that I had everything to do with the tears that were threatening to fall out of her eyes.