Chapter 1

Yay first chapter! I will probably write another one today, hopefully a longer one and Mr. Crosby will finally make an appearance.
If you want a music suggestion while you read this and relax, music that has been inspiring this whole story while it sat in my brain for a month or two have been Lady Gaga's "Brown Eyes" all of Imogen Heap's songs (and Frou Frou) and now Charlotte Sometimes and her CD. I've been really into Lady Gaga though as of late because it is good girl power music and that's what Emma needs right now :D

Emma's POV:


I had never disliked him more than I did in that moment. How could he just drop the charity event like that? My mind was racing and I was trying my hardest to focus on what the voice on the phone was telling me and not the fact that my heart felt like someone had just stuck it in a blender.

While I was hurt, I was more angry with him than I had been with anyone for a very, very long time. This was a defining moment for me considering I had been head over heels infatuated with him since the first time I had met him four years ago when he was a newbie in the NHL living with my parent's closest friends, The Lemieuxs.

Now as far as I was concerned, Sidney Patrick Crosby could suck it or go fall off of a cliff. Either one would put me in a better mood provided I could watch and possibly get a video copy of it for further entertainment at a later time.

"So he's not willing to commit to this event at all? Did he tell you why?" I was talking to the dreaded agent's assistant who didn't seem willing to fill me in on any details about the event that I had planned and that had been my baby for the past month. I was so unimportant that I didn't even get to speak to his agent Pat, I just got stuck with the assistant.

The assistant gave me another half-assed excuse and shooed me off the phone leaving me in the same place I was ten minutes ago. Completely screwed. I hung up and took a minute to rest my forehead on my desk and take deep breaths. The Children's Partnership Project had been my baby project, and my first big solo assignment since I had become one of the directors on the charity and events board for the Pens organization. I had been steadily working my way up and garnering respect among my colleagues for the past year when I was just a newbie college grad who had connections. A lot of the older directors had looked down upon me thinking that I had only gotten the job because I was close with the Lemieuxs but I had been working my ass off to prove them wrong only to completely fail at my first real project before it got off the ground and running. Damn it, Crosby.

This was all his fault anyway. Before I had even gotten permission to start this project, I had made sure that he would be willing to participate and be an advocate for the group with the rest of the Pens backing it. He was famous and great with kids so he was my obvious first choice to spend a little time at charity events and promote hands-on activities for children in need to work with the Penguins. Sure, he had looked at me like I was invisible like he always did but he had agreed nonetheless and I had let it go foolishly thinking that he would keep his promise.

That in itself was the real problem with all of this. I actually believed in him despite the fact that I wasn't worth noticing to him even though he saw me often and that he had resisted all of my attempts at friendship with him. I had never understood this but eventually gave up after I got tired of the pitying looks everyone around us was starting to give me. Everyone else liked me on the team! Was it so ridiculous of me to believe that him and I could be friends too?

Apparently it was because even though we had known each other for years and had worked together for the past year, I still wasn't interesting enough for the great Sidney Crosby to deign to speak to and keep a damn promise that he had made. How had I overlooked that he was never going to miraculously change his mind and finally start paying attention to me?

Well, it had taken me years but I certainly understood now and definitely wasn't going to cry about it anymore. Or cry over him anymore.

"Em? Are you okay?" I looked up from my position still face down on the desk and was startled to realize that I had been crying without realizing it. Epic fail. Eliza, one of my best friends and a lawyer for the Pens was staring at me and looking worried, especially because I hadn't said anything yet.

"What happened?" she asked quickly shutting my office door and handing me a tissue from her enormous purse. Her boyfriend Max and I jokingly referred to it as her batman utility purse but even that couldn't make me smile right now.

"He backed out of working on the Children's Partnership Project" I grumbled wiping my eyes and trying to save my eye makeup.

"Huh?" she blinked in confusion. I waited for it to dawn on her and then she just looked pissed. "Sidney backed out? But I was there when you asked him! He said he would do it!" She looked just as outraged as I felt except now, in true Emma Weston fashion, I was starting to just feel sad.

I was more committed to this job than I was to anything else in my life and I loved waking up knowing that I could go to work and design projects and groups that made a difference in people's lives. I hated that he could make me feel lousy not only about my personal life, but also now my professional life. Damn him.

"I'm so sorry hun" Eliza said coming around the desk to kneel down and pry my forehead from the desk again.

"You know, Max would definitely do it and so would Jordan or Kris" she said referring to other players on the team. Her boyfriend Max Talbot was a big goofball but adored Eliza and kids in general. If she so much as mentioned it, he would do it just because he was that nice of a guy. Unlike someone else I know.

"Maybe. I'll talk to him about it later today. I already got Kris and Jordan to volunteer anyway. Sidney was just supposed to be the media guy we needed but Max is just as good with journalists anyway. He's probably the better choice in the long run." I was starting to feel better that no matter what, I did have the other guys on the team to back me and the project up.

"Wanna go to lunch? Blow off work for an hour or two?" I smiled and nodded knowing that comfort food was exactly what I needed right now and allowed myself to be distracted by Eliza's chatter.

Her and I had become fast friends since meeting months ago and our other good friend Vero was dating the goalie for the Pens making it easy for the three of us to see each other often and attend games. Also a part of my problem.

The more I watched him play hockey, the more I became infatuated with him. I didn't understand it but I just had an intense desire to know him since the first time I had laid eyes on him. It was all foolishness now and I wondered just how much time I had wasted over him for the past few years. Probably a pathetically large amount.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Eliza asked as we walked back into the arena after lunch. She had helped me brainstorm for more people to contact to help out since I now had to fill the void of Sidney leaving the program.
"Yeah, I'm determined to make this a sucess for the kids and the Pens with or without that asshole" I said feeling a burst of energy. I had to start over in more ways than one.
"Okay, make sure you call me if you need anything from Max or I" Eliza still looked wary of my sudden mood change but began the trek back to her office on the other side of the mellon.

As soon as she was gone, I resisted the urge to wallow for the rest of the afternoon and do meaningless paperwork. I couldn't do that now and I had to be stronger if I was going to make this program a success on my own. Like it or not, I had to realize that my fantasies about Sidney miraculously changing and noticing me were never going to happen. They were fantasies for a reason afterall.

First things first, I had to start actively exploring my other options to make the program work meaning I had to go beg and plead my case with the guys and get them completely on board with the events. It was after 2pm on a Tuesday afternoon and because there wasn't a game tonight and practice long over, I knew that I wouldn't be able to find any of the guys milling around. Inviting them over to my house for a homecooked meal and a little convincing was exactly what I needed to do. Boys, especially athletic boys, could always be won over with food.

Quiet doormat no more! I was taking charge and starting to feel more invigorated than I had in weeks by late afternoon when I actually needed to get home so that I could start dinner for the guys. When I had texted them earlier about coming over for a meal and a proposition, I had gotten responses quickly and joking texts over my use of the word "proposition." Thank god that the guys on the team were always so willing to help out and had become good friends over the past few months. At least I know I can count on them.

I had to stop myself from thinking bitter thoughts again and move forward. Today had sucked but I knew that tomorrow would be better simply because I wasn't going to let this program fail. If Sidney didn't have the sense or the compassion to help with the program simply because it was the right thing to do, then screw him. The program and I didn't need him anyway.