Chapter 18

Emma's POV:

I thought that I had died. Maybe died and gone to heaven but mostly I was just dead. Whatever my current state of being, Sidney had unexpectedly kissed me and as much as I enjoyed it, it was confusing as hell.

But lord, the man could kiss me. It was like he knew exactly the type of pressure to use to make my knees weak and my mind screaming for more. Did every girl feel like that while he kissed them? I really, really hoped not. No matter what happened from now on, I wanted to remember that kiss forever as the most perfect kiss I would probably ever experience.

Part of my brain registered that I was bat shit crazy to tell him to stop but my mind was spinning in so many directions that the only thing I could think was 'why is he kissing me?'

That didn't last though as within seconds his perfect lips found mine again and this time, I pulled him closer wanting to wrap myself in his warmth and never leave. I literally felt like we were being electrocuted but it was the kind of shock I didn't mind.

And then I remembered. Christine. He was in a relationship with someone else. I couldn't be that girl who cheated with someone else's boyfriend. Sidney wasn't that kind of guy either which made kissing him ten types of wrong right now.

"Sidney, we can't" I murmured pulling myself away from him once again. "Why did you do that?" There had to be a reason why he had suddenly decided to kiss me- seemingly out of nowhere!
"I don't know" he confessed still holding me, eyes flickering down to my lips and then back to my eyes.

How did he not know? I wasn't a siren that just forced men to kiss me upon command. I certainly wasn't hot enough to attract guys like Sidney- a fact that I had learned a long, long time ago. So how did he just not know why he had kissed me? Besides, Sidney Crosby never did anything without a reason- on or off of the ice.

Everything after that happened so quickly that it was almost like it had never happened at all. Like an idiot I practically shoved him out the door and told him that we would talk later but really that translated to "we'll talk after Christmas because I really need a break from you right now." He was absolutely nuts if he thought I was going to spend Christmas with him after what had just happened. Especially since he still had a girlfriend, it wasn't like I wanted to be a homewrecker. Somehow it had just happened.


"So you mean he just kissed you? Out of the blue like that?"

It had been three days since I had seen Sidney and I had yet to call him so that we could talk. Instead I had rallied Vero and Eliza and confessed all of the weird tension between us while we ate dinner. Sadly, neither of them had seemed very shocked about it.

"The tension between  you two is just ridiculous. At first it was kind of cute, but now it's hard to watch." Vero said looking to Eliza who nodded in agreement. Since when had this happened? And why hadn't they informed me? Their own relationship bliss must be clouding their ability to read other relationships fairly.

"Yes, he just kissed me! Out of nowhere!" I said finally answering Eliza's original question. "How are we supposed to stay friends and just friends after this?"

"Wait, wait" Eliza said holding up a hand to pause what I was saying. "You want to be just friends with him?"

That made me pause. I didn't know what I wanted anymore. It wasn't really a matter of choice anyway. It had taken me freaking years to even become his friend. It was highly doubtful that now, all of the sudden after years, he was taking a romantic interest in me. That stuff happened in movies, it didn't happen in real life and it certainly didn't happen to me.

"Well, yeah. I mean we are friends. And we have to remember that Christine is still in the picture."

"I hate that bitch" Eliza commented taking a sip of her coke. "Sid is so much better than her so why is he still with her?"

"She's an easy lay" I said surprising even myself. I didn't normally say things like that but wasn't it true?

Vero was still eyeing me in surprise but agreed with me. "She's right. She's hot if you're into the dark hair and easy thing. What guy wouldn't want that? I don't think that even Saint Sidney is immune to her" Vero added confirming what we all already knew.

Saint Sidney was right. Maybe he was just testing me. Or he was drunk. But who gets drunk after a morning workout?

"Maybe he's finally realizing that a good thing has been in front of him all along" Eliza said shrugging. It was sweet of her to say and I knew she was just being supportive but of course she would say that. She had become a big gooey, romantic mess since meeting Max. Right now, that just wasn't what I wanted to hear.

"Just talk to him. See what happens." Vero told me acting as if this was just a simple matter. Little did she know, this was anything but simple.


Lunch was over entirely too fast and I was standing out by my car back at the Mellon debating whether or not I should call him or chicken out and wait another three days. If I knew what to say, I would call and get it over with. The problem was, I had no freaking idea what to say to him. As I was standing there practically in the middle of an existential breakdown, my phone began to vibrate in my hand. The caller i.d. read Sidney and I groaned outloud realizing that this was probably some sign from a higher being. Clearly this higher being liked to torture me.

"Hello?" Why was I acting like I didn't know who it was? As much as I hated him sometimes, he had the ability to turn me into an idiot.

"Em? It's Sid. I was just wondering if you had a second to talk." The sound of his voice shot tingles down my spine but I didn't trust myself enough to decide whether it was because I had missed him or because I was nervous.

"Um yeah, I have a minute to spare." God, I was pathetic.

"Well we're going back out on the road tonight but I wanted to make sure that we were okay." I nodded even though he couldn't see me as he nervously rambled. It was soothing to hear the anxiousness in his voice while he tried to make things normal between us. It felt reassuring to know that I wasn't the only one who was all worked up about this.

"So I just wanted to make sure that you weren't mad at me or something."

"No I'm not mad, I promise" I said laughing slightly. He sounded so genuinely concerned that it was vaguely amusing. "I've just been really, really busy and I haven't gotten around to calling you." There, that doesn't sound too bad, right?

"Yeah, well listen-" He started to say something but I panicked worried about where he was going to take the conversation. Would it be terribly immature to fake static on the line and pretend that we got cut off? Definitely.

"Actually Sidney, I'm really sorry to cut this short, but I'm just about to walk into a meeting. Could we talk later maybe?" I didn't know why I was ending this conversation so quickly when I was the one who wanted answers. Had I gone completely insane now?

"Yeah," he sighed sounding frustrated with me. "I've got to go too. We're about to take off."

"Okay well, thanks for calling." I felt like we were 14 years old all over again and having our first boy-girl phone conversation.

I knew he was mad when he didn't say anything, choosing to hang up the phone after I said goodbye. I got it- he was frustrated. He was frustrated and I was a coward.

Oddly enough, he hadn't apologized for anything. What did that mean exactly?


Sidney's POV:

I slid my cell phone closed controlling my urge to hurl the phone against the seat in front of me. I had fucked up royally with Emma and now she could barely talk to me on the phone. Usually I could wait and get past her little avoidance games but after trying to be patient for days, I realized that this was going to be harder and a hell of a lot more frustrating than I planned.

Patience was what she needed but what was I supposed to do? Be so patient with her that we never spoke again? I didn't think so.

"Whoa man, save the aggression for the ice." I shifted to let Flower take his seat next to the window while I kept my aisle seat. I hated the window seat and always felt trapped there when we were on long flights.

"Are you okay? We need to kick Staalsy's ass today" he said holding his PSP up as a reminder of our regular flight games.

"Yeah" I told him leaning back into my seat and trying to forget about a certain cowardly redhead.

"Ready to play!" Staalsy yelled boarding the plane and taking the seats in front of us. He was making so much noise that the stewardess looked freaked out by his antics and enthusiasm for Socom. Guess she was new around here.

"You better not make us lose. I'm not covering your ass on the ice and in Socom too" Marc said pulling his tray down and turning on his PSP. 

I did not need my ass covered in anything. On the plus side, if I focused on being with the guys for the next few days, then my mind wouldn't be stuck on Emma and wondering what the hell I was even going to say to her once she finally let me speak.

Patience, Sid. Patience.