Chapter 32

Sorry it's been awhile guys. It doesn't help that when I kept trying to write tonight, I was distracted by re-runs of Celebrity Rehab. Do you know how addicting reality tv is when it involved hot mess celebrities?? Hope you like the chapter, I feel a little rusty.

P.S. Where did all 52 of you readers come from? I'm seriously amazed and humbled that you all actually clicked on the follow button. Thank you so much!!!!


Sid's POV:


The buzzer blared above signalling the end of the game and also our defeat. We lost 5-4 in overtime and from the way the rest of the team was frozen on the ice, no one was going to be in a good mood on the way back from Columbus (** Note: I just felt like Rick Nash should win something besides the Olympics for once!*).

I skated off concentrating on the familiar swish of my legs instead of the crowd jeering at us and celebrating their at home win. Moments like these were the hardest as a team captain. Possibly I, more than anyone else, felt the loss of each game during and after the season. Everyone was bummed but guys like Talbot were able to let go a little easier than I was. On top of that, then I had to shrug it off for the team's sake and concentrate on the next game so that we could move on.

"All right, pack up guys, we need to get out of here and back on the road" Coach said walking into the locker room and immediately out of sight. It wasn't that we had played badly tonight, we had simply lost. For some reason the Blue Jackets wanted it more and they got to the puck better than we did.

"What was up with you tonight?" I looked over to see Talbot undressing and watching me out the corner of his eye.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it seemed like your body was out there tonight but your head wasn't."

I shrugged him off knowing that he was probably right but I didn't want to turn to the locker room's favorite subject as of late. Ever since New Years when Emma and I had left from the party in one car, the guys frequently brought it up or slyly asked me how she was doing. It had only been a week since we had sort of agreed on a relationship with each other and even if it had been a long time, I wasn't going to talk about it in a locker room.

I wanted what we had right now to be private, almost afraid that once more people knew about us, we would be under even more pressure and scrutiny. Emma was no stranger to my schedule and my life but she had only been a friend before. She had never truly been exposed to what the media could spin about us or what even fans would say. I wasn't sure that she was ready to be under that microscope yet and for her sake, I wanted to prolong it as long as possible. Even if that meant lying constantly along the way or becoming the butt of locker room jokes.

It would be worth it if I could keep things as normal as possible between us for as long as I could manage.

I had just enough time to pull an already dirty shirt over my head before the reporters came over trying to get a response or comment out of me about the night's loss. I answered their questions like I always did trying to distract them away from questions about a mid-season slump or undisclosed injuries.

By the end of the hour, the locker room was empty with the guys already back at the hotel leaving me to shower and change in blissful silence. We were on to the next city and game tomorrow and I just wanted to get some sleep.

After finally making it back to the hotel, I fell into a dreamless sleep wondering what Emma was doing or if she had even seen the game that night.


Emma's POV:


Even though I knew that it was late, I couldn't help but hope that he would think of me and call. The Pens had lost and because I had known Sidney for a few years already, I had walked into our relationship already well aware of how he handled losses. I.E. not very well. After years of playing as a professional and one of the top hockey players in the world, he still didn't understand that he alone was not responsible for the outcome of each game.

I knew that it wasn't him being conceited and believing that he alone really had that much of an impact on each and every single game, he simply just couldn't disconnect his feelings from what the final numbers on the board indicated.

I had watched the game that night from home, curled up on my couch and praying for some kind of hockey miracle. The kind of miracle that cajoles the hockey gods into helping a team out and making those pucks slide effortlessly into the net. Instead they had lost and while I knew that Sidney wouldn't be happy, part of me still hoped that I would be the one he turned to just to talk or because he thought that maybe I could make it a little bit better.

We had parted on such a high note, with this incredible feeling of comfort and relaxation between us, that I was reluctant to acknowledge that that rosy haze had cleared making room for the inevitable reality that surrounded us both. Things could never be perfect all of the time, especially with a famous hockey star as a sort of-boyfriend.

I turned off the lights in the house, walking around and carefully making sure that all of the locks were secure before walking upstairs to my bedroom and the bed that Sidney and I had shared for the past week before he left for a string of away games.

The bed that I had slept alone in for such a long time suddenly looked lonely and uninviting. I changed into my PJs and added more layers than usual since I wouldn't have another body there to keep me warm. Surprisingly, Sidney was a cuddler when he slept and I always wound up next to him, legs tangled- no matter what sleeping position we started in.

I settled myself in the middle to compensate for how big the bed felt without him.

"Ugh" I groaned out loud feeling disgusted with myself. When had I gone from single, independent lady to trying to remember how it felt to sleep alone? The worst part was that I still wanted him to call, just to reassure me that he was okay and that the loss wasn't really bothering him- whether that was complete bullshit or not. He would call tomorrow. Somehow I was sure of that.

Why wouldn't he call? We were doing something along the lines of dating now and that had to mean something, right? Even when we were just friends we traded texts while he was out on the road. It wasn't that I was turning into psycho-girlfriend who expected to hear from her boyfriend all of the time, I just wanted a quick reassurance that he was okay and maybe that he missed me too.

That wasn't a crime was it? Eliza had told me once that she and Max went through this same period of awkwardness when they first started to date. Granted things happened a hell of a lot faster for them than it ever did/would happen for Sidney and I but it still applied.

Neither of us were used to having someone to check in with or feel obligated to call to make sure that the other was okay. The game had changed and I was ready to play.

I just hoped to god that Sidney was too and reassured myself that he was as I drifted off to sleep alone in the center of the bed.