Chapter 30

Chapter 30! I can't believe I made it this far with these two. :)

Emma's POV:

I had no idea where we were going when he not so nicely shoved me into the passenger seat of his car and locked the doors as if he was worried that I was going to jump out just to get away from him. I would be lying if I said that the thought hadn't crossed my mind already. 

We drove in silence and I refused to ask where we were going. He was probably just taking me home and it was a good thing that Brian had driven me so that my car wasn't sitting at the Guerin's overnight. It was embarrassing enough for everyone to see Sidney drag me out the door- I didn't need physical proof as big as a car there to remind everyone when they left in the morning.

They were all probably thinking that something sordid was about to happen between us. I know that was the look Eliza gave me when I had looked to her for support. Too bad that was the farthest thing from happening to me right now.

I was still so angry at him that I didn't even try to hold back the angry sniffles that were about to break free. I had always been an angry, frustrated cryer and I just didn't care what he thought anymore. He was the one that had ruined my week and now he was ruining my evening as well with his insistence that we talk and then when he dragged me out the door in front of everyone.

I watched the dark landscape of Pittsburgh fly by as we drove and realized that he was indeed taking me home as we pulled onto my street. Great, so he really was going to just take me home and make me spend the rest of my New Year's Eve alone.

As soon as the car was stopped, I was ready with my seatbelt already unfastened and hopped out immediately to walk to the front door. He may not have let me grab my purse on the way out but I was old-fashioned and kept a spare key hidden beneath a flower pot by the door.

"What are you doing?" I snapped when I heard Sidney jog up the walkway behind me. "You've made a scene, dragged me away from the party and my date and I believe you've made your point for the night. As far as I'm concerned, you can go home now."

"What point? I haven't even talked to you yet" he stated not budging an inch. My hands fumbled with the key because I was too distracted by his presence to properly put the key in the door. Another reason to hate him right now.

"Oh believe me Sidney. You don't have to talk because your actions the past few days have said enough."

"Remind me not to cross you again" he said shaking his head and slipping the key out of my fumbling hand. He calmly unlocked the door and I pushed it open.

Unfortunately he slapped a hand on the door before I could close it in his face. "I'm coming in" he stated walking into my foyer and locking the door up behind him.

"Sure, come in, make yourself comfortable" I mocked slipping off his jacket and slapping it to his chest. If I was going to fight with him, I didn't want to smell his comforting scent on me.

"Can we talk now?" he asked following close behind me as I made my way into the kitchen. The only response he got was the slapping of my heels on the hardwood floors beneath me.

"You can talk, I don't have to listen" I stated taking a glass from the cabinet and filling it with tap water. He watched me cooly and I vaguely wondered why we always seemed to end up fighting in the kitchen.

"Listen, I'm sorry that I just disappeared for the past couple of days" he started leaning back against the island. 

"Why did you have to disappear like that?" I asked letting the question I had been dying to know all week slip free. "What did I do that made you shut off and ignore me for days?"

"You didn't do anything" he stated looking panicked at the tears in my eyes. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. It wasn't you-"

"Let me guess" I said sarcastically. "It's not me, it's you?"

He frowned, a deep line settling on his forehead as a result. "I wasn't trying to feed you a line, Emma. I'm trying to be honest with you even though I guess I should have done that from the start."

"Even though all signs point to the fact that we would work well together- I knew it wouldn't be fair to you in the end." I watched him curiously as he started to pace around the kitchen looking more anxious than he had all night. "I mean, my family loves you, you understand the lifestyle that I need to lead and to top it all off, you're amazing."

My breath hitched in my throat waiting for the inevitable "but" that was sure to follow.

"I know that I was the one who started this, I pushed you along, but I realized while I was back home that I can't put you through what being in a relationship with me would be like."

He held up a hand to keep me from saying anything and continued. "Being with me would open your own life up to scrutiny and I don't think it's fair for that to suddenly become your life when you never even asked for it."

As much as I hated to say it, it looked like Eliza had nailed it on the head when she said that Sidney was being Sidney. Unfortunately, it didn't make me any less pissed off at him for just assuming what was best for me.

"So you just decided for me?"

He sensed that this was a dangerous question and I put my glass down, taking a step closer to him.

"You just decided that it would be a good idea to decide for me and not even tell me what was on your mind?"

"I guess" he stated dumbly. He may not have gone to college and he may not be interested in russian literature but Sidney was by no means a stupid man. I admired him more for the fact that he was so successful by unconventional means in society. To top it off, he was a good person.

Despite this, it was moments like these that seriously made me question his intelligence. Especially his emotional intelligence.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked coming to stand directly in front of him. His eyes darted down to the limited space between us and I leaned forward even farther letting my breasts rub briefly against his own chest. He shifted uncomfortably obviously confused by my sudden mood swing.

"Do you like me?" I asked waiting for the sign I needed to continue. He had given me every reason that I already knew of why being with him would be difficult. These reasons would undeniably put pressure on any relationship but he was ignoring the fact that he was also a difficult person in general. If anything, his know it all personality (like the one he was exhibiting now) would be the thing to set me over the edge- not trivial things that someone else said about us. All I needed to know was an answer to the question I had just asked him.

"I think it's pretty obvious by now that I like you" he said laughing slightly. "That's why I'm trying to-"

I cut him off having the only answer that I needed and shut him up by covering his mouth with my own. He quickly regained control by tracing my lips with his tongue asking for entrance as I pulled him closer to my body.

Just like that, things were momentarily mended. He may not completely understand yet the point that I had been trying to make but at least I understood what he had been trying to do and I was patient enough to take the time to show him that he was wrong.

His tongue languidly stroked mine as we silently communicated that we were sorry over and over again. I groaned in displeasure when his mouth left mine to trace the curve of my cheek with his mouth.

"Couch?" I squeaked, my hands holding on tightly to his shoulders when he found a particularly sensitive spot on my neck. He nodded and hitched me up allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist as we crossed the kitchen on our way to the living room. My dress was hitched up from wrapping my legs around his waist leaving my legs exposed to his wandering hands.

I wanted this. I had always wanted him in some capacity or another but right now the sole thing my mind could focus on was how badly I needed to feel connected to him. I physically ached for his body to meet mine and finally fulfill what I had been looking for all along from him.

My back met the couch as he laid me down and I shivered against the cool material until his body rapidly covered mine, our mouths meeting again like we hadn't tasted each other in days. Wanting to feel more of him, my hands tugged the back of his shirt out of his pants and I slid my hands up his well muscled back and kneaded the muscle- loving the way the warm flesh shifted beneath my fingers. He groaned from the sensations and slid his hands around my front to tug the material of my dress down and expose my matching red bra. Nimbly he unfastened the bra and tossed it aside leaving me completely exposed to his eyes which heated my skin with their gaze. His eyes were almost black now and I had no idea what he was thinking as he leaned down to plant another kiss on my neck, working his way down in an exquisitely slow pace.

"You're beautiful" he mumbled against my collarbone elliciting a sigh from my lips. That was all it took to make me hungry for more and to ask him to hurry things up. His hands were suddenly everywhere at once and it was all I could do to try to keep up and let my hands get enough of him in response. I wanted all of him, as my hands raked over him silently telling him to keep going, I realized that I couldn't get enough and wanted to take a moment to record every sensation that the feeling of his skin on my hands made me feel.

I was positively tingling by the time our clothes were completely gone and my breath sped up in anticipation of the joining that was to come. "Are you sure?" he asked pulling his lips back to pant the question in my face.

I nodded wondering why the hell he was even asking me and ground out a "please" taking the initiative and sliding the condom down over his erection. Kissing me deeply as he went along, I shuddered feeling the anticipation reach its hilt as he slowly entered my body. Neither of us were virgins but it felt like the first time all over again. The feeling of pleasure and pain that comes from the welcoming of another person's body into your own made me gasp out. He paused allowing both of our bodies to adjust before beginning to move slowly.

He buried his face in the crook of my neck and I arched into him wanting more of what he could give as the tempo increased, his name rolling off my tongue repeatedly in synch with the movement of our bodies.

Finally, something between us felt right and I clutched him closer to my body as we both came allowing the hazy aftermath to settle over us in perfect silence.